Howard McNear credited as playing...
Floyd Lawson • Floyd Colby • Floyd, The Barber
- Floyd Lawson: Speak softly and carry a big stick. That's true, too. It would work well in a gang fight. Swing it around, you're bound to hit something.
- [Goober thinks he has whiplash]
- Goober Pyle: Floyd made the diagnosis.
- Andy Taylor: Floyd, what do you know about whiplash?
- Floyd Lawson: What do you mean? A barber does a lot of work around the back of the neck.
- [after a haircut at Floyd's]
- Andy Taylor: Floyd.
- Floyd Lawson: What's the matter?
- Andy Taylor: My sideburns.
- Floyd Lawson: Your sideburns - what's the matter with your sideburns?
- Andy Taylor: Why, they're both even.
- Floyd Lawson: Well, I'll be dogged. How'd that happen?
- Andy Taylor: I declare, Floyd, I believe you're getting the hang of it. And looka there - they're the right length and everything.
- Floyd Lawson: If I keep this up I'll probably end up with a barber's claw from holding the shears all day.