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Ship of Fools (1965)

Oskar Werner: Dr. Wilhelm Schumann

Ship of Fools

Oskar Werner credited as playing...

Dr. Wilhelm Schumann

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Quotes18

  • La Condesa: I'm sure you never have any problems sleeping.
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: No, never.
  • La Condesa: Tell me your secret.
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: A clear conscience, of course.
  • La Condesa: [sarcastically] That's a neat trick: having a clear conscience when you work as a doctor on a ship which has six hundred people living on an open deck.
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: What are you laughing at?
  • La Condesa: My house has been burned, they have taken everything I had - now I am being taken to prison to an island I know nothing about, and you are giving me a Sunday School sermon.
  • La Condesa: To think, isn't it wonderful: two strangers on a ship - we will never meet again. We can talk - we can talk like friends, or even lovers... we can talk like two people who meet on the other side of the grave.
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: Keep talking.
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: [looks enchanted] You're so strange. Sometimes you're so bitter, then you're soft and warm like a child.
  • La Condesa: [smiles plainly] I'm just a woman
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: Who puts 600 people on a deck with only two outlets to wash?
  • Lt. Huebner: Huh, you don't know them; they wouldn't wash if they could. You don't know what pigs they are.
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: The deck is to be cleaned. Bring the hoses out.
  • Lt. Huebner: The hoses?
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: Bring the hoses out, I said!
  • Lt. Huebner: I cannot turn the hoses on them.
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: It's better to turn the hoses on them than for them live this way, no?
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: I wonder if it's true, that life is as stupid and meaningless as it seems to be on this ship.
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: You just can't take pills every time you can't sleep or any time you want to be stimulated or sedated.
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: When I had my heart attack, there was a dream I had. You can talk about death - I've seen it many times as a doctor - but you never know what it's like until it happens to you... I dreamt I had already died. I dreamt I was in a box with sweat broke out all over my body. I wanted to cry out 'I can't be dead, I haven't lived!'.
  • Capt. Thiele: Who has?
  • Capt. Thiele: I'm glad to get out of Veracruz. The whole damn country is ready to explode. Well, did you get a look at them? Anything interesting? Anything interesting at all?
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: There is a dwarf. That high.
  • [holds his hand level with his hip]
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: A couple of young American painters. And a Jewish salesman - with an infectious sense of humor.
  • Capt. Thiele: Women, Willie. Women!
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: Well, a rather attractive middle-aged American woman, but I'm afraid she's too far from the cradle for you.
  • Capt. Thiele: Those are the kind that can sometimes appreciate what they are getting.
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: What are you laughing at?
  • La Condesa: My house has been burned. They've taken everything I had. Now, I'm being taken to prison to an island I know nothing about. And you're giving me a Sunday school sermon.
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: You can put your robe back on, now.
  • La Condesa: You gonna help me?
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: Your Doctor may have helped you to often.
  • La Condesa: I'm very helpless at this moment.
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: How old are you?
  • La Condesa: Old enough, as you can see. Much too old.
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: Forty-five?
  • La Condesa: Not *that* old.
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: How old are you?
  • La Condesa: Forty-two.
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: Take off your robe.
  • La Condesa: You're sure you're the ship's doctor?
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: Oh, I am the ship's doctor.
  • [La Condesa removes her robe]
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: Lean forward please. What is it?
  • La Condesa: Your hands are cold.
  • La Condesa: What about your childhood? Did nothing gay ever happen to you, at all?
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: No. I was the perfect dupe. I believed anything anybody told me. I was full of the highest hopes and the most unbelievable innocents. However, it's true, at the age of 12, I did have an experience with the housekeeper. It left an indelible impression on me, shocked my mother to no end, and cost the poor girl her job.
  • La Condesa: Well, There is hope for you, after all.
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: Our biggest mission in life is to avoid being fools.
  • [takes a sip of brandy]
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: And we wind up being the biggest fools of all.
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: When I think of the things I have seen on this ship. The stupid cruelties. The vanities! We talk about values? There's no values. They're done with.
  • Capt. Thiele: What would you have liked to have been, Willy?
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: A good doctor.
  • Capt. Thiele: Don't you think you are?
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: Fair to middlin'.
  • Capt. Thiele: What should I tell them this time?
  • Dr. Wilhelm Schumann: Tell them anything you like. Tell them I had to fix the toilets.

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