Dean Martin credited as playing...
Rick Todd
- Abby Parker: You told him to kiss me?
- Rick Todd: Lady, if I'd known he was going to kiss you, I wouldn't have sent a boy to do a man's job.
- Abby Parker: [slap] That's for the man. You can tell him the job's filled.
- Rick Todd: Well, what's the rush? I never met a lady cartoonist before.
- Abby Parker: [sarcastically] All lady cartoonists are extremely grateful.
- Rick Todd: Real nice, Murdock. Very nice. Couple more issues and you and I will make 'em forget Hitler.
- Mr. Murdock: Now wait a minute. Don't get squeamish, Todd.
- Rick Todd: Know what I've decided to do, pal?
- Eugene Fullstack: Be pals with me?
- Rick Todd: Yeah, we'll be pallies.
- Rick Todd: A divorce is the only way out. We've been together - too long. Ever since we were tenderfeet in the kangaroo patrol. You can have the whole apartment. Full custody of the beans and the bat lady.
- Eugene Fullstack: I'm all set to make your dinner. How would you like your beans?
- Rick Todd: Preferably out of the can.
- Rick Todd: Every time I find a job, you lose it. Bat lady! You and your crummy comic books, that's all you ever think about!
- Eugene Fullstack: No, sometimes I think about girls, too.
- Rick Todd: I think about girls, too. That's about all. Just think about them. But, can I afford to take them out? No! You know, on account of you I'm going to be an old maid.
- Eugene Fullstack: This is serious, Rick. Honest! The bat lady scared me and I ran into the fat lady.
- Rick Todd: What bat lady? Fat lady? What are you? What are you crazy?
- Eugene Fullstack: No, I'm not crazy. This really happened. Let me explain. You see, upstairs is a bat lady. I ran the bat lady. She scared me. So, I ran downstairs to the fat lady. She scared me worse than bat lady. See?. I was running downstairs to tell you about the bat lady, but the bat lady caught me, the bat lady scares me. The fat lady was downstairs. I ran downstairs to tell you about the bat lady.
- Rick Todd: Look, if you can pretend beans are T-bone steaks, you can pretend that she's the bat lady. She might fight you, but you remember you're going to do this for your ol' Kangaroo Patrol pal.
- Eugene Fullstack: Yeah! Pouches forever.
- Rick Todd: [to Abby] Look, I'm sorry he kissed you and he's sorry he kissed you. Aren't you, Eugene?
- Eugene Fullstack: No, I liked that a lot!
- Rick Todd: [stepping into an elevator] Going up?
- Abby Parker: Yes, down.
- Rick Todd: You might try sideways, then once around the park.
- Rick Todd: Look, honey, you're an unemployed artist, and I'm an unemployed artist. What do you say we get together some time and rattle our palettes around?
- Abby Parker: Thank you for the escort. It's been dandy having somebody breathe down my neck for two hours.
- Rick Todd: Oh, well it's a dandy neck and I wouldn't mind going on overtime.
- Rick Todd: Models?
- Abby Parker: Yes, models. You understand, they're people who pose. I need one male and one female.
- Rick Todd: Well, now you can't beat that combination.
- Rick Todd: Miss Parker, aren't you breathin' a little heavy for just a kiss? You're not in condition, are you? What's the matter, all work and no playin' around?