Once Before I Die

John Derek has never made a good movie in his life. He's been IN some good ones, but he's never MADE a good one, and there's no better example of his almost complete lack of talent as a filmmaker than this. He takes a potentially interesting story--the guerrilla war waged against the Japanese after their takeover of the Philippines in World War II--and for some reason turns it into a game of who's going to nail Ursula Andress before the Japanese kill everybody. Derek apparently thought that the sight of Andress, his wife (or girlfriend, or whatever she was) at that time, in various stages of undress was enough to draw people into the theaters (it wasn't). Because of that, he obviously paid no attention whatsoever to minor things like having a coherent script, directing the other actors, maintaining a semblance of continuity--trivial matters like that. The only saving grace (professionally, that is) is Richard Jaeckel's performance as a soldier eventually driven insane by the fighting. Jaeckel was always one of the most watchable actors around; he had that cockiness and explosive quality that Cagney had, and no matter how lousy the movie was (like this one), he always pulled it up a couple of notches. Unfortunately, he wouldn't have been able to pull this thing up with a crane. Its infuriating pretentiousness is its main undoing. The dialogue is so Ed Woods-ian in its rambling, nonsensical "what-the-HELL-are-they-talking-about?" absurdity that you finally find yourself wishing that the Japanese would come in, whack everybody and put the cast--and the audience--out of their misery. An absolutely painful experience that makes you wonder, "How in God's name did he get anyone to put up the money to make this thing?" Skip it.

What a waste of time confusing. pointless and annoying. The action scenes in this were stupid beyond belief. Why would you drive around in circles in a truck whilst trying to shoot a passing aircraft with a machine gun you're not aiming? Sticking red circles on a Sherman tank does not make it Japanese! I know they weren't really central to the plot - if you can call it that but still what a crock o crap. So many scenes were unexplained, why would senior officers be sitting in a strip club with enlisted men and then brawling? Why didn't they believe Custer about the rear guard action? Why is Custer allowed to cut the sleeves off his shirt and wear it like that? How does Ursula keep her outfit clean and pressed after jumping in every river she sees? Oh and another thing - why, after the battle, does Custer hand Alex his .45? She's never touched a gun before and never shown any interest! Disjointed and without flow, I really regretted watching this one through to the end. it's dire!

J

The title's an obvious come-on for another of those movies in which John Derek showed off his latest trophy wife - in this case Ursula Andress, first seen tossing back her head as she rides down some rapids. While Richard Jaeckel as a rugged sergeant should have got danger money for submitting to that haircut.

This film, in spite of a few capable performers, like Ron Ely and Richard Jaeckel, for example, deserved to be left in the jungles of the Philippines from whence it came. Ursula Andress (once dubbed by the press as "Ursula Undress") is nice to look at, but in this film she hasn't much to do except show off her well-nourished superstructure through anachronistic wet clothing - The screenplay certainly doesn't show off her acting ability. John Derek treats her contributions to this picture like one of those front-page, soft-focus pictorials in "Playboy" that Andress (and, subsequent subject Linda Evans) did so often throughout the 1960s and 70s. For better material featuring Ursula Andress, see "Dr. No" (1962) and "Casino Royale" (1967). What a waste of time for anyone looking for serious drama about the post-Pearl Harbor Philippine invasion of 1941-42.

Failed war film with Ursula Andress and John Derek

When his acting career was no longer going well, John Derek (1926-1998) tried his hand at directing. Not a bad idea in itself, but talent should be there. Filming for the Hollywood major WARNER BROTHERS took place in the Philippines.

In 1941, the Americans stationed in the Philippines are enjoying life: the beautiful Swiss woman Alex (Ursula Andress) is sailing through wild waters in a canoe, her tanned fiancé, Major Bailey (John Derek), is having fun playing polo with his men. Suddenly an air raid by the Japanese and all hell breaks loose! Alex - contrary to her gray-haired lover's urgent orders - doesn't get to safety in Manila in time, but first picks up her sweet puppies. Missed airplane! You can't be that stupid! Now the breathtaking beauty has to fight her way through the jungle with the major's troops, always accompanied by Japanese attacks. Soon there are the first victims: the major also dies when he discovers a cuddly toy for his beloved and clumsily loses his hand grenade. WUMMS! Can that be grasped? From now on it's all about who can land with Alex to become the Major's successor. The men blithely fawn over the beautiful woman, who repeatedly emerges from various rivers with a soaking wet blouse. A well-built captain (Ron Ely from the upcoming TARZAN television series) tries hard. The fanatical, sadistic Lieutenant Custer (really good: Richard Jaeckel) enjoys killing the enemy, but he is a little afraid of the dream woman. However, a shy 22-year-old (one-hit wonder Rod Lauren) wins the jackpot. He confesses to the beautiful Swiss woman that he has never slept with a woman. One more time - before I die! Of course the blonde beauty helps out and fulfills the virgin soldier's deepest desire. During a Japanese tank attack, she gives herself to him in the tall grasses of the Philippines. Oh, that's nice! Dreams come true! Then the inevitable end can come...

You can tell that war slaughter is unpleasantly mixed with erotic kitsch here. Without the involvement of his wife Ursula Andress (their marriage had long since divorced before the film's premiere), John Derek would certainly not have been able to raise the film's budget. But portraying her as a naive sexual object in the chaos of war doesn't seem very credible. John Derek, who completed his military service in the Philippines, can be credited for having an eye for the country and its people. However, the gimmicks with frozen images and crossfades seem too trying and don't fit with the plot. Richard Jaeckel in the role of the nasty bald berserker is really good. Marlon Brando was able to copy a lot of things for his Colonel Kurtz. But this storyline is pushed far too much into the background by the flat waste of Golden Globe winner Ursula Andress as an erotic eye-catcher.

Conclusion: If you enjoy admiring the beautiful Ursula Andress in a confusing war film, you will get your money's worth here. For everyone else, this film has rightly been forgotten.