Joe E. Brown credited as playing...
Osgood Fielding III
- [last lines]
- Jerry: Oh no you don't! Osgood, I'm gonna level with you. We can't get married at all.
- Osgood: Why not?
- Jerry: Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde.
- Osgood: Doesn't matter.
- Jerry: I smoke! I smoke all the time!
- Osgood: I don't care.
- Jerry: Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've been living with a saxophone player.
- Osgood: I forgive you.
- Jerry: [tragically] I can never have children!
- Osgood: We can adopt some.
- Jerry: But you don't understand, Osgood! Ohh...
- [Jerry finally gives up and pulls off his wig]
- Jerry: [normal voice] I'm a man!
- Osgood: [shrugs] Well, nobody's perfect!
- [Jerry looks on with disbelief as Osgood continues smiling with indifference. Fade out]
- Osgood: You know, I've always been *fascinated* by show business.
- Daphne: Is that so?
- Osgood: Yes. As a matter of fact it's cost my family quite a bit of money.
- Daphne: Oh, you invest in shows?
- Osgood: Showgirls. I've been married seven or eight times.
- Daphne: You're not sure?
- Osgood: Mama is keeping score.
- Osgood: [to the elevator operator] All right, driver, once around the park, slowly, and keep your eyes on the road.