Taylor Holmes: King Stefan

Sleeping Beauty

King Stefan

Maleficent: Listen well, all of you.
[clangs her scepter against the floor]
Maleficent: The princess shall indeed grow in grace and beauty, beloved by all who know her. *But*... before the sun sets on her 16th birthday, she shall prick her finger - on the spindle of a spinning wheel - and DIE!
Queen Leah: [clutching the baby Aurora] Oh no!
[Maleficent laughs]
King Stefan: Seize that creature!
Maleficent: Stand back, you fools!
[laughing, she disappears in a burst of green fire]
Flora: Don't despair, Your Majesties. Merryweather still has *her* gift to give.
King Stefan: Then, she can undo this fearful curse?
Merryweather: Oh no, sire.
Flora: Maleficent's powers are far too great.
Fauna: But she can help.

King Hubert: To the wedding!
King Stefan: Now, be reasonable, Hubert. After all, Aurora knows nothing about all this.
King Hubert: Well?
King Stefan: Well, it may come as quite a shock.
King Hubert: [Spits out his wine] Shock? My Phillip a shock? What's wrong with my Phillip?
King Stefan: Nothing, Hubert. I only meant...
King Hubert: Why doesn't your daughter like my son?
King Stefan: Now, now...
King Hubert: I'm not so sure my son likes your daughter!
King Stefan: Now, see here...
King Hubert: I'm not so sure my grandchildren want you for a grandfather!
King Stefan: Why you, you, unreasonable, pompous, blustering old windbag!
King Hubert: Unreasonable, pompous... En garde, sir!
[Reaches for his sword, but grabs a fish by mistake]
King Stefan: I warn you, Hubert. This means war!
King Hubert: [Fighting] Forward! For honor! For country! For...
[Realizes he's fighting with a fish; they both start laughing]
King Hubert: What's this all about, anyway?
King Stefan: Nothing, Hubert. Absolutely nothing.
King Hubert: Those children are bound to fall in love with each other!
King Stefan: Precisely. And as for grandchildren, I'll have the royal woodcarvers start work on the cradle tomorrow.
King Hubert: Splendid! King-sized, of course.
King Stefan: Certainly! To the Woodcarvers' Guild!

King Hubert: The plans!
[Servant presents King Stefan with blueprints]
King Hubert: Well, what do you think? Nothing elaborate, of course. Forty bedrooms, dining hall... honeymoon cottage, really.
King Stefan: You - you mean you're building it already?
King Hubert: Built, man! Finished! Lovebirds can move in tomorrow.
King Stefan: Tomorrow? But Hubert, they're not even married yet.
King Hubert: Ha ha, we'll take care of that tonight. To the wedding!
King Stefan: Now, hold on, Hubert. I haven't even *seen* my daughter yet, and you're taking her away from me?
King Hubert: Getting my Phillip, aren't you?
King Stefan: Yes, but...
King Hubert: Want to see our grandchildren, don't we?
King Stefan: Of course, but uh...
King Hubert: Well, there's no time to lose. Getting on in years, ha ha ha. To the wedding!

[Queen Leah awakens and Stefan yawns and awakes and wakes Hubert up and clears his throat]
King Stefan: Oh, ah, forgive me, Hubert, the wine... Now, uh you were saying?
King Hubert: I was? Oh, yes.
[he clears his throat]
King Hubert: Well, after all, Stefan, this is the fourteenth century.
King Stefan: Yes, you said that a moment ago.
King Hubert: Well, to come right to the point, my son Phillip says he's going to marry...
[Hubert is interrupted by a fanfare, or to be more precise, by the first notes from the royal national anthem of the Kingdom of France, adapted by Peter Tchaikovsky. The fairies watch the scene from a balcony as Aurora and Phillip appear arm in arm, walking down the stairs from above.]
King Stefan: It's Aurora, she's here!
King Hubert: [wipes his eyes, mouth open] And Phillip!
[Aurora and Phillip kneel down before the throne. Aurora then fondly embraces her parents]
King Hubert: [to Phillip] What does this mean, boy? I don't...
[Aurora kisses Hubert on the cheek]
King Hubert: But, but...
[Aurora and Phillip start dancing]
King Hubert: [shakes his head] I don't understand.