The Christmas That Almost Wasn't

I vividly remember going to see this in the movies when I was 5 Years old. The commercials promoting it on TV stick in my head also. As another reviewer said, going to the movies was a big deal then. Now that I am 43 I have been getting very nostalgic. I was very happy to see that this movie was available on DVD. When I watched the movie I was really surprised at how bad it was, as Billy Joel says in one of his songs "The good old days weren't always good" To start with the opening song "A Christmas that almost wasn't" sounds more like a halloween song, a little haunting. The colors in the movie were also very dark and drab. As for Santa "my God" what a depressing Santa he was a little whiner, I wanted to grab him ala the Godfather and say "You can act like a man" The whole movie is just cheaply done, songs and everything. This is a case of my childhood memories playing tricks on me. Oh well there's always Rudolph.

This obscure Italian musical fantasy was actually made in the then-prevalent style: elaborately-mounted, garishly-colored and broadly comic in tone (bringing to mind both THE GREAT RACE {1965}, with Rossano Brazzi's Phineas T. Prune looking quite a bit like Jack Lemmon's Professor Fate from that film and CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG {1968}, which also involved a child-hating villain) – in fact, it comes complete with an animated title sequence! Incidentally, the anti-Christmas feeling inherent within the film would turn up again the same year in Chuck Jones' animated rendition of Dr. Seuss' HOW THE GRINCH STOLE Christmas (by the way, I will be checking out the 2000 live-action version as part of my ongoing Christmas binge)! Writer/director/star Brazzi – who, curiously enough, died on Christmas Eve 1994 – had already proved his vocal mettle (in heavily-accented English) with the popular musical SOUTH PACIFIC (1958). For the record, this was his first of only 3 directorial efforts – the others being no less intriguing, and admirably versatile, namely the caper CRIMINAL AFFAIR (1968) and the giallo PSYCHOUT FOR MURDER (1969; which I have opted to acquire in its original cut, since a 'harder' version was commissioned for the overseas market that reportedly saw the involvement of cult figure Renato Polselli!).

Anyway, while the film under review emerges as no unsung gem, it was a harmless and surprisingly engaging addition to the Yuletide movie lore, its plot also recalling the seasonal perennials MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET (1947; in view of the fact that the real Santa Claus seeks employment in a department store to fill just that role!) and the much-filmed "A Christmas Carol" (given Prune's eventual softening). The songs (music by future Jess Franco{!} regular Bruno Nicolai and lyrics by one Paul Tripp, who also co-stars as the lawyer – Brazzi's own neighbor! – helping Santa thwart the villain's plans to disrupt the eagerly-awaited festivities) are hardly classics, but the title tune in particular is quite pleasant. Being an international production (here presented dubbed in English albeit still sporting the original Italian credits), Father Christmas is played by an unknown Italian actor (Alberto Rabagliati) – who, amusingly, gets the shivers in having to deal with children, since he usually encounters them while they are asleep (similarly, he and Tripp get carried away trying out the toys in the store, which merely elicits a head-shaking reaction from prospective customers)! His spouse, then, is played by Brazzi's own second wife (Lydia) and the wiry elderly clerk at Santa's workshop is the ever-reliable character actor Mischa Auer in one of his last films. Typically, a number of midgets are behind the bearded fat man in the red suit or, more precisely, the toys he distributes door-to-door all around the world every Christmas Eve.

With respect to Prune's beef with the Christmas period, it transpires that he has purchased the entire North Pole so that, knowing Santa will not be able to pay the lease, he can evict the latter (which Brazzi takes great pleasure in, turning up every day like clockwork expressly to upset the old man's meal!) and, therefore, no toys will be manufactured and delivered from then on! In fact, Santa takes up the extra employment in order to meet his new landlord's demands (which the latter nips in the bud by purchasing the establishment too and firing St. Nick and his attorney on the spot!). Incidentally, one quibble I have with films purporting to present the Real McCoy: if Santa is supposed to be the be-all-and-end-all of Christmas gifts (in that he has to bring them personally to kids, with his herd of reindeer and all), where do the plentiful toys in sundry department stores across the globe come from?! As expected, Brazzi's scheme (aided in his nefarious exploits by cadaverous butler John Karlsen) is ultimately foiled, with children everywhere willingly giving their pocket money to save Santa from his predicament. Prune, on the other hand, is revealed to have believed in Father Christmas himself once upon a time…but his letter asking for a sail-boat had gotten misplaced, and this was the reason he grew up detesting all things connected to the proverbial 'jolly' season!

Santa has to get a job as Santa to earn money to pay his overdue rent bill.

The usual problems of an Italian film are present here, most notably the bad dubbing. But actually the dubbing could be far worse. And the picture quality is surprisingly good for the era.

One could say the film lacks originally. There are obvious nods to "A Christmas Carol", for example. But it does have its own special appeal. The elves are interesting and their head bookkeeper happens to be a very well-known American actor... how he ended up in this mess is probably a story in itself.

In all fairness this is your quintessential movie from the 60s. The plot is loose, the acting is dry, and the budget is low. However, I can see the charm it had in its time, especially to children. My first time seeing it was tonight with the Mystery Science Theatre however and that was absolutely more enjoyable than the original would have been.

I have wonderful memories of viewing this film. One of the staples of the Christmas season was the weekend matinées of "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't." I remember seeing it with my mother and brothers; I suspect I have the same nostalgia for it that Whittier expressed for his youth in "Snow-Bound." However, we have to be real: after a 35 year absence, I noticed the film in the TV listings and I practically forced my kids to watch it. It was only then I realized with some disappointment how...well...imperfect...the film was. Part of this was due to a rather awful print and the choppy way the station presented it (the startlingly touching finale involving Prune had been butchered out.) It is a part of our youth; it is probably best it remain there. I still love the film and my memories of the time in which it appeared and the big deal we made out of it; sadly, it just doesn't translate today.