Robert Strauss credited as playing...
Sgt. Stanislaus 'Animal' Kuzawa
- Sefton: I told you boys I'm no escape artist. For the first time, I like the odds, because now I got me a decoy.
- Hoffy: What's the decoy?
- Sefton: Price. When I go, I want you to give me five minutes - exactly five minutes - to get Dunbar out of that water tank. And then you throw Price out onto the compound, nice and loud. He'll draw every light from every goon tower. It's our only chance to cut through. Well, what do you say, barracks chief?
- Bagradian: He's right, Hoffy. It's either Price or Dunbar.
- Animal: He killed Johnson and Manfredi, didn't he?
- Hoffy: It's all yours.
- Sgt. Schulz: [preparing POWs for an important inspection] The barracks should be schpic, and also schpan!
- Animal: [German accent] Ja, vee'll put pink ribbons on da bed bugs!
- [Shapiro received 7 letters at mail call]
- Animal: What do all those broads say?
- Shapiro: What do they always say?
- Animal: Lemme read one.
- Shapiro: It's not good for you, Animal.
- Animal: Hey, this is with a typewriter... it's from a finance company.
- Shapiro: So it's from the finance company. So, it's better than no letter at all. So they want the third payment on the Plymouth.
- [dropping each letter on the floor in turn]
- Shapiro: So they want the fourth... the fifth... the sixth... the seventh... So they want the Plymouth.
- Animal: Sugar Lips Shapiro. Amazing, ain't it?
- Sgt. Schulz: We will grab some shovels and we will undig that tunnel which you digged.
- Animal: Shulz, why don't we just plug up the tunnel with the Commandant in one end, and you in the other?
- Hoffy: They ought to be under the barbed wire soon.
- Shapiro: Looks good outside.
- Animal: I hope they hit the Danube before dawn.
- Price: They've got a good chance. The longest night of the year.
- Duke: I'll bet they make it to Friedrichshaven.
- Animal: I bet they make it all the way to Switzerland.
- Sefton: And I bet they don't get out of the forest.
- Duke: Now what kind of crack is that?
- Sefton: No crack. Two packs of cigarettes say they don't get out of the forest.
- Hoffy: That's enough, Sefton. Crawl back in your sack.
- Shapiro: He'd make book on his own mother getting hit by a truck.
- Sefton: Anybody call?
- Animal: [watching Sefton cook an egg] Are you gonna eat it all by yourself?
- Sefton: Mm-hmm. The yellow and the white.
- Animal: Is it all right if we smell it?
- Sefton: Just don't drool on it.
- Shapiro: You're not gonna eat the shells?
- Sefton: Help yourself.
- Animal: [Harry gives him half the shell] Hey, thanks. What are we gonna do with it?
- Shapiro: We're gonna plant it, Animal. We're gonna grow us a chicken for Christmas.
- Duke: Come on, Trader Horn, let's hear it. What'd you give the krauts for that egg?
- Sefton: 45 cigarettes. Price has gone up.
- Duke: They wouldn't be the cigarettes you took us for last night?
- Sefton: What was I gonna do with them? I only smoke cigars.
- Duke: Niiice guy. The krauts shoot Manfredi and Johnson last night, and today he's out trading with them.
- Sefton: Look. This may be my last hot breakfast on account of they're going to take that stove out of here, so would you let me eat it in peace?
- Animal: Now ain't that too bad? Tomorrow you'll have to suck a raw egg.
- Shapiro: Oh, he don't have to worry. He can always trade the krauts for a six-burner gas range. Maybe a deep freeze, too.
- Sefton: What's the beef, boys? So I'm trading. Everybody here is trading. So maybe I trade a little sharper. That make me a collaborator?
- Duke: A lot sharper, Sefton. I'd like to have some of that loot you got in those footlockers.
- Sefton: Oh you would, would you? Listen, stupe. The first week I was in this joint, somebody stole my Red Cross package, my blanket, and my left shoe. Well, since then I've wised up. This ain't no Salvation Army - this is everybody for himself, dog eat dog.
- Marko the Mailman: Today's camp news. Father Murray announces that due to local regulations, the Christmas midnight mass will be held at 7:00 in the morning. He also says, quote, "All you sack rats better show up for services, and no bull from anybody." Unquote.
- [muttering]
- Marko the Mailman: At ease.
- Animal: At ease!
- Marko the Mailman: Next. Monday afternoon, a sailboat race will be held at the cesspool. See Oscar Rudolph of barracks 7 if you wish to enter a yacht.
- [laughter and boos]
- Marko the Mailman: All right, at ease.
- Animal: At ease!
- Marko the Mailman: Next. Jack Cushingham and Larry Blake will play Frank de Notta and Mike Cohen for the pinochle championship of the camp.
- Shapiro: That's a fix.
- Marko the Mailman: [mutters of agreement] All right, at ease.
- Animal: At ease!
- Marko the Mailman: Next. Tuesday afternoon at 2:00, all men from Texas will meet behind the north latrine.
- [laughter and boos]
- Marko the Mailman: All right, at ease.
- Animal: At ease!
- Marko the Mailman: Next. A warning from the kommandant.
- [boos]
- Marko the Mailman: Anybody found throwing rocks at low-flying German aircraft will be thrown in the boob.
- [boos]
- Animal: [just missing chow time] Do you have to put your socks in my breakfast?
- Triz' Trzcinski: Tough luck.
- Animal: I hate this life!
- Sgt. Schulz: Well, well, gentlemen, am I interrupting something?
- Hoffy: Yeah, Schulz, we were just passin' out guns.
- Sgt. Schulz: Guns?
- [realizing he's kidding]
- Sgt. Schulz: Ah, you're joking. Always with the visecrackers.
- Shapiro: Visecrackers. Where did he pick up his English, in a pretzel factory?
- Sgt. Schulz: You always think I'm a square. I've been to America. I've been wrestling there. I wrestled in Milwaukee and St. Louis, in Cincinnati, and I will go back. The way the war is going, I will be there before you.
- Shapiro: You should live so long.
- Sgt. Schulz: [sharing a laugh, then stopping] Here. That's me in Cincinnati.
- Animal: [taking a picture] Who's the other wrestler? The one with the mustache?
- Sgt. Schulz: That's my wife.
- Animal: Hey, look at all that meat. Ain't she the bitter end?
- Sgt. Schulz: [taking the picture back] Oh, give it back. You must not arouse yourself.
- Animal: It ain't fair, Harry. I'm telling you, it ain't fair. My Betty. Ain't she beautiful? She married an orchestra leader.
- Shapiro: So what? There's other women.
- Animal: Not for me.
- [kissing the picture]
- Animal: Betty. Betty.
- Shapiro: Forget Betty, Animal. I'll get you a date with some of those Russian women.
- Animal: You'll get me a date?
- Shapiro: Sure. I'll get you into the Russian compound.
- Animal: How? Pinky Miller from barracks 8 tried getting over there and they shot him in the leg.
- Shapiro: It... it takes a gimmick, Animal. I figured us a little gimmick.
- Animal: You did?
- Shapiro: [pointing to his temple, indicating his brain] Sharp. Sometimes I'm so sharp, it's frightening.
- Hoffy: I called a meeting of the barracks chiefs this morning, Sefton. I thought maybe I could get you transferred to another barracks. But it turns out that nobody likes you any more than we do.
- Sefton: So you're stuck with me, huh?
- Animal: Maybe the Russian broads would take him.
- Shapiro: Not with that kisser. Not anymore.
- Duke: You got off lucky last night, Sefton. One more move, and you'll wake up with your throat cut!
- Price: You listening, Sefton?
- Sefton: Yeah, I still got one good ear.