Kôji Mitsui credited as playing...
Yoshisaburo the Gambler
- [Last lines; Tonosama stumbles indoors, dripping wet, interrupting his housemates' impromptu acapella song and dance number]
- Tonosama - the former Samurai: Hey, everybody! Come quick! The actor hung himself, out back by the cliff!
- [the other men stare at him aghast. Osen slowly saunters into the doorway, clearly horrified; Tonosama's not lying. There's a long pause]
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: It was such a great party, and he had to go and ruin it. Bastard!
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: 'Piety is the last refuge in the time of trouble.' 'Belief finds glory, even in a fish's tail.' Praise be to the Buddha!
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: Money buys your fate in hell.
- Tonosama - the former Samurai: Money buys you Buddha's mercy.
- Sutekichi the Thief: I was having a great dream. I was fishing, and I'd just hooked this monster snapper. Truly a dream fish. I was just about to land that fish.
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: That's no snapper. That's Osugi.
- The Actor: You landed Osugi long ago.
- Sutekichi the Thief: Who asked you?
- [Yoshisaburo and the actor laugh]
- Sutekichi the Thief: Scram, the bitch and the lot of you.
- Rokubei, Osugi's Husband: [to Sutekichi] Can I open the door?
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: Might as well open Pandora's box.
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: [to the actor] Gimme five pennies. If you do, I'll consider your 'naturally gifted actor' a star-billing, tip-top, top-notch, sterling-silver actor.
- Rokubei, Osugi's Husband: Three mats' worth for bedtime and taking over the common room. I'm raising your rent by ten pennies.
- Tomekichi the Tinker: Why not just strangle me?
- Rokubei, Osugi's Husband: Because I wouldn't get a single penny out of that.
- Tomekichi the Tinker: Wanna fight?
- [Rokubei staggers back, accidentally treading on a reclining Yoshisaburo]
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: Hey! Ouch!
- Rokubei, Osugi's Husband: [to Yoshisaburo] Don't scare me.
- The Actor: I can't risk breathing dust. Doc's orders. "Your bitol organs are poisoned with alcohol."
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: You mean "vital organs".
- The Actor: That's right, my bitol organs.
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: It's definitely gone to your tongue. Another six months and you'll have full-blown palsy.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: You're a good man, and smart to boot. What went wrong?
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: The slammer. Four and seven months. When they threw me out, I had nowhere to go.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: Oh, my. Why jail?
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: There was this jerk...
- Kahei the Pilgrim: You did him in?
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: Just my luck. There was a meat cleaver handy.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: Any women involved?
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: No, it wasn't like that... But enough of that. That was ten years ago now.
- The Actor: Just you wait. You really will go to hell.
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: Don't be ridiculous. How can you to hell if you're already there?