John Lennon credited as playing...
John
- Millie: Oh, wait a minute, don't tell me who you are.
- John: No, I'm not.
- Millie: Oh, you are.
- John: I'm not.
- Millie: Oh, you are, I know you are.
- John: I'm not, no.
- Millie: You look just like him.
- John: Do I? You're the first one that's said that ever.
- Millie: [motions to the mirror] Yes, you do. Look.
- John: No, my eyes are lighter. The nose.
- Millie: Oh, your nose is very...
- John: Is it?
- Millie: I would have said so.
- John: Oh, you know him better, though.
- Millie: I do not! He's only a casual acquaintance.
- John: That's what you say.
- Millie: What have you heard?
- John: [leans in, lowers his voice] It's all over the place.
- Millie: Is it? Is it really?
- John: Mmm, but I wouldn't have it. I stuck up for you.
- Millie: I knew I could rely on you.
- John: Thanks.
- Millie: [puts on her glasses] You don't look like him at all.
- [John walks away, pouting]
- John: [to himself] She looks more like him than I do.
- John: Hey, look at the talent. Let's give them a pull.
- Paul: Should I?
- George: Aye, but don't rush. None of your five-bar gate jumps and over sort of stuff.
- Paul: What's that supposed to mean?
- George: I don't know, I just thought it sounded distinguished-like.
- John: George Harrison, the Scouse of distinction!
- Grandfather: Hullo.
- John: He can talk then, can he?
- Paul: 'Course he can talk. He's a human being, isn't he?
- Ringo: Well, if he's your grandfather, who knows! Ha ha ha!
- Ringo: [referring to half-dressed room-service waiter hiding in the wardrobe] Any of you lot put a man in the cupboard?
- George: Nah!
- Paul: Don't be soft!
- Ringo: Well, someone did.
- George: [George gets up, walks over, looks in the cupboard, then sits back down]
- George: He's right, you know
- John: There you go.
- [the boys are listening to the radio]
- Man on Train: And we'll have that thing off as well, thank you.
- Ringo: But...
- Man on Train: An elementary knowledge of the Railway Acts would tell you that I'm perfectly within my rights.
- Paul: Yeah, but we want to hear it, and there's more of us than you. We're a community, like, a majority vote. Up the workers and all that stuff!
- Man on Train: Then I suggest you take that damned thing to the corridor or some other part of the train where you obviously belong.
- John: [Leaning over to the man] Give us a kiss.
- Ringo: I don't snore.
- George: You do, repeatedly.
- Ringo: Do I snore, John?
- John: Yeah, you're a window-rattler, son.
- Ringo: That's just your opinion. Do I snore, Paul?
- Paul: With a trombone hooter like yours, it would be unnatural if you didn't.
- Grandfather: Now, Paulie... don't mock the afflicted.
- Paul: Ah, come off it, it's only a joke!
- Grandfather: Aye, it may be a joke to you, but it's his nose. He can't help having a hideous great hooter! And his poor little head, trembling under the weight of it!
- [the Beatles are late for a rehersal]
- T.V. Floor Manager: They'll be here.
- T.V. Director: Yes, well, if they aren't on this stage in precisely 30 seconds there'll be trouble? Do you hear me? Trouble.
- [exactly three seconds after he stops speaking, the Beatles calmly amble onstage]
- John: [to director] Standin' around, hey? Some people have it dead easy.
- Norm: Now look, I've had a marvelous idea. Just for once, let's all try to behave like ordinary, respectable citizens. Let's not cause any trouble, pull any strokes, or do anything I'm gonna be sorry for. Especially tomorrow at that television theater, because...
- [looks at John, who is holding up a bottle to his nose]
- Norm: Are you listening to me, Lennon?
- John: You're a swine. Isn't he, George?
- George: Yeah, a swine.
- Norm: [indifferently] Thanks.
- John: You should have gone West to America. You would have been a senior citizen of Boston. But you took a wrong turn, and what happened? You're a lonely old man from Liverpool.
- Grandfather: But I'm clean.
- John: Are you?