Hercules, Samson & Ulysses

There is some real nostalgic support for this movie, but I think it's misplaced. On the positive side, from time to time you come across some very nice looking sets. The palace exterior and interiors are truly impressive. It's too bad they weren't used in a movie that makes any sense. It's pretty clear that even in the original language, the actors chewed the scenery without mercy.

But I didn't see it in the original language. The dubs are hideously bad. It doesn't help that the dialogue is as wretched as it gets. Real Junior High School level writing, if that good.

Okay, so we have bad acting, bad dubbing, bad dialogue, what else? The story itself is just stupid, despite Samson's mad spear-throwing skills, where the same two soldiers on horses fall down with every double spear throw. LOL.

Two mythological heroes collide when Hercules and Samson team up, with an assist from Ulysses, to tackle the diabolical king of the Philistines and his minions. Along the way, Herc does battle with a hideous sea monster (aka: a big seal), a rather confused buffalo, and a languid lion. Meanwhile Sam dazzles the Philistine army with his astonishing spear-throwing prowess.

When these two titans finally meet, it's an all out, boulder-tossing, pillar-demolishing showdown! Then, they're off to crush the Philistines and their odious ruler in the ultimate battle royal!

If you're a fan of these muscleman epics, then you should love this. The Styrofoam boulders fly like... well, Styrofoam, and there's enough body oil used to fill an Olympic swimming pool!

Watch for the astonishing Delilah (Liana Orfei) and her magnificent dance routine!

SIDE NOTE: Check out the helmets on the Philistine soldiers. They're repurposed German helmets from some World War II movie! They take you out of the movie so completely, it's like watching something from Mel Brooks! Absolute brilliance!...

In Ithaca, Hercules (Kirk Morris) lives leisurely at the court of King Laertes, father of Ulysses. Fishermen come to court begging for help to fight a sea monster. Hercules sets off on a ship and Ulysses eagerly joins the expedition. Their ship sinks and the survivors land in Judea. They get mixed up in a fight between ruthless ruler Saran of Gaza and Jewish rebels championed by Samson. Delilah is the manipulative Philistine Queen.

It's an Italian sword and sandal epic. It's also a mash-up of Greek and Jewish stories. It reminds me of Batman v Superman. It is very much a movie of its B-genre. It's actually enjoyable as an action B-movie. I am certain about one thing. Samson needs longer hair. A stumpy ponytail is not enough.

And just caught it again on television this morning, 1 May 2018. Fifty-five years later, it's still classic high camp. Ah, memories.... One detail that escaped me the first time is that the Philistines are all wearing World War II German helmets. I guess there were a few of them available in Italy in 1963.

TCM often shows films not available on video, and this, such a film, is most interesting.

As the sword and sandal craze dwindled this was unloaded onto the matinée market by MGM in 1965. Strongman Kirk Morris plays the lead Hercules, assisted by crafty Ulysses and equally powerful Samson against the evil ruler of Gaza.

This is actually a weirdly absorbing movie, as I found myself wanting to see it to the conclusion. The plot is rather complex, with double-crosses, duels to the death and some attractive scenery. As is to be expected, dubbing makes all of the action somewhat hard to follow. The larger-than-life characters are acted with gusto. I hope we see a DVD of this someday...