Frank Sinatra: Alan Baker

Come Blow Your Horn

Alan Baker

Alan Baker: Aw, stop worrying about it, kid. After all, it's not like you've deserted him completely. You're still working for him, aren't you?
Buddy Baker: There's going to be trouble there too, Alan. I'm thinking about leaving the business.
Alan Baker: Boy, you don't fool around. When you bust out, you really go.
Buddy Baker: Well, it's just doesn't interest me anymore. Look what's going on in the world today. New countries are being born. They're ready to send men to the moon. I just can't get excited about making artificial fruit.
Alan Baker: Well, it's a business like any other business.
Buddy Baker: Yeah, it's different for you. You're on the outside. I'm on the inside looking at those petrified apples and grapes. They never rot; they never turn brown; they never grow old. It's like the fruit version of The Picture of Dorian Gray!

Connie: I've quit, Alan. I mean not just the show. The whole business.
Alan Baker: Quit? I don't get it. Everything's been going so well. How can you give up such a promising career?
Connie: Promising? Even you said I was a lousy singer.
Alan Baker: Oh, no I didn't. I said you had a lousy voice. Now there's really a difference you know.
Connie: There is?
Alan Baker: Yeah. I mean, you know, you've got the looks ... the personality ... And today that's all you need in the music business. Even the hockey players are making albums.

Alan Baker: I promise you I will not lose the account.
Harry R. Baker: Right. It won't be the first one you ever lost. You want to see the list? You can ski down your cancellations.
Alan Baker: Skiing has nothing to do with it.
Harry R. Baker: Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot. I left out golf and sailing ... sleeping and drinking ... women ... If I was in the "bum: business, I would want ten like you!
Alan Baker: You talk as though I put no time at all in the business.
Harry R. Baker: So, do you? You take off legal holidays ... Jewish holidays ... Catholic holidays ... Last year you took off Halloween.

Buddy Baker: Maybe ... maybe I should go home.
Alan Baker: Go home? Why?
Buddy Baker: Mom's so upset. What am I supposed to do?
Alan Baker: Grow up. Sure. Come out of your shell. You're 21 years old now
Buddy Baker: Do you mean I should just forget about the whole thing?
Alan Baker: You've earned your freedom. Now go out and have a fling at life. Take a bite out of the real fruit of life.

Alan Baker: Don't be mad at me, sweetheart.
Connie: Oh, Alan, I'm not mad. I'm serious. I'm serious about you. You know what I mean?
Alan Baker: [Nervously laughs] Oh, sure. I know what you mean.
Connie: Well, for some strange reason. I .. I thought you felt the same way I did. I mean these past six months were ...
Alan Baker: They ... they were wonderful right? That's why I don't want to see them end.
Connie: End? Alan ... Alan ... you might be surprised to learning that some people think of getting serious as a beginning ... not an end.
[She leaves.]

Alan Baker: [Holding a rare steak to his black eye, a waiter enters and puts down another plate.] What's that?
Waiter: Mashed potatoes and peas. They come with the steak.
Alan Baker: The steak's for my eye. What am I going to do with that?
Waiter: For all I care, you can stick it in your ear. It comes with the order.

Connie: Alright then, Alan, let's have the truth. Either you said yourself, "I want to marry this girl!" or "I'm going to have an affair with her." All I ask is that you let me in on your decision. I mean, if marriage is out, just say so, and we'll get on with the affair. But if you're in love with me, as I am with you, you have to tell me and be prepared to back it up with the rest of your life. Well, which is it to be, Alan? Do we march down the aisle or up to your apartment?
Alan Baker: That's the lousiest thing I ever heard. What am I supposed to say?
Connie: Well, Alan, say what you really feel.
Alan Baker: Well, how can I? If I say, I want you," I'm yours. If I say, "I love you," you're mine.
Connie: It's that simple.
Alan Baker: Oh, no. I'm not playing this game. This is more dangerous than Russian roulette.

Harry R. Baker: [Alan walks in] Ah, the other bum! Come on in, bum. We're having a party!
Alan Baker: Well, what are you doing here, Dad?
Harry R. Baker: I was invited to dinner. That's some cook you got in there.
Alan Baker: What cook? What's he talking about?
Buddy Baker: Ah, he means Peggy.
Alan Baker: Oh, ho, ho!
[laughs]
Alan Baker: Well, why don't you tell him she's waiting for me?
Harry R. Baker: Look, I don't need you to make up stories.
[Looks at Buddy]
Harry R. Baker: For this, I've got Tennessee Williams.

Alan Baker: [Slaps Buddy across the face] I'm sorry, kid. Honest I am.
Buddy Baker: You're seeing yourself for the first time, Alan. I'm just a carbon copy. You're bugged 'cause you don't belong here. Well, I do. I'm just starting my fling, Alan. You're flung.