Maurice Chevalier credited as playing...
Honoré Lachaille
- Honore Lachaille: I'll tell you about that blue villa, Mamita. I was so much in love with you, I wanted to marry you. Yes, it's true. I was beginning to think of marriage. Imagine, marriage, ME! Oh, no! I was really desperate! I had to do something. And what I did was the soprano!
- Madame Alvarez: Thank you, Honore. That was the most charming and endearing excuse for infidelity I've ever heard.
- [singing]
- Honore Lachaille: Each time I see a little girl / of five or six or seven / I can't resist a joyous urge / to smile and say... / Thank Heaven for little girls / For little girls get bigger every day / Thank Heaven for little girls / They grow up in the most delightful way. / Those little eyes, / so helpless and appealing / when they were flashing / send you crashing through the ceiling / Thank Heaven for little girls / Thank Heaven for them all / No matter where, no matter who / Without them, what would little boys do? / Thank Heaven, thank Heaven / Thank Heaven for little girls...
- Gaston Lachaille: [barges in on Honore's lunch] Uncle! I'll tell you - Europe is breeding a generation of vandals and ingrates! Children are coming into the world with ice-covered souls and hatchets in their hands! And before they have finished, they'll smash everything beautiful and decent!
- Honore Lachaille: Have a piece of cheese.
- Honore Lachaille: I must tell you that you upset all my plans for the weekend! I came prepared for battle, and an old wound...
- [points to his heart]
- Honore Lachaille: ...prevented me from charging.
- Madame Alvarez: I don't think she was your type anyway, Honore.
- Honore Lachaille: You were watching me?
- Madame Alvarez: Force of habit. When a pretty woman came by I always had to watch you.
- Gaston Lachaille: I'm sorry I kept you waiting, Uncle. Why didn't you come upstairs?
- Honore Lachaille: I was afraid I'd meet my brother and sister-in-law.
- Gaston Lachaille: You would have.
- Honore Lachaille: I have to tell you... your parents bore me to death.
- Gaston Lachaille: Me too.
- Honore Lachaille: But I've known them longer, so they've been boring me longer.
- Honore Lachaille: Don't you marvel at the power / of the mighty Eiffel Tower / knowing there it will remain evermore? / Climbing up to the sky / over ninety stories high!
- Gaston Lachaille: How many stories?
- Honore Lachaille: Ninety!
- Gaston Lachaille: How many yesterday?
- Honore Lachaille: Ninety!
- Gaston Lachaille: And tomorrow?
- Honore Lachaille: Ninety!
- Gaston Lachaille: It's a bore!
- Honore Lachaille: You wore a gown of gold.
- Madame Alvarez: I was in blue.
- Honore Lachaille: Am I getting old?
- Madame Alvarez: Oh, no, not you! How strong you were, how young and gay / A prince of love, in every way!
- Honore Lachaille: Ah, yes, I remember it well...
- Gaston Lachaille: Imagine this if you can: here is a girl, living in a moldy apartment, decaying walls, worm-ridden furniture, surrounded by filth!
- Honore Lachaille: You're ruining my lunch.
- Gaston Lachaille: Nothing to look forward to but abject poverty. My heart was touched. I wanted to help her. I offered her everything: house, car, servants, clothes - and me.
- Honore Lachaille: And?
- Gaston Lachaille: She turned me down.
- Honore Lachaille: Turned you down?
- Gaston Lachaille: Turned me down!
- Honore Lachaille: Oh, it's impossible.
- Gaston Lachaille: It's not impossible at all. It just happened!
- Honore Lachaille: Obviously, that disgusting apartment she lives in - has driven her mad.
- Gaston Lachaille: Her grandmother was delighted, of course.
- Honore Lachaille: Grandmother?
- Gaston Lachaille: Yes, Mamita. But Gigi, no. No, no, no. Not Gigi. She refused me. *She* turned me down. I was refused, rejected, rebuffed, and - repudiated.
- Honore Lachaille: Well, they're a very peculiar family - with peculiar ideas. I negotiated with them myself once. With me, one casual bit of grazing in another pasture - and the gate was slammed behind me.
- Gaston Lachaille: Whose luncheon are you taking me to today?
- Honore Lachaille: Henri Trouvert.
- Gaston Lachaille: Oh no!
- Honore Lachaille: We have to go! I'm meeting a heavenly creature there.
- Gaston Lachaille: You're still young uncle, aren't you?
- Honore Lachaille: Not compared to her!
- Honore Lachaille: Look at all the captivating / fascinating things there are to do!
- Gaston Lachaille: Name two.
- Honore Lachaille: Look at the pleasures / of the myriad of treasures / we have got!
- Gaston Lachaille: Like what?
- Honore Lachaille: Look at Paris in the spring / when each solitary thing / is more beautiful than ever before! / You can hear every tree / almost saying "Look at me!"
- Gaston Lachaille: What color are the trees?
- Honore Lachaille: Green!
- Gaston Lachaille: What color were they last year?
- Honore Lachaille: Green!
- Gaston Lachaille: And next year?
- Honore Lachaille: Green!
- Gaston Lachaille: It's a bore!
- Honore Lachaille: This story is about a little girl. It could be about any one of those little girls playing there. But it isn't. It's about one in particular. Her name is Gigi.
- Gaston Lachaille: [having broken off with Liane] I've been weighing the idea of going to the country for a while.
- Honore Lachaille: You mean, leave Paris?
- Gaston Lachaille: Yes. Why not?
- Honore Lachaille: Why not? That's the one thing you mustn't do. Do you want people to think you're despondent? Disturbed? If you leave, they will, you know. No, no. That would be snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. No, no, no. For the next few weeks, you should be out every night. Maxim's, Moulin Rouge, Pre Catalan.
- Gaston Lachaille: The Pre Catalan is closed.
- Honore Lachaille: Open it! You must be carefree. Devil-may-care. A different girl every night. Keep them guessing who's next. Play the game. Be gay, extravagant, outrageous!
- [first lines]
- [Honore walks through Paris and greets the viewer]
- Honore Lachaille: Good afternoon! As you see, this lovely city all around us is Paris, and this lovely park is of course the Bois de Boulogne. Who am I? Well, allow me to introduce myself: I am Honore Lachaille. Born: Paris. When...
- [laughs]
- Honore Lachaille: ...not lately. This is 1900, so let's just say not in this century. Circumstances: comfortable. Profession: lover, and collector of beautiful things. Not antiques mind you, younger things.
- [an elderly woman passes by]
- Honore Lachaille: Yes, definitely younger. Married: what for? Now please don't misunderstand. Like everywhere else, most people in Paris get married, but not all. There are some who will not marry, and some who do not marry. But in Paris, those who will not marry are usually men, and those who do not marry are usually women.
- [begins to sing]
- Honore Lachaille: Now for example here we find / Exhibit A, the married kind. / These ladies stood their ground and won / and I salute them, every one. / Here are some others to behold / for whom the bells have never tolled. / Oh, what a poor defenseless pair / in those pathetic rags they wear...
- [Gaston humiliates his lover Liane by manhandling HER lover Sandomir. She goes hysterical and attempts suicide]
- Honore Lachaille: Gaston, my boy! Congratulations! Your first suicide! Oh, what an achievement.
- Honore Lachaille: My dear, dear, dear boy. How did it happen? She changed her mind?
- Gaston Lachaille: Obviously.
- Honore Lachaille: How delicious! Did you have to improve the arrangement?
- Gaston Lachaille: Please, don't be vulgar.
- Honore Lachaille: She looks adorable. So fresh, so *eager* - so young. It's the sophisticated women who get boring so quickly. What can they give you? Everything but surprise. But with someone like Gigi - she can amuse you for months! Oh, I'm so happy for you. I can't wait to tell Manuel.
- Gaston Lachaille: Good night. Good night.
- Honore Lachaille: But think of a race / with your horse in seventh place / and he suddenly begins and he catches up and wins with a roar!
- Gaston Lachaille: It's a bore!
- Honore Lachaille: Life is thrilling as can be!
- Gaston Lachaille: Simply not my cup of tea...
- Honore Lachaille: It's a gay romantic fling!
- Gaston Lachaille: If you like that sort of thing.
- Honore Lachaille: It's intriguing!
- Gaston Lachaille: It's fatiguing!
- Honore Lachaille: It's a game!
- Gaston Lachaille: It's the same dull world where ever you go, whatever place you are at / The earth is round, but everything on it is flat!
- Honore Lachaille: Don't tell me Venice has no lure!
- Gaston Lachaille: Just a town without a sewer.
- Honore Lachaille: The Leaning Tower I adore!
- Gaston Lachaille: Indecision is a bore!
- Honore Lachaille: But think of the thrill of a bull fight in Seville / when the bull is uncontrolled / and he challenges the bold matador!
- Gaston Lachaille: It's a bore!
- Honore Lachaille: Think of lunch beneath the trees!
- Gaston Lachaille: Stop the carriage, if you please!
- Honore Lachaille: You mean you don't want to come?
- Gaston Lachaille: The thought of lunch leaves me numb.
- Honore Lachaille: But I implore...!
- Gaston Lachaille: Oh, no, Uncle! It's a bore!
- [singing about how to deal with Liane]
- Honore Lachaille: Just imagine her chagrin / when she sees you wander in/ And you find her with that slippery señor / What a moment supreme / when she totters with a scream...!
- Gaston Lachaille: What will she do?
- Honore Lachaille: Scream!
- Gaston Lachaille: What did yours do?
- Honore Lachaille: Scream!
- Gaston Lachaille: What do they all do?
- Honore Lachaille: Scream!
- Gaston Lachaille: It's a bore!
- Honore Lachaille: But think of the bliss / of the pleasure you would miss / When she topples in a heap / and you leave her there to weep on the floor...
- Gaston Lachaille: It's a bore!
- Honore Lachaille: You must catch her if you can!
- Manuel: For the dignity of man!
- Honore Lachaille: Take advantage of the chance!
- Manuel: You owe it, sir, to France!
- Honore Lachaille, Manuel: This is war!
- Gaston Lachaille: All right! But it's a bore!