King Dinosaur

A new planet moves into our solar system and four scientists (two couples) are sent to explore Planet Nova. In between romantic interludes, the cast faces an iguana masquerading as a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

This is just bad, no bones about it. With the poster art, and the title, you would think this would be about a dinosaur. But it is not. Nope. Somehow a planet identical to Earth is near the real Earth, so four people wander it while stock footage of different animals play in the background. Then, when you think there might be a dinosaur, it is just an iguana with Gordon's usual silly tricks of making animals look big.

Although the lemur was cute, that hardly redeems this stinker.

Scientists discover a new planet and decide to send an exploratory rocket with four scientists (two men and two women - how convenient) aboard. The planet closely resembles Earth with its breathable atmosphere, lush vegetation, and plethora of wildlife. The place seems simply ideal - that is, until they visit an island in the middle of a nearby lake. The island's inhabitants aren't as cute and cuddly as the lemur they've adopted and named Joe. The island is home to dinosaurs! Can our band of intrepid scientists escape the island before they become a snack?

One of the things I enjoy about 1950s sci-fi is that regardless of how bad or ridiculous a movie might be, these movies usually have a certain naive charm about them. That's not the case here. King Dinosaur has nothing that could remotely be called "charm". It's an abysmal mess. Even by Bert I. Gordon's standards it's a wretched movie (and if you're unfamiliar with Gordon's other works, those are some pretty low standards). The plot is pathetic. The acting is plain out pitiful. The depiction of the "scientists" and "science" is ludicrous. The special effects are a laugh-out-loud joke. The staged lizard/iguana/alligator fights are reprehensible. At least half the movie is composed of stock footage. And the movie is such a technical mess that I'm surprised this bunch of bozos was even able to get it on film. I'm racking my brain, but I've got absolutely nothing positive to say.

But the most ridiculous moment in King Dinosaur (and one of the most ridiculous moments in movie history) comes about 5 minutes before the movie's end. Before the four "scientists" leave the island, one of them says, "I brought the atom bomb. I think it's a good time to use it." Huh? What did he just say? You mean he's been carrying an atomic weapon around like a loaf of bread? Carrying around food, water, or . . . oh I don't know . . . scientific equipment might make sense, but an atom bomb? I could even see carrying some sort of small hand-held weapon for self defense, but a nuclear warhead? It's got to be one of the most ridiculous moments ever put on film.

Now, I did not expect this film to be good. I already knew of its bad repution, and the fact that it is was the first film by Bert I Gorden, I was already prepared to watch a bad film. KING DINOSAUR was actually even worse than I expected! All of the Bert Gordens films that I have seen are all bad, but at least I can find one or two good things to say about them. Not here! Even the opening sequence is dull. Narrator Marvin Miller tells us that a new planet has found its way in the Earths galaxy (sic). Scientists speculate the new planet, which they name "Nova" might be habitable, so plans for a manned flight to the new planet are planned. These plans are shown to us entirely with stock footage As bad as later Gorden films are, I have always felt many of his films like THE AMAZING COLOSSAL and WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST do open well. Perhaps this is the only lesson Gorden has learned from KING DINOSAUR during his long dubious career. The crew consisting of two men and two women arrive on the new planet in a super-imposed V2. WE see no shots of the inside of the ship. The crew exists the rocket and finds the planet to be...well (surprise!) just like good old planet Earth. As the crew wanders around, stock shots of normal animals like bears, moose, geese, tigers, a normal size caiman which one of the crew wrestle with like Tarzan. The crew also adopts a friendly kinkajou (?) they come upon whom they name Joe. In one scene they encounter a poor marco photographed mole cricket which briefly menaces the crew but is quickly dispatched by bullets. They then decide to explore an island that lies in the middle of a lake. I suppose since Gorden figured that King Kong lived on an island inhabited by dinosaurs, he would place his dinosaurs on an island. Hey, the film does have "king" in the title. Upon arriving on the island the crew is menaced by an oversized iguana and a few other enlarged lizards. Before fleeing the island they set the timer off on an atom bomb. Yes! An atom bomb! As they flee the island they are chased by the giant lizards, a stock shot of a mata mata turtle, and a stock footage shot of a woolly elephant from ONE MILLION B.C. They make it shore and the bomb goes off. Someone says the planet is now safe for civilization.

Why would the crew of a rocketship sent to explore a new planet bring along a an atom bomb? Because Bert Gorden probably wanted his film to end things with a bang and atom bombs do make a big bang. How does nukeing a puny island with a few dinosaurs bring civilization? What makes them think that this is only spot on the whole planet where dinosaurs live? Would not scientists back on Earth be interested in studying this abnormal zoology? Off the island they were menaced by a giant cricket. Will future Earth rockets come to nuke the rest of the planet? Did Gorden or anyone involved in the making of this film care? Why do I even bother to ask? How did I ever find this much to say about this rotten film?

This has to be one of the worst of the "B' movies. Idiotic plot,cheesy special effects,wooden acting. So many plot holes in this one:first,how does a planet just manage to enter our system without colliding with everything in its path(and with nobody noticing),and then conveniently park itself next to Earth? Next,if this new planet is so close to us,why does it take the rocket 4 months to get there? Why are all the animals so familiar? Then those gosh-awful "dinosaurs"! Blow up shots of an iguana,a caiman and a gila monster,"fighting" each other(tho I am curious if those were real fights,and if the caiman and gila were really killed,in which case it's cruelty to animals) Finally,how could they have possibly paddled a leaky rubber life raft far enough to escape being caught in the bomb's explosion? I remember this turkey being double billed with Monster From Green Hell,another clunker of the B variety,on Saturday morning TV.

Yes, it really is THAT bad. Armadillos and stock footage standing in as dinosaurs, V2 launch films run in reverse to depict a landing, nuking the new planet to save it... well, I could go on.

Godon's later films, expecially the "Amazing Colossal" movies, provide great guilty pleasures. King Dinosaur, however, can't even provide that. And I had to watch it five times to be certain. It's interesting mainly for what it said about the movie-going public of 1954.

COULD BE ON THE 100 WORST LIST.