Tony Curtis credited as playing...
Cpl. Paul Hodges
- Paul Hodges: Lieutenant. As a psychologist to a patient, what's wrong with me?
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Well, I don't know you well enough to say.
- Paul Hodges: Well, I do know there's something wrong with me. For an example, here I am a grown man and I still like women.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: There's absolutely nothing abnormal about a man liking women, Corporal. But there is a limit.
- Paul Hodges: What do you do after you catch the limit? You throw the next one back?
- Paul Hodges: Marvin, when you're in Paris with Sandra you're not there for yourself, you represent 104 men. You're obligated to see that we enjoy ourselves.
- Pvt. Marvin Brewer: I'll do my best.
- Paul Hodges: I hope it's good enough. Because you have to live up to the expectations of every man in this outfit, and you know what they expect.
- Pvt. Marvin Brewer: I'm only human.
- Paul Hodges: That may not be enough. This is going to take a giant among men.
- Paul Hodges: If the orders were to ruin my furlough, you've succeeded.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Whether you believe it or not, we wanted you to enjoy yourself.
- Paul Hodges: Lieutenant, how do you think I can enjoy myself when every time I turn around, you're standing there?
- Paul Hodges: Come on, Lieutenant, let's level with each other. Why the storm troopers, why everything?
- Lt. Vicki Loren: The government feels that Sandra should be protected.
- Paul Hodges: Suppose Sandra doesn't want to be protected. You keep acting like she's some sort of wildlife.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Oh, it's not Sandra whom we consider wildlife. You see, we're trying to protect her from a man who's personnel file reads like a Stag movie.
- Paul Hodges: You read the file?
- Lt. Vicki Loren: All of it.
- Paul Hodges: Well, I guess there's nothing to add.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: We're trying to see to that.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: There are textbooks written about men like you.
- Paul Hodges: Freud, humanity drowning in an ocean of sex. I have a suggestion for you, Lieutenant. Why don't you quit being a lifeguard and jump in the water with the rest of us slobs? Or are you afraid you won't know how to swim?
- Lt. Vicki Loren: I don't wanna see what you have to show me. Now let me go. Do you realize - do you realize what you're doing? You'll get 10 years of hard labor for this. Now let me go. Let me go or I'll scream.
- Paul Hodges: Go ahead scream. They don't understand a word of English.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Take your hands off me.
- Paul Hodges: Shut up.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: You're talking to an officer, Corporal.
- Paul Hodges: Shut up, sir.
- Paul Hodges: You made quite an impression with the father and son.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Oh?
- Paul Hodges: They said you were clean, quiet, good-natured. And had a loyal face.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Swell.
- Paul Hodges: All the qualities of a good wife.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Sounds more like a poodle.