Michael Parks: Bus Riley

Bus Riley's Back in Town

Bus Riley

Mrs. Riley: You want to be an undertaker?
Bus Riley: Well, they don't call them undertakers any more, Mom. They call them morticians.
Mrs. Riley: Oh. You think you'd be happy in that kind of work?
Bus Riley: Yeah.
Mrs. Riley: Working with dead people?

Mrs. Spencer: We've a service coming up pretty soon. We're having a dress rehearsal, for old Lady Herndon, from out west of town. Died of a heart attack when one of her cats was hit by a moving van. Poor old dear. Want to take a look at her?
Bus Riley: Oh, no.
Mrs. Spencer: Why? You're not afraid of death are you?
Bus Riley: No.
Mrs. Spencer: She's lying there, as natural as life. Pretty as a picture. She was a sight when they first brought her here. But, Spencer's an artist! He dolls them up until they look like chorus girls.

Gussie: It's a camera. I always wanted a camera.
Mrs. Riley: You got her a camera?
Bus Riley: I got it in Tokyo, Mom. You can get them cheap there.
Gussie: [hugging Bus] Tokyo! I bet I'm the *only* kid in school that's got a camera from Tokyo!

Laurel: I did it for you. Daddy made me agree to marry Ellis. He could have put you in prison, Bus. He would have. I was only 17!
Bus Riley: All he had to do is give us consent, that's all.

Laurel: You were the scrawniest life guard I'd ever seen. You filled out since then.
Bus Riley: So have you.
Laurel: Can I take that as a complement?
Bus Riley: Sure. Just don't build anything on it.
Laurel: Oh, you didn't used to be so careful with your complements. You used to think I was all there was - the whole department store.
Bus Riley: Used to.

Bus Riley: Man, this town has changed. Three years. You know, Howie, it even feels different.
Howie: Well, nothin' stands still, kid. Nothin'.

Spencer: Look, Bus, why don't you go home, pack all your stuff and - come on over and move in as soon as you can.
Bus Riley: You mean - move in, here?
Spencer: Yeah, sure. I want you here with me.
Bus Riley: Well, yeah, but I didn't know you wanted me to - move in.
Spencer: I'm a lonely man, Bus.

Laurel: Honey, I'm just miserable.
Bus Riley: Yeah, misery's a big plum. But, there's one nice thing about it. Anybody can join.

Bus Riley: Say, it may not be any of my business, but, doesn't that husband of yours ever - ever show up?
Laurel: Oh, well, he was here last Sunday; but, he had to fly to Iran to see some more oil wells.

Laurel: Aren't you going to ever drink anything stronger than a coke?
Bus Riley: No.
Laurel: Just because your father was a lush, doesn't mean you have to be. You're missing a lot of fun.
Bus Riley: Maybe not.
Laurel: I would just love to see you get turned up sometimes.

Laurel: I bet you're afraid to kiss me.
Bus Riley: Why? Why should I be?
Laurel: Because. Because if you kiss me just once, you'd be just as hooked as you ever were.
Bus Riley: Say, doesn't that - doesn't that husband of yours ever give you any fun?

Laurel: Well, what am I gonna do now? I look forward to seeing you all day and being with you tonight. Now, I've got nothin' to do.
Bus Riley: That's your *problem*.

Bus Riley: I mean, a man isn't much of a man unless he means something to someone.

Bus Riley: Hey, Mom, do you suppose there's any way of getting rid of a - damn tattoo?