Invasion of the Neptune Men

The best way to see this movie is on Mystery Science Theater 3000. If you have ever watched MST 3000, you know that the MST crew take some of the worst movies ever made and make them fun. Along with the movie you get a running commentary of smart remarks, and references, that you would make if you had to see the movie and you couldn't get your money back! If you have not seen MST 3000, I think it is still on the Sci Fi channel. If not watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 The Movie. If bad movies are one of your guilty pleasures you will enjoy the movie MST style.

Where to begin? The soap-bubble thin plot? The lame "hero"? The annoying little kids? The repetitive and strafing footage filled battles? I honestly don't know. This film fails on so many levels, you can't really pinpoint what makes it the horror that it is. I don't think Mike and the Bots were even able to cover half the bad points that occured in the movie. The plot in the movie seems to continuosly go around in circles, with the evil bulletheaded aliens appearing, the scientists trying to look worried, the children in hot pants running, and Space Chief coming to the rescue. Sometimes we can't be sure exactly what is going on; all we know is that it's bad. So it comes to the final "climactic" battle, blah blah, the bad guys are defeated after a lengthy missile sequence, yadda yadda, and you're just glad it's over.

All right, what the #$^# could ANYBODY be thinking that made this movie. It's actually worse than "Prince of Space." The dubbing on the kids is far more annoying than Krankor's laugh. Oh yeah, the reason I'm comparing these two is because they're the SAME movie!

This movie isn't all bad, though. It does have some nice cameos, such as the one made by the Fürher himself, Adolf Hitler. Plus it introduces us to stop-short-from-ten-feet-away fighting.

Well, I'm going to seek revenge on the idiots who made this movie. See you later.

Remember "Prince of Space"? MST3K # 816? Okay. This is basically a remake of that. Instead of Prince of Space, though, we get Space Chief, another effeminent, hopping hero. Instead of the chicken-men of Krankor, we get mute, bullet-headed robots who have trouble walking and fall down at the tiniest hint of danger. And instead of two annoying, gravely voiced, tiny-shorts-wearing kids we get SIX annoying, gravely voiced, tiny-shorts-wearing kids. Slow the whole thing down, add lots of scenes of Japanese people talking in poorly lit rooms, and actual war footage instead of special effects, and you've got one of the worse movies ever made. I know that phrase is over-used and has little or no impact anymore, but this movie really is almost unbearable. It's amazing! It's joyless, depressing, AND technically inept!

Enjoy the Hitler building.

Wow! This movie (I use the term loosely) really, really sucked. Thankfully I saw it with Mike and the 'bots...and they could barely make it through this abortion. I could barely make it through. Waaaaaay too much stock footage, waaaaay to many annoying kids. What made "Prince of Space" at least mildly amusing was the phantom of Krankor. At least he had a personality. The neptune suppositories down even talk.