War Drums

Smouldering senorita Joyce Taylor opts for a life in war paint & trousers kicking ass by the side of long-haired, blue-eyed Apache warrior Lex Barker (midway between Edgar Rice Burroughs & Karl May) in this pro-Indian De Luxe Color western set just before the Civil War which provides a bonus in the form of the presence of a still relatively young & fresh-faced Ben Johnson midway between John Ford & Sam Peckinpah.

...Just as long as you treat it as a comedy. Makes much better viewing then. You can even play 'spot the cliche' while you're watching it though you'll need pencil and paper to keep score.

Before Cochise and Geronimo became the charismatic leaders of the Apache resistance to American invasion of their Arizona homeland, the most known of their warrior chiefs was Mangas Coloradas in this film played by Lex Barker. If you're looking for the real story of Mangas Coloradas you won't find it in War Drums.

Borrowing from the real story as told in Broken Arrow between Cochise and Tom Jeffords, War Drums has Lex Barker in a romantic rivalry between himself and white trader Ben Johnson over a Mexican prisoner Joan Taylor. When Barker comes to trade with Taylor recently taken from some low lives of her own people, Johnson is willing to bargain with Barker he's taken with her beauty and spirit. But so is Barker and it's no sale.

The romantic triangle doesn't separate the two friends, but white encroachment does and their story is the rest of the film.

Too bad the story had not any truth to it. In this story of the early Civil War years, Mangas Coloradas who was born in 1790 was already beginning his 70th year as this story unfolds. He'd been at war off and on with both Mexicans and Americans for decades. His son-in-law was Cochise who is not depicted here.

When Mangas Coloradas died in 1863 it was because of some treachery involved. His real story would make a great film.

Barker, Taylor, and Johnson and the rest of the cast give sincere performances. The film is photographed nicely in fitting Southwest locations. Mangas Coloradas deserves better though and he deserves the truth.

The friendship between a cowboy and his Indian Chief friend is threatened by a fiery Mexican woman. This minor B-Western is the kind of movie that would have feminists up in arms today, with Joan Taylor being treated like a possession to squabble over by white man, Mexican and Indian alike. The plot is largely implausible, the final act is a big anti-climax, and only about 37 of the 1000s of Apaches Lex Barker claims he can summon with a click of his fingers (or mountain-top smoke signal) actually answer his call. Watchable, though, and the forgotten Taylor looks luscious.

I'll watch Ben Johnson in just about anything, and I just did. Though I've been a fan of Lex Barker's since his Tarzan days, in this he makes Ben Johnson look like Sir John Gielgud. This is possibly the worst Western I've ever seen, and I've spent my life studying them. This movie takes place in some weird Bizarro-Apache world, where the pseudo-word "Ayee!" is apparently the only word in the Apache language, because it's used for every possible meaning; where the tribe has a central camp, but the people blithely live in isolated single wikiup lodges apparently miles from each other, where the majority of the tribal folk have blue eyes, where Apache wedding gowns are apparently made by Laura Ashley, where a Mexican captive woman suddenly falls in love with her hated captor in the space of a two-minute fight scene, and where in about the same length of time she is transformed into a fierce warlike female co-chief in a beaded tank-top. There's not a moment of believable human behavior in the film. A handful of gold miners deep in Apache territory shoot a little Indian boy and let an Indian girl take him back to the tribe while they unconcernedly go back to panning for gold, despite the fact that even an idiot would know the entire tribe is going to show up in a few minutes looking for scalps...which is just what happens. A good drinking game would be to take a slug every time someone says, "Ayee!" or whenever someone does something stupidly and obviously against his own interests. It's also pretty convenient how often the heroes get devastating wounds yet ride off fairly comfortably after a little rest. Fortunately the photography is so drab and dim that it's hard always to be sure what's happening on screen--except in the day-for-night shots, which are sometimes brighter than the day-for-day shots! The only positive element of the entire film is some good stunt work and watching Ben Johnson gallop on horseback. That's always good to see. I hope he got a big paycheck for this one, though. At least it didn't have a title song.