Paul Lynde credited as playing...
Harry McAfee
- Doris McAfee: You know these adolescents! Kim'll lose face!
- Harry McAfee: And if I don't get him out that's not all she'll...
- [after Kim has dyed her hair]
- Harry McAfee: You dare defy your mother?
- Kim McAfee: Well, it's my hair.
- Harry McAfee: Not till you're 21!
- Harry McAfee: Me? On Ed Sullivan?
- Doris McAfee: Oh, I'd die! What would I wear?
- Harry McAfee: Gee, Ed Sullivan. He's my favorite human. That's why I decided to let Kim go on in the first place. Me? On the Ed Sullivan Show?
- [singing]
- Harry McAfee: Ed Sullivan.
- [speaking]
- Harry McAfee: Me, Harry McAfee appearing with
- [singing]
- Harry McAfee: Ed Sullivan.
- Harry McAfee, Doris McAfee: [singing] Ed. Ed Sullivan.
- Harry McAfee, Doris McAfee, Kim McAfee: Ed. Ed Sullivan.
- Randolph MacAfee: Ed Sullivan. Ed Sullivan.
- Harry McAfee, Doris McAfee, Kim McAfee, Randolph MacAfee: Ed. Ed. Sull. Sull. Ed Sullivan. Ed Sullivan. We're gonna be on, Ed Sullivan.
- Doris McAfee, Kim McAfee: How could any family be, Half as fortunate as we.
- Harry McAfee, Doris McAfee, Kim McAfee, Randolph MacAfee: We'll be coast to coast, With out favorite host, Ed Sullivan. Ed Sullivan! Ed Sullivan! We're gonna be on Ed Sullivan!
- Harry McAfee: [speaking] I've got a wonderful wife, two swell kids, a good business, and now this.
- Harry McAfee, Doris McAfee, Kim McAfee, Randolph MacAfee: [singing] Someday we'll recall, The greatest day of all!
- Harry McAfee: [speaking] Ed, I love you.
- Harry McAfee, Doris McAfee, Kim McAfee, Randolph MacAfee: [singing] Ed Sullivan!
- Kim McAfee: How do you like it? Isn't it exciting?
- Doris McAfee: No! No! No! I told you not to dye your hair!
- Kim McAfee: Oh, but I wanted to! Isn't it a gas?
- Harry McAfee: You dare defy your mother?
- Kim McAfee: But it's my hair.
- Harry McAfee: Not till you're 21.
- Harry McAfee: I'd go in there with ya if I weren't a happy family man and not allowed to enjoy myself.
- Harry McAfee: No matter how many millions I make selling Speed-Up, I'll still be the same humble, lovable guy I always was. And if any of those hicks try to push me around, I'll break 'em.
- Randolph MacAfee: I respect ya, Papa!
- Harry McAfee: I don't want your respect! Who wants respect from a ten-year-old kid?
- Kim McAfee: Harry, do you have a cigarette? I've run out.
- Harry McAfee: So have I, how 'bout my pipe?
- Harry McAfee: You kids go home before I sick the constable on ya! Go on! Get that carnival off my front lawn! I'll show them who's boss. Harry McAfee's not going to be pushed around by any roll-n-rocker!
- Harry McAfee: I've changed my mind. My daughter is not going to be publicly kissed by that - that wiggler!
- Harry McAfee: Now, hear this. I have decided that bunch of grafters is getting out of here! That is the unshakable decree that I have made as head of this household. So you go upstairs and tell them.
- Doris McAfee: Me? How can I tell Mr. Peterson and that nice Miss DeLeon?
- Harry McAfee: Nice? I know that show business crowd - probably living in sin.
- Doris McAfee: Harry Lionel McAfee!
- Harry McAfee: I never told you, but one summer I worked with the circus. Oh, those midgets, wild!
- Harry McAfee: I promise you one thing, Snookums. No matter how many millions I make sellin' "Speed Up", I'll still be the same, humble, lovable guy. And if any of those hicks try to push me around, I'll break 'em.