Alan Hale Jr. credited as playing...
Jonas 'The Skipper' Grumby • Agent 1 • Captain John Silver • Colonel Watney • Deputy • Dr. Marshall Matt Dillon • Marajah • Mom • Mrs. Howell • Old Skipper • Prince 2 • Santa Claus • Stepmother • The Bailiff • The Giant
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: Ginger, I've got a problem... I've got a real problem... Now you're a girl, right?
- Ginger Grant: Well, if you're not sure about that, you have got a problem!
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: You don't know anything about space.
- Gilligan: I do know one thing. You take up more of it than I do.
- [the castaways have set up a courtroom and are conducting a trial]
- Thurston Howell III: Your Honor, will you get another gavel?
- Professor Roy Hinkley: Why?
- Thurston Howell III: That one's squirting milk all over me.
- [Later in the same courtroom sequence]
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: Ginger's very damaging to us.
- Gilligan: Yeah, her testimony.
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: No, her legs.
- [And finally...]
- Thurston Howell III: I'd like to charge Mary Ann with murder.
- Professor Roy Hinkley: Murder?
- Thurston Howell III: Her testimony's killing me.
- Gilligan: You're a big man with a big head and...
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: Gilligan!
- Gilligan: And a big heart.
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: Oh, thank you.
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: Gilligan, little buddy, come with me.
- Gilligan: I'm not finished yet.
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: Gilligan, come with me!
- Gilligan: I'm finished.
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: I guess it will be a long time before you'll eat another mushroom.
- Mary Ann Summers: You can say that again.
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: I guess it will be a long time...
- [laughs]
- Gilligan: Don't worry about mushrooms anymore, I got a book that tells all about them.
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: You do?
- Gilligan: Huh huh. Yeah, and it's called, "'How to Tell A Mushroom From a Toadstool'" by the late Dr. Morton Kepstone.
- Skipper Jonas Grumby, Mary Ann Summers: Late?
- Gilligan: Late?
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: [upon finding a robot] Oh for goodness' sakes, that's just what we needed. The tin fugitive from the Wizard of Oz.
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: If I were ever seen talking to this refugee from a junkyard, they'd think the skipper lost all his marbles.
- Robot: The skipper lost his marbles.
- Professor Roy Hinkley: I'll get Mr. Howell and we'll reconnoiter.
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: All right, we'll get Mr. Howell and we'll reconnoiter. Come on.
- Gilligan: Okay, but I think we ought to scout around a bit first.
- Thurston Howell III: What is this slop?
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: It's Gilligan's own creation, Mr. Howell, It's coconut pot pie.
- Gilligan: Skipper, should I pick the yellow bananas or the red bananas, because the yellow bananas are green.
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: Then pick the red ones.
- Gilligan: But the red ones are pink.
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: Gilligan, I don't care if you pick red-white-and-blue bananas, just pick some bananas!
- Gilligan: Okay, Skipper... Blue bananas?
- Gilligan: Skipper, are you asleep?
- Skipper Jonas Grumby: [sarcastically] Yes.
- Gilligan: Oh, well when you wake up will you tell me if you've seen my rabbit's foot?