Frank Sinatra credited as playing...
Joey Evans
- Linda English: What did I do last night?
- Joey Evans: You kissed me.
- Linda English: I wasn't myself.
- Joey Evans: Yeah, but, whoever you were, you were great!
- Linda English: Oh. Then what?
- Joey Evans: Then you passed out.
- Linda English: I'm ashamed of myself.
- Joey Evans: Me too.
- Linda English: Why? What did you do?
- Joey Evans: Nothin'.
- Linda English: My mother says a nice girl is a nice girl wherever she is.
- Joey Evans: Yeah, I know, and a bum is a bum.
- Joey Evans: Some guys have a system with horses and I've got a system with dames.
- Mike Miggins: Hit me.
- Joey Evans: It's a snap. You treat a dame like a lady and treat a lady like a dame.
- Linda English: What about last night? I made fool out of myself and you didn't take advantage of it.
- Joey Evans: Oh, don't pin any medals on me. It just so happens that in my book it takes two to tango.
- [first lines]
- Joey Evans: Now, wait a minute, fellas. You got this all wrong. I never laid a hand on her.
- Policeman: Yeah, we got there just in time.
- Detective: That's the trouble with you nightclub entertainers, you're all alike. You think you own every dame in the country.
- Joey Evans: Now, wait a minute, show me a law in the country that says I can't buy a doll a friendly drink.
- Detective: No law. Just don't buy a drink in your hotel room for a doll that's underage.
- Policeman: Come on, let's get goin' bud.
- Joey Evans: Now, wait a minute, how did I know she was jailbait? She looked like she was 35. Why, I should ask for a driver's license or somethin'?
- Policeman: If you had, you would have found out she was the mayor's daughter.
- Joey Evans: Hey, who's the mouse with the built?
- Ned Galvin: Oh, you got to lay off of her, Joey. She's a nice kid. Has ambition too. She wants to be a singer. By the way, I'm helping her with some of her arrangements.
- Joey Evans: Looks like she's pretty well arranged as it is.
- Joey Evans: I don't recognize the body; but, the face is familiar.
- Ned Galvin: That's Mrs. Prentice-Simpson. She owns the place.
- Joey Evans: She didn't pick up that action at Arthur Murray's.
- Ned Galvin: Oh, you're right. She used to be Vera Vanessa. She used to be in show business. Then, she married a wealthy guy and retired. Don't you remember? It was all in the papers.
- Joey Evans: Oh, yeah. Now, I remember. Vanessa the Undressa. I just didn't recognize her with her clothes on. Not a bad lookin' mouse.
- Ned Galvin: Yeah, it's too bad you can't afford her brand of cheese.
- Joey Evans: I told you something once. I'm gonna tell it to you again. Nobody owns Joey, but Joey.
- Vera Simpson: I'll show you who owns Joey.
- Joey Evans: Well, good morning!
- Linda English: What's good about it?
- Joey Evans: Oh, your first hangover? Huh? Well, there's a first time for everybody.
- Linda English: Why do people drink when you feel so awful the morning after?
- Joey Evans: Maybe because it feels so good the night before.
- Travelers' Aid: Aid, young man? Can I give you aid?
- Joey Evans: What did you have in mind?
- Travelers' Aid: I beg your pardon!
- Joey Evans: You need a singer?
- Club Manager: Singer? I don't care if you sing like a nightingale. I'm runnin' a girls' show. Legs, not tonsils.
- Joey Evans: Listen, can we go someplace after the show, have a cup of coffee and yak up old times - have some laughs?
- Ned Galvin: That'd be good; but, I got a date with a girl.
- Joey Evans: Well, if she's a good lookin' chick, bring her along.
- Joey Evans: You won't believe this, but, I was really born right here in this town, right on top of Telegraph Hill. Yes sir, my mother was sending a wire at the time.
- Joey Evans: She was singin' all those ballads in a draggy jazz and one day when the fleet landed she wanted to know from me what would please the sailors most. So, I told her. Things were never the same between us again.