Vulcan, Son of Jupiter

The Roman Gods take center stage in this one with an old fashioned Olympic triangle taking place at the home of the Gods. Venus, the God of beauty and love is making a play for Vulcan and she's got him panting hot and heavy after her. That upsets Mars and Jupiter banishes all three to earth to sort it all out.

Vulcan finds himself a nice earthly mortal who rivals Venus for her beauty, but he still doesn't like Mars. And Mars has got himself a Tower of Babel like scheme whereby he allies himself with some earthly despots to build a tower as tall as Olympus. Can Vulcan stop him in time from challenging Jupiter himself?

The Greeks and Romans did not believe in one all seeing and all pervasive spirit like Deity. They liked their immortals with all the, dare I say it, human frailties built in. The idea for the film is an interesting one, but the roles would require some classically trained actors, not people who are used to peplum spectacles.

This movie was mostly unavailable until the 1980s when it was released on video during the "put everything onto video" craze. It was made in 1962 during the Peplum era and then sort of disappeared. It has an OK story but is only 1 h 16 mins long which didn't fit the mould for TV or theaters. However, it has musclemen, great female stars , lizard men and lots of action. There are many good copies on Y/T, so watch and enjoy. Roger Browne told me this should have been distributed better. Larry Anderson.

Trouble develops in Olympus when "Venus, the Goddess of Love" (Annie Gorassini) is scolded by her father, "Jupiter, the God of Lightning" (Furio Meniconi) for her promiscuous ways. To remedy this continual problem, Jupiter announces his intention to marry her off to either "Mars, the God of War" (Roger Browne) or "Vulcan, the God of Fire and Blacksmithing" (Iloosh Khoshabe). Yet rather than wait a month or so for Jupiter's decision, Venus decides to take matters into her own hands and joins with Mars and "Pluto, the God of Darkness" (Gordon Mitchell) in an attempted revolt. And since both Mars and Vulcan have been cast to earth pending Jupiter's determination, that's where Mars begins his disloyal operation. Now rather than reveal any more of this movie and risk spoiling it for those who haven't seen it, I will just say that this was an okay "Sword & Sandal" film for the most part. Unfortunately, it suffered greatly from being rather incoherent and confusing at times due to a lack of sufficient character development. It's also quite possible that the fact that this movie was originally produced in Italian and dubbed into English may not have helped either. Likewise, a few of the costumes could have used some improvement as well. On the plus side, I thought that both Annie Gorassini and Bella Cortez (as the sea nymph, "Aetna") were rather striking which certainly didn't hurt matters. Even so, neither of them were able to overcome the disjointed script or plot and as a result I rate this movie as slightly below average.

This medium-scale peplum has a problem: Venus. And the problem with Venus is that she's a no-good tramp, whom no man or god can resist because she's so beautiful. (It's actually kind of hard to tell just how beautiful the actress is; one suspects she really would look rather ordinary if you scraped away the ton of makeup.) Apparently even the gods can only take so much scandalous behavior, so in order to "tame" Venus, it is decided to marry her off. Yeah, that'll work. The main candidates are Vulcan and Mars; Mercury, played rather conspicuously as gay, is obviously not in the running. When the squabbling between these rivals (not helped by the meddling of Gordon Mitchell's scheming Pluto) gets to be too much, Jupiter banishes the lot of them to Earth, where they must contend with mortals, Lizard Men, armies, barbarians, and so forth.

This isn't exactly a "good" movie, but it's a fun peplum, in large part because much of it takes place in the realms of the gods, where modest but nice sets, garish colored lighting, and lots of dry ice make a stylish impression a la (if hardly in the same league as) Bava's "Hercules in the Haunted World." Some will argue there's not enough "action," but things move fast enough. And frankly I think the dullest thing about these movies is that they often spend so much time having extras march around and have unconvincing sword fights in interchangeable desert-type settings. So this movie's emphasis instead on fantasy and intrigue is an improvement, in my book.

As Vulcan, Iloosh Khoshabe (who had a career in Iranian films before and after his run of Italian muscleman roles) has a fine physique, but he's a pretty colorless actor. Perhaps to make up for that lack, most of the other actors ham mercilessly, abetted (in the dubbed print I saw) by some comically stilted English dialogue. As Mars, Roger Browne also spends the whole movie shirtless to good effect. Annie Gorassini's Venus pouts and poses (albeit with a very 1960s hairdo) in an entertainingly campy fashion. As the "nice girl" Vulcan ultimately prefers, buxom Bella Cortez nonetheless performs a "dance" where she just kinda struts around in a bikini, at one point simply lying down in front of our hero and writhing.

Well, nobody watches a movie like this for the choreography...or the acting. Given the leads' natural attributes and minimal clothing (plus the whole plot being motivated by Venus' allure and insatiable appetites), this is a slightly sexier peplum than most.

I wonder if this movie was shot back-to-back with "The Seven Tasks of Ali Baba," because it involves the same director and much of the same cast. In any case, I saw there were several versions of "Vulcan" on YouTube, and watched the one that had the best-quality print in terms of definition and color (though it wasn't the most complete re: running time). That was a good decision, because this movie's silly charms are almost entirely visual. I wavered between giving this a 5 and a 6, but if it had been seen in a washed-out, 3rd-generation TV print, it probably wouldn't have earned more than a 4.

Two muscle men: Gordon Mitchell is Pluto this time and Rod Flash is Vulcan! Monsters are terrorizing the people of the land and Vulcan must save them before Mt. Olympus falls to ruin.

This one does have enough cheese to make the bread taste good. It's dumb enough to be entertaining, yet bad enough that most people will not watch.

This one could have been a good movie if was done right. I'm not advocating a remake but if the film makers would have done this one properly it could have been almost as good as Clash of the Titans 1981. Sadly this one didn't have the money pumped into it to create a film as good as "Clash"... it had the potential though.

4/10