Vulcan, Son of Jupiter

This medium-scale peplum has a problem: Venus. And the problem with Venus is that she's a no-good tramp, whom no man or god can resist because she's so beautiful. (It's actually kind of hard to tell just how beautiful the actress is; one suspects she really would look rather ordinary if you scraped away the ton of makeup.) Apparently even the gods can only take so much scandalous behavior, so in order to "tame" Venus, it is decided to marry her off. Yeah, that'll work. The main candidates are Vulcan and Mars; Mercury, played rather conspicuously as gay, is obviously not in the running. When the squabbling between these rivals (not helped by the meddling of Gordon Mitchell's scheming Pluto) gets to be too much, Jupiter banishes the lot of them to Earth, where they must contend with mortals, Lizard Men, armies, barbarians, and so forth.

This isn't exactly a "good" movie, but it's a fun peplum, in large part because much of it takes place in the realms of the gods, where modest but nice sets, garish colored lighting, and lots of dry ice make a stylish impression a la (if hardly in the same league as) Bava's "Hercules in the Haunted World." Some will argue there's not enough "action," but things move fast enough. And frankly I think the dullest thing about these movies is that they often spend so much time having extras march around and have unconvincing sword fights in interchangeable desert-type settings. So this movie's emphasis instead on fantasy and intrigue is an improvement, in my book.

As Vulcan, Iloosh Khoshabe (who had a career in Iranian films before and after his run of Italian muscleman roles) has a fine physique, but he's a pretty colorless actor. Perhaps to make up for that lack, most of the other actors ham mercilessly, abetted (in the dubbed print I saw) by some comically stilted English dialogue. As Mars, Roger Browne also spends the whole movie shirtless to good effect. Annie Gorassini's Venus pouts and poses (albeit with a very 1960s hairdo) in an entertainingly campy fashion. As the "nice girl" Vulcan ultimately prefers, buxom Bella Cortez nonetheless performs a "dance" where she just kinda struts around in a bikini, at one point simply lying down in front of our hero and writhing.

Well, nobody watches a movie like this for the choreography...or the acting. Given the leads' natural attributes and minimal clothing (plus the whole plot being motivated by Venus' allure and insatiable appetites), this is a slightly sexier peplum than most.

I wonder if this movie was shot back-to-back with "The Seven Tasks of Ali Baba," because it involves the same director and much of the same cast. In any case, I saw there were several versions of "Vulcan" on YouTube, and watched the one that had the best-quality print in terms of definition and color (though it wasn't the most complete re: running time). That was a good decision, because this movie's silly charms are almost entirely visual. I wavered between giving this a 5 and a 6, but if it had been seen in a washed-out, 3rd-generation TV print, it probably wouldn't have earned more than a 4.

Once again, blue-eyed blonde Venus (Annie Gorassini) has fled from the Olympus to Earth - to enjoy the company of a man. Jupiter sends a dart against Adonis, who falls dead at Venus' feet. Mars insinuates that Jupiter is afraid of Venus, "the most beautiful woman on Earth". Juno, Jupiter's wife and Mercury insist with Jupiter (Furio Meniconi) that Venus herself should be punished. But Jupiter hesitates about to whom Venus should be married. Jupiter decides she shall marry her soon to one of the candidates: Maciste (Iloosh Khoshabe as Rod Flash), a mortal working in Vulcano's cave, and Mars (Roger Browne), the god of War. But when the two get into a fight about this, Jupiter postpones the decision; first they are both to live without their divine powers for two months as punishment. Then Mars abducts Venus, allied with Pluto and Eris, and works out a plan involving a bamboo tower high enough for the soldiers of the Thracian King to attack Jupiter in the high Olympus.

The movie starts really fun: At the beginning Vulcan has to go through on Earth is to deal with "lizardmen" who are normal people in the cheapest costumes. But after that, unfortunately, it goes steeply downhill. Funny encounters and fights are also missing; it's just enough to beat up a few cavemen. The "plan" of the villains never makes any decisive progress, so that they are degraded to a completely static existence, and Vulcan's ramblings also seem senseless and aimless. Here is a real peplum fight between giants of strength and evil. Usually, in peplums, the gods tend to be background characters, influencing and directing the destinies of the heroes of ancient times. This time, it is the opposite; a story about battles between the most powerful in the universe. The leading role was by the hunk Iloosh Khoshabe was born in in Iran (1932-2012). He was a mediocre actor, known for The Seven Tasks of Ali Baba (1962), The Invincible Brothers Maciste (1964) and Hercules, Samson & Ulysses (1963). Costars by Sword and Sandals regular Roger Browne who was a popular as well as untalented player at the time, a mediocre actor who couldn't carry a rickety product like this. He starred some spy movies , such as: Rififi in Amsterdam, Operazione poker, Operation Mogador and 'Superseven chiama Cairo' that was the previous entry of Superseven also directed by Lenzi. And special mention for the foloowing: the ever gorgeous Bella Cortez who shows off in the usual dance, in fact the Cuban Chelo was a cabaret artist when she was discovered for the cinema; the very beautiful and erotic Annie Gorassini (8½ by Fellini) , the American actor and bodybuilder Gordon Mitchell (Maciste the Colossus,), who starred in many Speghetti Westerns, and comic relief is provided by the little guy Salvatore Fumari who played several Peplum in similar roles.

Vulcano, figlio di Giove(1962) stans out the brilliant and luminous cinematography by Mario Parapetti shot on location in Iran and Lacio, Rome, Italy. As well as the evocative and catching musical score by Marcello Giombini. The motion picture was average but professionally directed by italian filmmaker Emmimmo Salvi .This craftsman wrote and directed all kinds of genres , such as : Peplum/Adventures : Seven Adventures of Ali Baba or Le 7 fatiche di Alì Babà , Titan versus Vulcanus , david and Goliath , Giant of Metropolis or Il gigante di Metropolis , Treasure of the Petrified Forest , Sinbad and the seven Saracens ; Spaghetti : Wanted Johnny Texas , Three bullets for Ringo ; Monster movie : Un gangster venuto da Brooklyn ; Eurospy : None But the Lonely Spy . Rating : 5.5/10. Regular but acceptable Peplum , only for hardcore aficionados and completists. It remains an overall unfortunately mediocre overall impression.

This is now my fourth encounter with a movie involving Italian film-maker Emimmo Salvi – 2 of which proved positive but the remainder were not; consequently, I cannot say that I am looking forward to catch up with a fifth title...which is bound to be the Spaghetti Western, WANTED JOHNNY Texas (1967)! Anyway, the film under review is yet another peplum dealing with mythological Greek gods and must surely rank as one of the weirdest ever made – sometimes breaching a level of awfulness that almost equals the one displayed by Luigi Cozzi's more inventive HERCULES revamps of the 1980s!

Rod Flash (a pseudonym for Iloosh Khoshabe!) plays the titular blacksmith (the Roman god of fire) forging weapons for the likes of Achilles in the Olympian foundry who is improbably involved in a divine love triangle with the nymphomaniac Venus (played by Annie Gorassini being, quite evidently, the Roman goddess of love!; her initial tryst with Adonis is summarily ended by a lightning bolt thrown by an angered Jupiter!) and Mars (for being the Roman god of war and impersonated by future "Argoman" Roger Browne, he is pretty ineffectual in combat and has to seek the help of humans to reach his vengeful ambitions!). The ensuing struggle angers the king of gods, Jupiter (the Roman equivalent of the Greek almighty, Zeus) who sends them all to sort out their romantic issues on Earth! Lamely, despite all manner of wild-eyed characters and wild creatures, the conflict is finally resolved by Jupiter's anti-climactic vocal admonishment from the skies after all! For what it is worth, among the other inhabitants on Mount Olympus that put in an incidental appearance here are Pluto (incarnated by Salvi regular Gordon Mitchell and prone as ever to maniacal cackling!) and Mercury (played by character actor Isarco Ravaioli).

On the earthly side of the fence, Vulcan is abetted by Bella Cortez (playing his new love interest Aetna and the protagonist of a surprisingly sensual dance routine that for once justifies these normally terminally bland additions to the peplum stew), a pony-riding dwarf (ingenious or what?) and a sleepy-eyed Neptune and his Morlock-like minions! Hindering his progress, so to speak, are a Thracian warlord (who is somehow convinced by Mars to build a tower all the way up to Olympus with the intent of besieging it!) and his awfully silly-looking fanged lizard men!! This unheralded and (mostly unintentionally) enjoyable viewing came by way of a very battered, highly washed-out English-dubbed print available on a "You Tube" channel dedicated to this most maligned of film subgenres.

Trouble develops in Olympus when "Venus, the Goddess of Love" (Annie Gorassini) is scolded by her father, "Jupiter, the God of Lightning" (Furio Meniconi) for her promiscuous ways. To remedy this continual problem, Jupiter announces his intention to marry her off to either "Mars, the God of War" (Roger Browne) or "Vulcan, the God of Fire and Blacksmithing" (Iloosh Khoshabe). Yet rather than wait a month or so for Jupiter's decision, Venus decides to take matters into her own hands and joins with Mars and "Pluto, the God of Darkness" (Gordon Mitchell) in an attempted revolt. And since both Mars and Vulcan have been cast to earth pending Jupiter's determination, that's where Mars begins his disloyal operation. Now rather than reveal any more of this movie and risk spoiling it for those who haven't seen it, I will just say that this was an okay "Sword & Sandal" film for the most part. Unfortunately, it suffered greatly from being rather incoherent and confusing at times due to a lack of sufficient character development. It's also quite possible that the fact that this movie was originally produced in Italian and dubbed into English may not have helped either. Likewise, a few of the costumes could have used some improvement as well. On the plus side, I thought that both Annie Gorassini and Bella Cortez (as the sea nymph, "Aetna") were rather striking which certainly didn't hurt matters. Even so, neither of them were able to overcome the disjointed script or plot and as a result I rate this movie as slightly below average.

For folks who have no lives and avoid deep thinking, the sweaty Italian beefcake films of the late '50s/early '60s rank right up there with the Japanese "Godzilla" series and Mexican masked-wrestler epics as the ultimate in brainless entertainment. I'm not alone in this conclusion: Studies from Bulgaria in the 1970s provide the proof. They've got the data; let's not argue.

If you hanker for bad dubbing, rotten special effects, and ridiculous plot lines, this genre is your meat. Universally, they feature poorly staged action scenes - always a bad sign in action movies - and richly saturated color that jumps off the screen and toys sadistically with human eyeballs.

"Vulcan, Son of Jupiter" is a better-than-usual entry for one simple reason: There are a lot of half-naked women running around, too. Set in Bronze Age Greece, it details a war among the gods of Olympus over who's gonna snag the tail of Venus. Or Aphrodite - can't remember exactly; she's the Goddess of Love, anyway. There's fighting, infighting, scheming and a very brave midget. Chariots... yelling. Y'know.

It stars a guy named Rod Flash. Of course, that's his real name... And I'm Queen Wilhelmina of the Netherlands. Doesn't matter. He's got a bod that could sell a whooole lotta Blueboy subscriptions. In fact, I wonder how these guys manage stay so oily. Was there a pec-lubrication specialist on the set?

One bright spot is a beguiling showgirl-style dance by the astoundingly sexy Bella Cortez. Could any other woman so mesmerize with the gemstone jiggling in her navel? Whatever happened to this beautiful Cuban actress? At the end of her dance, the god Mercury shows up and tugs playfully at a jewel on her scanty costume; the quick gesture leaves a strangely potent erotic jolt.

Interestingly, most of the over-the-hill bodybuilders in peplum were Americans who hung out at Gold's Gym in Santa Monica. Gordon Scott actually had a brief Hollywood career - as the first Technicolor Tarzan. Steve Reeves was... well... he was in a Ed Wood film in the mid-'50s. Gordon Mitchell, who's in "Vulcan" and was a kind of poor man's Charlton Heston, was the best actor of the lot, with a career mostly in Italy lasting until the early 2000s (He played the catamite-hungry gladiator in Fellini's "Satyricon").