Bob Hope credited as playing...
Francis X. Dignan
- Francis X. Dignan: [entering Larry Larkin's apartment.] Who's your decorator, Cecil B. DeMille? Man, this is what I've always wanted - everything done in contrasting shades of money.
- Larry Larkin: I have this unholy love of poking fun of stuffy people and kicking the seats of the mighty. You know, I love prodding the smug, don't you?
- Francis X. Dignan: I don't know -- I haven't prodded any smugs lately.
- Joe Wickes: Say, how'd you finish the episode?
- Francis X. Dignan: Snips kicks Runty, robs a liquor store, shoves his grandmother down the stairs, sets fire to the orphanage and shoots himself in the head. He's been under a strain.
- Norman Taylor: Why did you split up? Did she fall in love with someone else?
- Francis X. Dignan: Yeah, it was a triangle - Her, me and the man I might've been.
- Norman Taylor: Hey, Dignan, I just thought of a joke - You and Dunreath, Gussie and I are going to get married and live with Happy - ever after! Get it?
- Francis X. Dignan: Needs work.
- Francis X. Dignan: When I was thirteen I had typhoid fever. When I got over it, I was bald for a while. Pink and shiny and bald. Everybody laughed at me. And I had a hassle with a kid whose old man was my old man's boss. He called me "Erich von Stroheim" for the third time and I let him have it.