Mel Blanc credited as playing...
Bugs Bunny • Rocky • Mugsy • Two Policemen
- [Bugs makes sounds like a police car stopping]
- Bugs Bunny: [Irish accent] All right, Clancey, take the boys and surround the house.
- [Runs through the door]
- Bugs Bunny: Jiggers, the cops!
- Rocky: Hide me! Quick, hide me!
- Bugs Bunny: Here. hide in here, quick.
- [Puts Rocky inside the stove]
- Mugsy: Hide me too! Hide me! Wah-hah-hah! It's not fair! You've gotta hide me, too!
- Bugs Bunny: I must be dreaming. It couldn't be this easy. Okay, quick. Hide in here.
- [Hides Mugsy in stove]
- Bugs Bunny: Now don't move until I tell you too.
- Bugs Bunny: [Knocking on door] All right, open up! This is the police!
- [Forces door open]
- Bugs Bunny: All right, where's Rocky? Where's he hiding?
- Bugs Bunny: [Normal] He's not in this stove.
- Bugs Bunny: [as policeman] Oho! He's hiding in the stove, eh?
- Bugs Bunny: Now look, would I turn on this gas if my friend Rocky was in there?
- Bugs Bunny: [as policeman] Um, you might, rabbit. You might.
- Bugs Bunny: Well, would I throw a lighed match in there if my friend was in there?
- [Throws match in stove; it explodes]
- Bugs Bunny: [as policeman] All right, rabbit, you've convinced me. I'll look for Rocky in the city.
- [Closes door]
- Bugs Bunny: The coast is clear, fellas. They've gone.
- [Rocky and Mugsy come out of the oven, all burned and groggy; just then the real police arrives]
- Policeman: Okay, Clancey. Take the boys and surround the house.
- Bugs Bunny: Jiggers, fellas! The cops!
- [Rocky and Mugsy hide back in the oven]
- Policeman: [Knocking on door] Open up! This is the police!
- [Bursts through door]
- Policeman: All right, Rabbit. Where's Rocky? Where's he hiding?
- Bugs Bunny: He's not in this stove.
- Policeman: Oho! He's hiding in the stove, eh?
- Bugs Bunny: Would I turn on this gas if he was in there?
- Policeman: Um, you might, rabbit. You might.
- Bugs Bunny: Well, would I throw a lighed match in there if he was in there?
- Rocky: Oh no, you don't!
- [He and Mugsy burst out of stove and grovel at the policeman's feet]
- Rocky: Take me with you! Don't leave me with that screwy rabbit! I confess! I did it! Arrest me! Arrest me!
- Rocky: Stop right there, rabbit! How much do you know?
- Bugs Bunny: Who, me? Oh, I know uh lotsa things! Two and two is four, Carson City is the capital of Nevada, uh, George Washington was the first president...
- Rocky: CUT IT! This guy knows too much, Mugsy.
- Rocky: SHUT UP!
- Bugs Bunny: Shut u-up? Why certainly! You don't think I'm the type that would keep on blabbin'? Some people never know when to stop. When I'm told to shut up, I shut up...
- Rocky: [sticks gun in Bugs's face] Shut UP shut-in' up!
- Rocky: Mugsy, take this rabbit into the other room and let him have it.
- Mugsy: Duh, okay boss.
- [laughs]
- Bugs Bunny: Alright Mugsy, let me have it! Come, come, you hoid what the boss said, let me have it!
- Mugsy: Oh uh, okay but duh.
- [Gives him his gun]
- Bugs Bunny: That's better.
- [shoots Mugsy in the face]
- Mugsy: Duh, I let him have it boss just like you said.
- [Passes out and lands on top of Rocky]
- Rocky: Get off!
- [punches him]
- Rocky: I guess I'll have to take care of that rabbit myself.
- Bugs Bunny: [Bugs tells Mugsy to pull into a gas station. As they stop, Bugs gets out of the car, borrows a nickel and walks into a telephone box] Hello, police department? I've got the bank robbers, we're on Highway 55, headin' west.
- [Mugsy quickly grabs Bugs and drags him back to the car, before driving off]
- Bugs Bunny: We're driving a '52 Acme, straight eight! Overhead valves, WITH CALIFORNIA LICENSE PLATES!
- Bugs Bunny: [Now a private investigator. Answering the phone in his office] Hello. Bugs Bunny Private Eyeball - Thugs thwarted, arsonists arrested, bandits booked, forgers found, counterfeiters caught and chiselers chiseled!