Paul Soles credited as playing...
Hermey
- Yukon Cornelius: This fog's as thick as peanut butter!
- Hermey: You mean pea soup.
- Yukon Cornelius: You eat what you like, and I'll eat what I like!
- Yukon Cornelius: You're going to stay with me, and we'll all be rich--with the biggest silver strike this side of Hudson Bay. Sil-verrrrrrr!
- Hermey: I thought you wanted gold.
- Yukon Cornelius: I changed my mind.
- Head Elf: [Entering the workshop room where Hermey is practicing his dental skills; angrily] Why weren't you at elf practice?
- Hermey: [pauses his work] Just fixing these dolls' teeth.
- Head Elf: Just fixing...? Now listen: we have dolls that cry, talk, walk, blink and run a temperature. We don't need any chewing dolls!
- Hermey: But I just thought I'd find a way to - to fit in.
- Head Elf: You'll *never* fit in! Now you come to elf practice, learn how to wiggle your ears, chuckle warmly, go "hee-hee" and "ho-ho", and important stuff like that. A dentist! Good grief!
- [slams door]
- Head Elf: Hermey! Aren't you finished painting that yet? There's a pile-up a mile wide behind you! What's eatin' ya, boy?
- Hermey: Not happy with my work, I guess.
- Head Elf: What?
- Hermey: [sadly] I just don't like to make toys.
- Head Elf: Oh, well, if that's all... What? You don't like to make toys?
- Hermey: [sadly again] Nnno.
- Head Elf: [to the other elves] Hermey doesn't like to make toys!
- Elves: [whispering to each other, then chorusing to Hermey in unison] Hermey doesn't like to make toys. Hermey doesn't like to make toys. Hermey doesn't like to make toys. Shame on you!
- Head Elf: Do you mind telling me what you do want to do?
- Hermey: Well, sir, someday, I'd like to be a... a dentist.
- Head Elf: A - dentist?
- Hermey: Well, we need one up here. I've been studying. It's fascinating; you've no idea. Molars and bicuspids and incisors...
- Head Elf: [interrupts] Now listen, you: you're an elf, and elves make toys.
- [shoving the dentistry book away and shoving the cart that Hermey was painting back to him]
- Head Elf: Now, get to work!
- [whistle blows]
- Head Elf: [to the other elves] Ten minute break!
- [Hermey smiles eagerly and starts to leave, but the head elf jumps him]
- Head Elf: Not for you! Finish the job, or you're fired!
- Head Elf: [extending his hand to Hermey, then Hermey shakes it] All right, you can open a dentist office, next week, after Christmas.
- Hermey: Come here, open your mouth.
- Head Elf: [groaning as he opens his mouth] Ah...
- Hermey: Oh, dear! I'd better set an appointment up for you a week from Tuesday, 4:30 sharp!
- Charlie-In-The-Box: I am the official sentry of the Island of Misfit Toys.
- Hermey: [Surprised] A jack-in-the-box for a sentry?
- Charlie-In-The-Box: Yes, and my name is...
- Rudolph: [interrupts] Don't tell me: Jack.
- Charlie-In-The-Box: [Sadly] No, Charlie. That's why I'm a misfit toy. My name is all wrong. No child wants to play with a Charlie-In-The-Box, so I had to come here.
- Hermey: Where's "here"?
- Hermey: [singing] Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nitwit. You can't fire me, I quit! Seems I don't fit in.