Janet Leigh credited as playing...
Lt. Vicki Loren
- Liz Baker: Oh, come off it, Lieutenant, admit it! The guy bugs you.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: As far as I'm concerned, a bug is something you find crawling in your bed.
- Liz Baker: I rest my case.
- Paul Hodges: Lieutenant. As a psychologist to a patient, what's wrong with me?
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Well, I don't know you well enough to say.
- Paul Hodges: Well, I do know there's something wrong with me. For an example, here I am a grown man and I still like women.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: There's absolutely nothing abnormal about a man liking women, Corporal. But there is a limit.
- Paul Hodges: What do you do after you catch the limit? You throw the next one back?
- Colonel Leland: We asked you here, not to suggest furloughs, but to come up with some psychological gimmick which will take their minds off furloughs.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: But do we want to take their minds off furloughs?
- Colonel Leland: Lieutenant, I can see we're not all firing on the same target.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: From the morale standpoint alone, consider how active their minds would be just thinking up this perfect furlough.
- Colonel Leland: Hmm.
- Maj. Collins: Hmm?
- Colonel Leland: Mm-hmm.
- Maj. Collins: Frankly, after what I've read about Miss Roca - I mean, millionaires, movie stars, that sort of thing - I'd rather hope that she wouldn't give him a second thought.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: I'm not concerned about her second thought. It's the first one that worries me.
- Colonel Leland: When you research the behavior patterns of the American soldier, how did you leave him out? He's your leading character!
- Lt. Vicki Loren: It's very interesting. Obviously an over active libido.
- Colonel Leland: Obviously. But how do we inactivate it?
- Liz Baker: Whenever the studio sends out one of their stars, like Sandra, they send along someone from publicity. In addition to publicist, I also play nurse maid and mother confessor. Mr. Franklin insists on a watchdog for Sandra. You see, she doesn't understand English very well and if anybody talks too fast, she's liable to say yes when she should've said no. You follow?
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Mm-hmm. And so you say no for her.
- Liz Baker: Constantly.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Speaking for Sandra, I think you better start brushing up on saying no.
- Liz Baker: Speaking for Sandra, I don't know how long I can hold out.
- Maj. Collins: Seems Cooperative enough.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Yes, he does.
- Maj. Collins: And quite sincere.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: I noticed that.
- Maj. Collins: You trust him?
- Lt. Vicki Loren: No.
- Maj. Collins: Neither do I.
- Paul Hodges: If the orders were to ruin my furlough, you've succeeded.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Whether you believe it or not, we wanted you to enjoy yourself.
- Paul Hodges: Lieutenant, how do you think I can enjoy myself when every time I turn around, you're standing there?
- Paul Hodges: Come on, Lieutenant, let's level with each other. Why the storm troopers, why everything?
- Lt. Vicki Loren: The government feels that Sandra should be protected.
- Paul Hodges: Suppose Sandra doesn't want to be protected. You keep acting like she's some sort of wildlife.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Oh, it's not Sandra whom we consider wildlife. You see, we're trying to protect her from a man who's personnel file reads like a Stag movie.
- Paul Hodges: You read the file?
- Lt. Vicki Loren: All of it.
- Paul Hodges: Well, I guess there's nothing to add.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: We're trying to see to that.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: There are textbooks written about men like you.
- Paul Hodges: Freud, humanity drowning in an ocean of sex. I have a suggestion for you, Lieutenant. Why don't you quit being a lifeguard and jump in the water with the rest of us slobs? Or are you afraid you won't know how to swim?
- Lt. Vicki Loren: I don't wanna see what you have to show me. Now let me go. Do you realize - do you realize what you're doing? You'll get 10 years of hard labor for this. Now let me go. Let me go or I'll scream.
- Paul Hodges: Go ahead scream. They don't understand a word of English.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Take your hands off me.
- Paul Hodges: Shut up.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: You're talking to an officer, Corporal.
- Paul Hodges: Shut up, sir.
- Maj. Collins: Where were you?
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Out, sir.
- Maj. Collins: Out. I presume when you say "Out," you mean unconscious?
- Lt. Vicki Loren: I was in a wine vat, sir.
- Paul Hodges: You made quite an impression with the father and son.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Oh?
- Paul Hodges: They said you were clean, quiet, good-natured. And had a loyal face.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Swell.
- Paul Hodges: All the qualities of a good wife.
- Lt. Vicki Loren: Sounds more like a poodle.