The French Line

It is difficult getting past the terrible condition of the RKO Technicolor print for The French Line. It is even more difficult believing that nobody has wanted to do something about it. Someone: please clean it up, restore it, do whatever needs to be done.

Jane Russell is superb as a sassy southern belle on a cruise to Europe. Adding to the fun is character actor Arthur Hunnicutt and leading man Gilbert Roland. The musical numbers are indeed risqué but the lyrics and choreography are not to be missed. Neither is Miss Russell's costuming which one must see to believe.

Aside from a better print, the only way this film could have possibly been better: if Robert Mitchum had been in it.

I am so stunned by the hilarious vulgarity of THE FRENCH LINE it is all I can rave about. Stacked to the hilt with personally supervised costumes and showgirl extras by bra master Howard Hughes, notorious for making glamorous RKO into a burlesque production line, the casting couch there must have needed new springs by the time this technicolour-3D extravaganza hit screens Nationwide in 1954. Seemingly made for the knee slapping amusement of rich Texan hicks and crafted by trapped RKO professionals who must have sighed at having to work on such hillbilly antics, THE FRENCH LINE is an oceangoing girlie show wrought into some semblance of a farce. Jane Russell is as usual her spunky insolent self and gets to showcase her famous torpedo talents in outfits leaving nothing not spangled. Her two main numbers near the end of the film are the ones that caused the outrage in '54 and today are probably the best drag queen numbers one could imagine. A masterpiece of tawdry tinsel, swim outfits and frocks. You'll titter all through THE FRENCH LINE, rather like Howard must have all through production. Hilarious! Republic must have realized RKO wanted the bumpkin musical films and realized Judy Canova was no Jane Russell.

Oil heiress from Texas, tired of being a one-woman corporation and falling for men who are allergic to her millions, takes a cruise to France posing as a fashion model. Tatty romantic comedy with musical interludes does have some smart lines, Gilbert Roland trying his best as a lovestruck playboy (of French descent!), and Jane Russell in the lead, alternately beaming and scowling, her tall frame self-consciously hunched to make up for everyone else's shortcomings. Russell is very natural and appealing on screen, yet she has a bad habit of filling in the blanks by making silly, exaggerated faces--some of which are funny intentionally as well as unintentionally! A blowsy piece of fluff, the movie does have its pleasures, particularly in the writing department, which is a notch above the fashion show norm. ** from ****

"The French Line" was a Howard Hughes-produced opus in 3-D, designed to showcase star Jane Russell (you can make your own guesses what the purpose of putting this innocuous musical in 3-D was...I'll give you two!). To be kind, its no "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes", to which it has some similarities.

Jane plays a Texas girl who is a reluctant millionairess - she has inherited her late father's ranch, which happens to be sitting on copious oil fields. But poor Jane only wants a man who will love her for who she is, not her money. She bewails her lot to her friend and guardian, ranch hand Arthur Hunnicutt, when her latest beau, Craig Stevens, jilts her before heading to the altar because he, like all the others, can't handle having a rich wife. Hunnicutt talks her into not canceling her planned wedding cruise to Paris on the French line, the Liberte (as pronounced by Jane, the Li-burr-tay), only she decides to go incognito so she can catch a man who knows nothing about her money.

Well, first of all, do you really think a millionairess who happens to look like Jane Russell would have such problems? This is purely a confection of a film and not worth worrying about plot lines, but its all just pretty damn silly. And unfortunately, someone decided it should be a musical except all the blah numbers are staged very awkwardly. Jane is beautiful, but hasn't much to work with here and leading man Gilbert Roland seems both a bit too mature as a match for her and definitely too Spanish to play a Frenchman (they try to pawn it off by giving him a Spanish mother). It all ends with a fashion show which just may be the most ludicrous of many far-fetched Hollywood fashion shows. And by now, all the naughtiness which got this opus condemned by the League of Decency and denied a Production seal (Jane's skimpy costumes and bumps & grinds) seem fit for a toddler to watch.

The British publication "Radio Times" in a recent review said that Jane Russell was past her prime in this movie. Were they watching? She looks great, her singing is fantastic and she seems to really enjoy herself in this film.

In my book this is one of the best musicals of the 1950's, but it's strength is that it doesn't take itself too seriously. Irreverent and vulgar, the plot is a feminist's nightmare and Jane Russell's "talents" are exploited to the full. As the picture was released originally in 3D, the tagline was "Jane will knock BOTH your eyes out!"

One of the most censored movies in American history, the film was cut to shreds in many states. The final musical number "lookin' for trouble" is truly outrageous. But the overall spirit of the film is goodnatured and full of energy.

Watch this film again and again!