Ken Osmond credited as playing...
Eddie Haskell • Eddie
- Eddie Haskell: Gee, your kitchen always looks so clean.
- June Cleaver: Why, thank you, Eddie.
- Eddie Haskell: My mother says it looks as though you never do any work in here.
- Eddie Haskell: Wally, if your dumb brother tags along, I'm gonna - oh, good afternoon, Mrs. Cleaver. I was just telling Wallace how pleasant it would be for Theodore to accompany us to the movies.
- Eddie Haskell: Not me! Your father doesn't like me.
- Wally Cleaver: Why would you say that?
- Eddie Haskell: On account of the way he looks at me when he opens the door. Sometimes I think he'd be happier to see Khrushchev standing there.
- Eddie Haskell: Look Sam, if you can make the other guy feel like a goon first, then you don't feel like so much of a goon.
- Wally Cleaver: I don't get that.
- Eddie Haskell: Of course you don't. That's because you never went to kindergarten with a home permanent.
- June Cleaver: Eddie, would you care to stay for dinner? We're having roast beef.
- Eddie Haskell: No thank you, Mrs. Cleaver. I really must be getting home. We're having squab this evening.
- Eddie Haskell: [Beaver thinks he isn't going to graduate from 8th grade] Hey, that's tough, kid. Let me think. Maybe I can help you figure a way out of this.
- Wally Cleaver: Listen, Beav. At this point, I don't think you want to be taking advice from Eddie.
- Eddie Haskell: Are you kidding? I've been in an out of every kind of trouble there is in school.
- Eddie Haskell: [to Wally] Your father gave me a funny look when I came in... like I'm a teenage werewolf or something.