The Beatniks

If there's anyone out there expecting to see a film about the Fifties counterculture prototypes, skip this one by. Skip it by for that reason and on general principles.

The Beatniks is about a gang of punks who bully and rob people for kicks and one of them, Tony Travis is discovered in true Hollywood tradition in a roadside dive by an agent. He's got a decent singing voice and the agent promises to make him the next Elvis.

But our lug-nut of a hero instead of saying goodbye Daddy-O in true beatnik fashion, doesn't want to lose the old gang. And the old gang don't want to let him go. Especially Peter Breck, a twisted psycho with some gay leanings who's crushing out on Travis big time.

Despite this film where he gives an over the top performance like Jack Palance on amphetamines, Peter Breck was the only one in this no name cast to have anything resembling a career.

The Beatniks is a film without a lot going for it. This was one of those drive-in flicks which one could get down to serious business at the drive-in without missing anything of importance.

That is one song that never fails to crack me up.

Beatniks anyone? See any? There are none to be found here. Tony Travis plays Eddy Crane; rebel and small-time hood, but also sings like a pansy femme?? This definitely ruins any credibility since you really can't straddle the fence. Either tell Iris to shut up, or sing "With a Look"; you can't do BOTH! That audition scene is hilarious getting to see hardcore, tough Eddy crooning sentimentality. HA HA HA HA!!!

Who else shamed themselves? Peter Breck as Mooney. Ham anyone? He takes the manic psycho character to probably the only entertainment in this flop. It's tough to be scared of someone who threatens you with "I'm gonna MOON you!!". His soliloquy regarding the barkeep is also priceless scene followed by on odd whiny fit. Then there's annoying broad Iris who's dancing can scar even those unprepared for random corkscrew gyrations. Mr. Morrissey taught me that to succeed as a talent agent, get in an auto accident, call for a tow, and listen to the guy near the jukebox!! Then there's a dive called Charlie's run by a guy named Gus(?).

Despite this corny premise, maybe the makers of Beatniks were trying to make a statement about life; it's not all wavy gravy and the man always square forcing the minds of our best generation to conform to antiquated norms while suppressing self expression. Rail against the establishment!! Whoops, slipped into Beatnik mode there. Well, someone had to because this film sure doesn't!!

"I KILLED THAT FAT BARKEEP!"

It's true...it's not what you say, but how you say it.

This has to be one of my favorite MST3K episodes of all time. And a reason why Paul Frees has stuck to animation and cartoon voice overs, since this was his first and last live action feature film he has ever done.

Though the movie is suppose to be a serious musical/crime drama, I sure laughed my head off over it, especially with Joel and the bots there to save it. It deals with an Elvis clone named Eddy Crane whom hits the top when a music agent and a sexy blond woman discovers his so-called "talents". However, his so-called "beatnik" friends want him to come back to him and stop singing, especially a nutcase named Mooney, whoms immortal lines were "One word outta you and I am gonna moon ya!" "MOON, YOU!". That part right there cracks me up.

And another thing, why did Paul Frees decided to call this movie "Beatniks"? It is a gang of juvenile deliquents (perhaps special ed rejects?) whom like to get into trouble. What was Paul Frees on when doing this?

Oh well, at least Frees learned his lesson here, while there are some much worse so-called "talents" whom have not.

First, a caveat: There are no actual beatniks in this film. Nary a beret or black turtleneck or bongo to be seen. As for the movie itself, to steal a line from Roger Ebert, "The Beatniks" is transcendently bad. It soars above ordinary badness as the eagle soars above the mosquito.

The plot is a common one of the era: kid from the wrong side of the tracks is spotted by a talent agent, but alas, his crazy friends ruin it all for him. To call the characters two-dimensional is an insult to planar surfaces. To call the plot threadbare is an insult to rags. To call ... Oh, never mind. You get the idea.

The entire production screams, "high school drama club project," though the actors playing the teens are a bit long in the tooth for the youth set, dig it? MST3000 had great fun with it, though, and thus it's worth a watch.

This is my largest complaint; no Beatnik culture, no snapping fingers and performance poetry, marijuana, not even the stereotypical black clothes and sunglasses -- how can you get that part wrong? Instead the "Beatniks" are mostly your typical 50s squares and range to a geek-greaser (Mooney) and the lone woman in the group, think of a "Grease" Frenchy-Rizzo mix.

Since, the majority of the plot of this movie revolves around Eddie's musical ability the audience gets plenty of solo performances. The music is fine for a low budget movie like "Beatniks", nothing you will remember past the end credits. Again, even when Eddie was a "Beatnik" he wasn't singing Beatnik music, more like Mel Torme-like crooning.

Other glaring mistakes in this movie is the continuity (see the GOOFS section) and the character of Moon is just ridiculous, with a catch phrase that will live on forever (I'm gonna MOON ya'!). The Eddie character is a little annoying in his inconsistency -- is he a goon with a heart of gold or just a jerk? All in all this is a very, very bad movie.