Fred MacMurray credited as playing...
Thad McCloud
- Thaddeus McCloud: I'm going nuts!
- Doris Reid Weaver: Thad, why in heaven's name did you let Leslie run for the Presidency?
- Thaddeus McCloud: Because I never thought she'd make it!
- Thaddeus McCloud: What is he crazy? The only thing I know about foreign relations is my uncle who lives up in Canada.
- Thaddeus McCloud: This must be the first lady's bedroom.
- Leslie McCloud: It must be.
- Thaddeus McCloud: Leslie, you don't mean you're actually going to try to shove me in here?
- Leslie McCloud: Oh, you have your very own private dressing room.
- Thaddeus McCloud: Well, if you think I gave up my golf club membership and prospering business so I could sleep in something like this!
- Leslie McCloud: And to the right, the President's Bedroom. It isn't very feminine.
- Thaddeus McCloud: Maybe you - maybe you should appeal to Congress for some... curtains. Make it your first official act and the women of America would be proud that they picked a President who knows first things come first.
- Thaddeus McCloud: You are my President and I must treat you as such.
- [kiss]
- Leslie McCloud: I didn't know that was standard treatment for Presidents.
- Thaddeus McCloud: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- [takes Leslie over to the bed]
- Leslie McCloud: Darling, if you'll wait just one minute I can get into something comfortable for you.
- Thaddeus McCloud: Times a-wastin' and I don't trust those two telephones.
- [kiss]
- Leslie McCloud: What are you reading?
- Thaddeus McCloud: It's a - you wouldn't be interested. It's Theodore White's "The Making of a President."
- Raphael Valdez Jr.: [at a strip club] I like her very much! Your country, most of the women are very bold. What is her name?
- Thaddeus McCloud: The sign says her name is Nana Peel.
- Raphael Valdez Jr.: Nana Peel? That's a ridiculous name. But it's, very suggestive. No doubt, very good for business.
- Doris Reid Weaver: Here, smell my earlobe.
- Thaddeus McCloud: That smells good. A little like me, but, a lot better.
- Doris Reid Weaver: It's the same perfume, except that when it blends with my personal body chemistry it - it's a different fragrance, than when it blends with yours.
- Thaddeus McCloud: Oh. I guess maybe my personal body chemistry is martini.
- Leslie McCloud: [Thad spanks Leslie's behind] Don't get fresh! I'll have you drafted.
- Thaddeus McCloud: You can't have me drafted, I'm too old. But, I'm not too old to get fresh!
- Leslie McCloud: Maybe we should do away with those dull, formal receptions and have intimate affairs.
- Thaddeus McCloud: Yeah, that's what I like. Intimate affairs.
- Thaddeus McCloud: "Leslie" can be either a man's name or a woman's name.
- Raphael Valdez Jr.: Yes, but it can be very confusing.
- Peter McCloud: Dad, how come we have to have ushers in our new house - like at the movies?
- Thaddeus McCloud: Because your mother went out and got herself elected President. That's how come. And we're lucky we have ushers; because, there'll be thousands of people traipsing in and out of here all day long and we wouldn't want to get caught in the shower, would we?
- Jackson: This is the Oval Room, sometimes called the President's Study. To your right is the President's Bedroom. Beyond that, the First Lady's Bedroom and Dressing Room.
- Thaddeus McCloud: Thank you.
- Leslie McCloud: Thank you, Mr. Jackson.
- Thaddeus McCloud: As I recall, those two children of ours were born in wedlock.
- Leslie McCloud: Oh, darling, I'm tired. I want to go to bed.
- Thaddeus McCloud: Well, come on!
- Leslie McCloud: Oh, I've got so much reading to do.
- Joseph: Tell me what the family might like for dinner and where you wish it served.
- Thaddeus McCloud: Joseph, that's a little out of my line. Who usually plans the menu.
- Joseph: The First Lady, sir.
- Thaddeus McCloud: Oh, so you want me to do it.
- Joseph: Well, sir, the President is very busy.
- Thaddeus McCloud: Well, I guess I do have a job after all.
- Thaddeus McCloud: You scared?
- Leslie McCloud: A little.
- Thaddeus McCloud: Well, don't be sweetheart. You'll do just fine.
- Leslie McCloud: Oh, Thad, I hope so.
- Thaddeus McCloud: You will! Believe me. After all, you have a better background than some of the previous tenants. A daughter of an Ambassador, a niece of a Senator, former judge, wife, mother, and a graduate of Radcliffe. What other President could make that statement?
- Leslie McCloud: Thad, you have the most wonderful talent for making me feel good.
- Thaddeus McCloud: What's up?
- Leslie McCloud: I'm sorry, darling. Classified information.
- [blows Thad a kiss and leaves]