Mesa of Lost Women

I didn't recall seeing this as a kid, but finally got around to watching it the other night after several tries (falling asleep in front of the TV each time). Having endured this singularly bad film, there's not much to add to what's been written already. This is one of the most inane pieces of grade Z film making ever achieved! It truly is 'so bad it's good'. Hilarious. The worst acting, the worst giant spiders, an incredibly bad 'spider dance' by Tarantella (pronounced 'Tarantula'), and the riotous site of Harmon Stevens (as Dr. Masterson) grinning like an idiot at everyone. I could not watch him without busting out laughing. And, as others note, one of the most grating soundtracks imaginable. A Mexican guitar jangling a couple of chords interspersed with jarring, discordant piano plinking (loudly, too) made the whole thing nearly unbearable. What a mess.

I just saw this gem on the big screen and it is terrible! The audience laughed with glee. It has what may be in serious contention for the worst sound track of all time! A constant Mexican Guitar that plays really obnoxiously for dreadfully long periods. There is one scene that is supposed to be scary but is very funny. Some Spider Women and midget Spider men are sneaking up on the films heroes and suddenly someone turns to look in their direction and the scantily clad spider women and midgets have to scamper to hide and it is just an outrageous sight seeing these grotesque midget men scampering around for cover...if you love horrible B films then you have a winner here!

One of the best of the so-bad-it's-beautiful movies. MESA OF LOST WOMEN tells the story of a mad scientist (Jackie Coogan with a wart the size of a Roosevelt dime!) who creates beautiful dancing girls out of spiders. (most likely to help out the struggling Rockette industry!) I absolutely loved the scene with the mad doc's victim, a scientist driven insane by a spider-woman encounter. He goes around bars, quoting something close to the Bible, in a silly Elmer Fudd voice.

What I really loved about this movie was Tandra Quinn, as Tarantella, the mad doc's best spider to mucha-cha creation. She's something like a brunette Jayne Mansfield with a little bit of Vampirella thrown in. Ms. Quinn, you made film history with your really strange spider dance.

This mess is one of the worst science fiction movies of the 1950's. It makes Ed Wood's films look good. It does have its moments though.

The acting is terrible and too daft to laugh at. The guitar/piano music score, which hardly stops throughout the movie, is utter rubbish and drove me mad. The only good points about The Mesa of Lost Women are the giant spider scenes. Even the spider looks terrible.

This is grade Z rubbish. A real golden turkey.

Rating: 1 and a half stars out of 5.

I saw this movie TWICE within the same week. Yes I did, believe it or not, but I do not ordinarily subject myself to such pure torture, but the main reason was (other than sharing my find with a close friend) - I wanted to count the number of times that the exact same chord sequence and jangling flamenco guitar riff repeated (plus, I kept expecting a villain to appear from behind the bat-wing doors of an old western tavern). I confess that I gave up and threw my notebook at the screen after only about ten minutes in. Yet I continued to watch it again, slowly tugging at my hair, whilst my friend stared at the screen with his mouth open during the amazingly weird voice-overs that may have found a place in a commercial for men's cheap cologne...

Okay, it isn't a movie solely about an infinite flamenco guitar motif as it also has someone banging a key or two on the piano here and there at inopportune moments throughout... I confess that I still heard parts of the soundtrack in my head about three days after I last saw this, so be careful if you value your sanity.

Anyway, it's about a mad doctor who seemingly doesn't even know the difference between spiders and insects, which is no surprise, really. His experiments, other that making giant mutant spiders that are shy and need to hide behind a folding dressing screen, is producing beautiful strong women, and very short ugly men. Why the women turn out beautiful instead of more spider-like (unlike what is implied) is anyone's guess.

I would guess that the dance of Tarantella is supposed to be somewhat erotic and I guess it is, in a way, and probably the only thing worth watching other than laughing yourself sick at Masterson's gleeful stare whilst pretending to be quite mad. (I assume he was just pretending, anyway.)

Seriously, if you want to hear an endless flamenco guitar motif that deeply embeds itself in your brain forever and ever, this is the one to watch!

1/10.