Gordon Jackson credited as playing...
MacDonald 'Intelligence'
- Bartlett: Hilts, how do you breathe?
- Hilts: Oh, we got a steel rod with hinges on it. We'll shove it up and make air holes as we go along.
- [to Ramsey]
- Hilts: G'night, sir.
- [Walks out]
- MacDonald: Why didn't anyone think of that before? It's so stupid, it's positively brilliant!
- [face falls]
- MacDonald: Oh, but it'll bring every goon in the camp down on top of us!
- Bartlett: I don't know. Perhaps we're being too clever. If we stop all the breakouts, it will only convince the goons we must be tunneling.
- Ramsey: I hope it works. If it doesn't, those two will be in the cooler for an awfully long time.
- [cut to Hilts and Ives being escorted back to the cooler covered in dirt]
- Hilts: [Bartlett has offered Hilts the idea of serving as a scout] Interesting idea. How many you taking out?
- Bartlett: Two hundred and fifty.
- Hilts: [utterly stupefied] Two hundred and fifty?
- Bartlett: Yeah.
- Hilts: You're crazy, you oughta be locked up...
- [points at MacDonald]
- Hilts: ... you, too. Two hundred and fifty guys just walkin' down the road, just like that?
- Bartlett: Well, some on the road, some by train, some cross-country...
- MacDonald: They'll have forged papers, clothes, maps, compasses, rations...
- Hilts: Has it occured to you that you're going to alert every goon in the country? Anybody that can carry a pitchfork is going to be out looking for you? Why, they're going to swoop down and scoop you up so fast it'd make your head swim!
- Bartlett: [getting up to walk out the hallway] Yes, well, uh... thanks anyway.
- Hilts: Anything I can do to help you out in the tunnel, just let me know.
- MacDonald: That's very good of you.
- Hilts: Anytime.
- [Bartlett and Mac walk down the hallway]
- Hilts: Wait a minute!
- [Bartlett and Mac stop walking]
- Hilts: You aren't seriously suggesting that if I get through the wire... and case everything out there... and don't get picked up... to turn myself in and get thrown back in the cooler for a couple of months so you can get the information you need?
- Bartlett: Yes. One has to ask some very strange things in the job I have.
- MacDonald: We'll give you a front place in the tunnel.
- Hilts: I wouldn't do that for my own mother.
- MacDonald: I don't blame you.
- Hilts: Well, okay then.
- Bartlett: Well, I mean it's completely understandable...
- Hilts: Well, okay then!
- [awkward silence]
- Bartlett: Yes, well, thanks, Hilts.
- [Bartlett and Mac walk off]
- Willie: This is the dirt from the compound.
- Danny: This is from the tunnel.
- [Mac takes a handful of tunnel dirt and sprinkles it onto the mound from the compound]
- MacDonald: Wherever we put it, they're going to spot it a mile away.
- Willie: Well, maybe we could put it under the huts. The dirt's dark there.
- MacDonald: Nah. No, it's the first place the ferrets would look; I saw one measuring the height under a hut yesterday.
- Willie: Well, maybe we could dry it out the same color.
- Danny: We'll have fifty tons of it.
- Willie: Well, I was just thinking out loud.
- Bartlett: [annoyed] If you must think, for God's sake, think clearly. Where the devil is Ashley-Pitt?
- MacDonald: We can't destroy the dirt, and we can't eat it. The only thing left to do is... camouflage it. That's as far as my thinking takes me.
- [Ashley-Pitt enters the room]
- Bartlett: Didn't they teach you promptness in the R.N.?
- Ashley-Pitt: You'll never believe it, but I think I have the solution. The problem is somehow to get rid of this tunnel dirt over the compound.
- Bartlett: Well, of course!
- Ashley-Pitt: Would you mind?
- [Eric hands Danny and Willie a blanket, which they set on the floor, while Eric gets his contraption ready]
- Ashley-Pitt: Now... you fill these bags with the dirt from the tunnel. Then, wearing them *inside* your trousers, you wander out into the compound, where you pull these strings in your pockets. Out come the pins...
- [Eric pulls the pins out to demonstrate; the dirt is released onto the ground]
- Danny: Eric, it's good.
- Ashley-Pitt: All you have to do is... kick it in. Unless you're a complete fool, the ferrets will never see a thing.
- MacDonald: It's indecently brilliant. What do you think, Roger?
- Bartlett: We'll try it first thing tomorrow.
- Ashley-Pitt: I already have; it works.
- Bartlett: Gentlemen, no doubt you've heard the, uh, immortal words of our new commandant: "devote your energies to things other than escape, and sit out the war as comfortably as possible."
- [Sedgewick gives a derisive laugh]
- Bartlett: Well, that's exactly what we're going to do. We're going to devote our energies to sports and gardening, all the cultural pursuits, as far as they're concerned, in fact, we're going to put the goons to sleep. Meanwhile... we dig. Now, even a superficial look at the compound shows us that Huts 104 and 5 are closest to the woods. The first tunnel goes out from 105, directly east under the vorlager, the cooler, and the wire.
- Willie: But that's over three hundred feet, Roger!
- Bartlett: Did you make a survey, Dennis?
- Cavendish: Only a temporary one, sir. I make it just over three hundred and thirty-five feet.
- Bartlett: Let me know when you've got an exact one. Willie, this time we'll dig straight down thirty feet before we go horizontal. That'll rule out any question of sound detection or probing.
- Willie: All right, Roger. But did you say "the first tunnel"?
- Bartlett: I did. There will be three. We'll call them Tom, Dick, and Harry. Tom, as I said, goes out directly east from 104. Dick goes north from the kitchen, and Harry goes out parallel to Tom from 105. If the goons find one, we'll move into the other.
- MacDonald: How many men do you plan to take out, Roger?
- [a beat]
- Bartlett: Two hundred and fifty.
- [Everyone stares in shock]
- Bartlett: There will be no half-measures this time, gentlemen. There will be identification papers and documents for everyone. And Griff, we'll need outfits for the lot.
- Griffith: Two hundred and fifty?
- Bartlett: Mostly civilian clothes.
- Griffith: Yes, but, um... okay, Roger.
- Bartlett: Mac. Maps, blankets, rations, compasses for all the walkers, and timetables for every train.
- MacDonald: Right, Roger.
- [Blythe enters the room]
- Colin: Sorry I'm late, Roger.
- Bartlett: All right, Colin. Sit down. We're going to tunnel.
- Colin: Splendid.
- Bartlett: Willie, you and Danny will be tunnel kings. Danny, you'll be in charge of traps, and I'll work out the exact location with you tomorrow.
- Danny: Good.
- Bartlett: Sedgwick, manufacturer. Griff, as I said, tailor. Nimmo and Hayes, diversions. Mac, of course, will take care of intelligence. Hendley? We haven't met. Scrounger?
- Hendley: Right.
- Bartlett: Dennis, maps and surveys. Colin, you'll take your usual job. Eric, have you thought how you're going to get rid of this dirt?
- Ashley-Pitt: Yes, I have. The usual places. I hadn't anticipated three tunnels, but we'll manage.
- Sorren: Roger, who's going to handle security for all this?
- Bartlett: You are. I want a system of stooges covering this compound from front to back, checking every goon in and out. I want a signal system so perfect that if ever a ferret gets within fifty feet of any of the huts in which we're working, we can shut down without a sign. Well... I don't think there's much point in discussing any more now, I'll meet each of you in turn on the exercise circuit, and we'll... pound out the details. Nothing else, is there, Mac?
- MacDonald: I shouldn't think so, Roger.
- Hilts: [after seeing how close they are to the woods] Hold on to yourself, Bartlett. You're twenty feet short.
- Bartlett: What do you mean, twenty feet short?
- Hilts: You're twenty feet short of the woods. The hole is right here in open. The guard is between us and the lights.
- MacDonald: How could that happen? The survey took us...
- Bartlett: What the hell difference does it make? It's happened.
- [Hilts goes back up to the surface]
- MacDonald: Roger...
- Bartlett: [Annoyed] Dammit, Mac, I'm trying to think!
- MacDonald: We could postpone until we dig to the trees.
- Bartlett: All the documents are dated today; it's now or never.
- [Hilts comes back down]
- Hilts: One chance. When the guard goes to the far end of the compound, you might be able to move your men out. I think I can make it to the woods, set up a signal when you're clear.
- Bartlett: What about the goon towers?
- Hilts: That's a chance you're gonna have to take, but they're gonna be watching the compound, not the woods.
- [a beat]
- Bartlett: Mac, pass word to the others; send down 30 feet of rope.
- German Policeman: [At a bus station, Bartlett and MacDonald are approached by a policeman]
- [Translated: State police. Your ID, please]
- German Policeman: Staatspolitzei. Ihren auswis, bitte.
- [they hand him their passports]
- German Policeman: [Translated: Ah, French?] Ah, Francais?
- Bartlett: [Translated: Yes] Jawohl.
- German Policeman: Comme versant?
- Bartlett: [Translated: Yes, indeed. Do you speak French?] Mais oui. Parlez vous Francais?
- German Policeman: [Translated: A little] Un peu.
- Bartlett: [Translated: Your accent is very good] Votre accent est tres bon.
- German Policeman: [Translated: I studied in higher education] J'ai etudie dans le ecoles superieures.
- [hands them back their passports]
- German Policeman: [Translated: Very good. Pass] Tres bien. Passe.
- MacDonald: Merci.
- [Bartlett and MacDonald get on the bus]
- German Policeman: Au revoir, monsieur.
- Bartlett: Au revoir.
- German Policeman: Au revoir...
- [the officer suddenly speaks in English]
- German Policeman: Good luck.
- MacDonald: [in English] Thank you.
- [Mac immediately realizes his mistake as the officers attack them]
- Danny: [preparing to start the escape tunnel] We're ready.
- Bartlett: Big enough?
- Danny: It's perfect. Right through the middle of the foundation.
- [with his chalk, he writes "17" in the corner of the concrete]
- Bartlett: Good luck to us, Danny.
- Hendley: [quietly, to Mac] Why 17?
- MacDonald: This is the 17th tunnel Danny's started.
- Hendley: [Everyone is celebrating the 4th of July] Gentlemen, you're invited for free drinks at the washdown.
- Hilts: The 4th of July, a little present from the Colonials.
- Goff: [drunkenly] Down the British!
- Bartlett: Here, here!
- MacDonald: Quite right, too.
- Hendley: And a little drink to Tom.
- Hilts: We'll be getting on.
- Ramsey: Very well, we accept. Up the rebels!
- Goff: [drunkenly] Down the British!
- Hendley: Gentlemen, if you care to follow us.
- [the large group of prisoners marches away]
- Nazi investigator: [the Nazis are searching for the prisoners on a train, and encounter Bartlett and MacDonald]
- [Translated: Your passport, please]
- Nazi investigator: Ihre passe, bitte.
- [Hendley and Blythe walk down the train hallway]
- Hendley: [to Ashley-Pitt] Tally-ho.
- [Ashley-Pitt puts on his glasses and starts reading a newspaper; the Nazis are questioning Bartlett and MacDonald]
- Nazi investigator: [Translated: Are you French?] Vous etes Francais?
- Bartlett: Qui.
- MacDonald: [Translated: Me, too] Moi, aussi.
- [a beat]
- Nazi investigator: Merci. Bien.
- [the Nazis walk on to the next row of passengers]
- Hendley: [passing Haynes] Tally-ho.
- [the Nazis are questioning Ashley-Pitt]
- Nazi investigator: [Translated: Are you traveling for a company?] Sie reisen für eine firma?
- Ashley-Pitt: [Translated: Yes. for my...] Ja. Für mein...
- [shows them his passport]
- Ashley-Pitt: [Translated: For my company] Für mein geschäft.
- Nazi investigator: [Translated: Thank you] Danke.
- Ashley-Pitt: [Translated: Thank you] Danke.
- Bartlett: [walking in to the manufacturing station] Bluey, where the hell is the air pump?
- Sedgwick: Oh, patience is a virtue, Roger, old cobbler!
- Bartlett: Yes, I know, dear boy, but the diggers can only work when the traps open, and this is holding us up very badly!
- [Sedgewick removes the false wall and brings out the air pump]
- MacDonald: Is it finished?
- Sedgwick: Of course!
- MacDonald: Why isn't it in?
- Sedgwick: Working on the air ducts now.
- MacDonald: Well, when will they be finished?
- Sedgwick: Probably two days.
- Bartlett: Does it work?
- Sedgwick: Course it works.
- [he tests it out]
- Bartlett: Will it give us enough air?
- Sedgwick: As much as you need.
- Bartlett: Excellent. Hand it in by tomorrow night.
- [Bartlett and Mac leave]
- MacDonald: [Mac is looking over forged passports]
- [Translated: Take off your hat]
- MacDonald: Hut ab.
- [Sorren takes his hat off]
- MacDonald: [Translated: Very good. okay. Thank you] Sehr gut. In ornung. Danke schon.
- Sorren: [Translated: You're welcome] Bitte schon.
- MacDonald: [Translated: Inside] Herein.
- [Haynes walks in, dressed in a German uniform]
- Haynes ('Diversions'): [salutes] Heil Hitler.
- MacDonald: [Translated: What is your name?] Wie heissen sie?
- Haynes ('Diversions'): [Translated: Erich Stressel, from Munich] Erich Stressel, aus München.
- MacDonald: [Translated: Why are you here?] Warum sind sie hier?
- Haynes ('Diversions'): [Translated: I came on vacation. My mother is sick] Ich hab urlaub gekommen. Meine mutter ist krank.
- MacDonald: [Speaking in English] Your German's very good.
- Haynes ('Diversions'): [breaking character] Oh, thanks, Mac, I've put in a lot of...
- MacDonald: Oh, now, watch it, Haynes, it's the easiest way in the world to trip up a suspect, don't fall for that old gag.
- Haynes ('Diversions'): Sorry, Mac.
- MacDonald: Okay, but remember, German always.
- Bartlett: [of the Americans' vodka] In the three years, seven months and two weeks that I've been in the bag, that's the most extraordinary stuff I've ever tasted. It's shattering!
- MacDonald: Well, I think it's rather good... Well, with your permission, sir, I think I'll all on kives. Er, call on Ives.