Romy Schneider credited as playing...
Janet Lagerlof
- Janet Lagerlof: I tell you something, Min. Every girl should be married to Howard Ebbet at least once. It is like hitting your head against the wall - it feels so good when it stops. Leaving him was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. It absolutely restored my faith in divorce!
- Simon Nurdlinger: You know, a man needs a foundation on which to build an immaculate life. Mrs. Nurdlinger and I, we detest the philanderer and the infidelity which some men live by.
- Janet Lagerlof: Oh, yes, so it is with Sam and I.
- Simon Nurdlinger: You wouldn't believe some of the degenerate pursuits of some of the people in our society. But God will deal with the whoremonger and the profited. Their days are numbered. Isaiah, verse six.
- Janet Lagerlof: Amen.
- Howard Ebbets: Those are my pajamas.
- Janet Lagerlof: Yes.
- Howard Ebbets: Why those are the pajamas you bought me the weekend we drove to Carmel. And now you've given them to this gigolo?
- Janet Lagerlof: Oh! Don't get all sentimental over a pair of pajamas!
- Janet Lagerlof: Remember what I always said in school? There are some girls born to be single. Well, I'm one of them. I just love being free! Not that marriage isn't good for other girls. It obviously agrees with you, Min. You know, I expected you to look all married and plump and I don't now. You're divine!
- Janet Lagerlof: [Looking for his wife, Sam interrupts Janet in a steamy shower] You must be Sam! I'm Min's friend, Janet. Janet Lagerlof.
- Sam Bissell: How do you do, Mrs. Lagerlof?
- Janet Lagerlof: How do you do? I mean, I mean, Lagerlof is only my, my maiden name. Until my divorce is final, I am still Mrs. Howard Ebbets.
- Sam Bissell: Oh, how do you do, Mrs. Ebbets?
- Janet Lagerlof: How do you do? Nice to see you!
- Sam Bissell: Nice to - see you. Well, look, I don't want to disturb your shower. Can I get you anything? Soap or...
- Janet Lagerlof: No, no. Thank you. I have everything.
- Sam Bissell: Make yourself at home.
- Janet Lagerlof: Sam, I really hate to impose on you, but, could you - please stay tonight, with me, here?
- Sam Bissell: Yeah, I guess I better.
- Janet Lagerlof: Thank you. You're a darling. Now, let's see. It won't be dark for a couple of hours. What'll we do? We'll have to kill some time. What do you usually do when you come home from work?
- Sam Bissell: Well, Min usually makes me a martini.
- Janet Lagerlof: Alright. I'll make you a martini. Get comfortable.
- Janet Lagerlof: How dare you! Apologize this instant!
- Howard Ebbets: Apologize?
- Janet Lagerlof: Yes!
- Howard Ebbets: I come here in the middle of the night to find some ape in fluorescent pajamas with my wife in a nightgown!
- Janet Lagerlof: Of course, I'm in a nightgown. What else would I be wearing in the middle of the night?
- Sam Bissell: Don't call my wife a snoop!
- Howard Ebbets: Your wife?
- Janet Lagerlof: Yes, his wife. She's also my best friend. And she kindly loaned me the use of her husband.
- Sam Bissell: Oh, it's ridiculous. Why am I worried about a - madman like that. I know the story. It's typical. Typical. He just took advantage of you. You know, the smooth dancer, the fancy dresser, you were young and naive, and you thought he was a swell fella because he never made a pass at you and then you marry him and you find out why. Mama's boy. A pretty Mama's boy are all wind up and no pitch, as we used to say. It's a sad facet of American life.
- Janet Lagerlof: Oh, no. He wasn't a Mama's boy. He was quite the contrary.
- Janet Lagerlof: How dare you talk to me in that tone of voice. Just get out of here! That's all!
- Howard Ebbets: Now, don't you worry. I'm getting out; but not before I give you something you've had coming to you for a long time. A good, swift kick in the hind end!