Jack Buchanan credited as playing...
John Bentley
- Gwen Bentley: It's not infatuation. I'm in love with him.
- John Bentley: Don't be ridiculous. He's nearly as old as I am. You're only 16.
- Gwen Bentley: Juliet was only 14 when she fell in love with Romeo.
- John Bentley: They were foreigners!
- Pearl Delaney: I'm an actress.
- John Bentley: Legitimate?
- Pearl Delaney: [in a huff] I didn't come here to be insulted!
- Bobby Denver: Better put these in water
- John Bentley: My Calsilarium Optiflora!
- Bobby Denver: Never mind about your health. It's your garden, I'm worrying about. It's in terrible condition.
- John Bentley: Oh, I see. All my fault. The father's always to blame. Give the children money, you spoil them. Give them no money, you handicap them. Expect much from them, you set too high a standard. Expect nothing and you give them an inferiority complex. There is no answer!
- Stella Bentley: Of course there is, dear. As long as they're happy.
- John Bentley: Nonsense. Any monkey with a bomb tied to its tail could be happy--until it goes off.
- John Bentley: Gwendolyn, if you don't go to your room this instant. I shall put you across my knee and give you the soundest thrashing you've ever had in your life!
- John Bentley: Why is she dressed like a morbid fisherman?
- Stella Bentley: Because Peter, her husband, is an existentialist, dear.
- Pat Bentley: I might have known. You don't like Peter! You don't appreciate his hidden talents.
- John Bentley: I'm a stockbroker, not a Geiger counter.
- Pat Bentley: You couldn't appreciate him any more than you could appreciate a symphony by Picasso or a painting by Puccini or anything that has anything to do with your money-grabbing old stock exchange!
- John Bentley: Linda, go away. I'm about to commit murder.
- Linda: Miss Gwen's just committed suicide.
- John Bentley: What?
- Peter Pember: Where's my woman?
- John Bentley: Your what?
- Peter Pember: My little one. My loved one. My Rose of Sharon. My wife.
- John Bentley: Why aren't you in jail?
- Peter Pember: I escaped.
- John Bentley: I always said the French Police were inefficient.
- Corinne Bentley: Poor Daddy. I suppose as a family we are a bit of a headache.
- John Bentley: That's all right, darling. As long as you're happy.
- Corinne Bentley: No, Pop! As long as *we're* happy!
- Pat Bentley: You know, he's very disturbing. When he's with me, he drives me crazy. When he's not with me, he drives me even crazier.
- John Bentley: He just drives me crazy--period.
- Barnaby Brady: Curious pathological phenomenon, these crooners. Cardboard lovers for disappointed wives.
- John Bentley: My wife is not disappointed.
- Barnaby Brady: How do you know?
- John Bentley: [to Stella] I suppose I ought to feel flattered that you came home the other day with your hat on!
- John Bentley: Hit is Holis!
- [singing]
- John Bentley: If your sweetheart sends a letter of goodbye, It's no secret you'll feel better if you cry, When you're waking from a bad dream, Don't you sometimes think it's real? But it's only false emotions that you feel...
- John Bentley: Pearl, I am not going to immortalize you for posterity.
- Pearl Delaney: You leave my posterity out of this!
- Dr. Hermann Schneider: How would your wife react if one day you bring home a girlfriend?
- John Bentley: What are you suggesting?
- Dr. Hermann Schneider: That you change your way of living. It is a reaction to your own respectability that has made your family fall for this bohemian crooner. So, stop being respectable.
- John Bentley: What?
- Dr. Hermann Schneider: From now on, you will live in such a way that will make the "Folies Bergère" seem like a kindergarten.