Ringo Starr credited as playing...
- Ringo: What was it that first attracted you to me?
- John: Well, you're very polite, aren't you?
- John: [finding a season ticket in his soup] What's this?
- Ringo: A season ticket. What do you think it is?
- John: Oh. I like a lot of seasoning in me soup.
- Superintendent: So this is the famous ring?
- Ringo: I'm in fear of me life, you know!
- Superintendent: And these are the famous Beatles?
- John: So this is the famous Scotland Yard, eh?
- Superintendent: And how long do you think you'll last?
- John: Can't say fairer than that. The Great Train Robbery, eh? How's that going?
- Ringo: The Fire Brigade once got my head out of some railings.
- John: Did you want them to?
- Ringo: No, I used to leave it there when I wasn't using it for school. You can see a lot of the world from railings.
- Ringo: They have to paint me red before they chop me. It's a different religion from ours. I think.
- John: [to Ringo whose arm is trapped inside a mail box] What are you doing?
- Ringo: Posting a letter.
- [Ringo's hand is trapped in the sandwich dispenser]
- Ringo: Hey someone's got hold of me finger!
- John: Are you trying to attract attention again?
- [after a failed attempt to steal Ringo's ring]
- Ringo: Hey! You've been messing about with me in my kip!
- John: Eh?
- Ringo: No, I mean, you know, with a fishing rod.
- John: I wouldn't touch it with a plastic one. What are you doing on the floor?
- Ringo: I'm tired.
- George: Hey, you're all red again.
- Ringo: I know, I'm beginning to like it!
- John: Stop dragging things down to your own level, it's immature son.
- Ringo: I thought, Well I... I thought she was a sandwich, 'til she went spare on me hand.
- Ringo: [Ringo approaches the bar and asks for] Two lagers and lime and two lagers and lime
- John: Oh, why don't you chop it off, Ringo?
- Ringo: Look John, I've had some great times with this finger.
- [to Paul]
- Ringo: And how do you know I wouldn't miss it?
- Paul: You're a rat underneath, aren't you?
- Superintendent: Oh come on now lads, don't be windy, where's that famous pluck?
- John: I haven't got any, have you George?
- George: Did have.
- Paul: I have had.
- Ringo: I will have! Lead on!
- Ringo: [to Clang after he has taken off the ring and put it on Clang] Get sacrificed! I don't subscribe to your religion!
- John: How do you feel?
- [puts light bulb to Ringo's mouth like a microphone]
- Ringo: I used to use my hands.
- John: [speaks into "microphone" in funny voice] He used to use his hands.
- Ringo: I like operations. They give you a sense of outlook, don't they?
- [In disguise at the airport. Newspapers have discovered their destination]
- Ringo: Okay, who let it out?
- John: Nobody'll know!
- Paul: We're not going there.
- John: We just put it 'round we're going there.
- Paul: We're not going there!
- John: We just put it 'round we're going there!
- George: Just so everybody'd think we were going there.
- Ringo: I'd like to go there.
- John: You wouldn't like it.
- Ringo: Where are we going, then?
- John: Never you mind.
- Ringo: [Paul returns to normal after hiding in the ashtray on the floor] Look!
- Paul: Yech, I'm all sticky.
- [sees Ringo covered in paint]
- Paul: You're all red!
- [Paul tracking foot prints]
- Paul: Easterner with greasy feet speak with fork tongue.
- John: Does he? What's he say?
- Paul: Passing this way, hot foot, many moons to temple.
- George: Don't encourage him. You've got the part Paul!
- John: Dare we ask how you know?
- Ringo: How?
- Paul: How? I saw these footprints and this guide book which points out places of local worship.
- John: To the temple!
