The Wizard of Mars

It's certainly not the best movie, and it's definitely not the worst either...but it is very slow going.

I remember seeing this as a child and never knowing what movie it was...I remember the walk through the volcanic interior of Mars and the part where the hapless astronauts find the oxygen containers...and the run out of the Martian City...but I for the life of me do not remember seeing that inane "yellow brick road", nor the actually pretty scary-looking Martians...lord knows that woulda really scared the beejezus out of me.

Like I said in the title, it's got John Carradine and it's in color. Sums it up pretty well I think.

This low-budget film from 1965 is set in the distant future of 1975. It tells the story of an American spacecraft with four people on-board that crash lands on Mars. There's a kind of twist at the end that renders this synopsis somewhat incorrect. The story actually has a theme to it, which relates to the passage of time. And there are a couple of references to "The Wizard Of Oz".

But overall, it's a slow moving boring affair that tests the viewer's patience. The character named Charlie, second in command, looks like a high school dropout who joined a circus. Much of the dialogue has each crew member informing another crew member of technical information that all four should have known about long before they ever left Earth. All this talky exposition is for the benefit of the viewer, of course. The woman, named Dorothy, whimpers: "Steve, what are we going to do now?" Responds Steve: "We'll have to run for it" ... a crew of real knowledgeable astronauts there.

On Mars, lots of screen time is spent just wandering around their surroundings, making stupid comments and asking dumb questions. In these sequences, the dialogue occurs while the camera is quite some distance from the characters, giving the impression that the visuals were shot first, with the dialogue superimposed in post edit.

Later, they encounter live beings, sort of. And the wizard finally makes an appearance well into the second half. When he does, he speaks in English, conveniently, and his voice has an echo chamber quality to it. He launches into a laughable, loquacious monologue that goes on for a tortuous four minutes. It's one of the more humorous parts of the film.

Special effects look cheap, though I did find the reddish, pink colors marginally convincing, given this is the red planet. Casting and acting are poor. Dialogue is awful. Scientific credibility is nonexistent. At least the script made an effort to create some thematic heft. And for me that's what saved "The Wizard Of Mars" from being a total cinematic disaster.

I bought the video originally because the box said that Lon Chaney and John Carradine were in it. Well, Lon was nowhere to be found and this flick is not part of his filmography. However, John's head was in it, so that's no lie! The box art was also exciting-looking as it proclaimed the flick was titled "Horrors of the Red Planet." Well, its really "Wizard of Mars," but I would have called it "The Insomnia Cure of the Red Planet." "Wizard" resembles a large budget student film of wannabe filmmakers who must have been using this production for practice and who may (or likely did not) go on to better things. An amateurish looking drywall "spaceship," Death Valley-style desertscape, Carlsbad caverns, and what looks like a warehouse set the scene. Our band of high school play dropout explorers land on Mars and discover an ancient civilization replete with aliens housed in tubes (that have mud packs for makeup) and eventually the alien disembodied "Wizard" image of a John Carradine (desperate for work). The Wizard's "city," as depicted in miniature, looks like an aquarium castle, with a sun shining over it as if with a flashlight shot through a bedsheet in a darkened room. I could go on for several paragraphs with descriptions about the almost scene by scene mistakes of logic, science, bad acting/script/staging, etc...ad nauseum. Perhaps thats why I find this film so fascinating...it has so many mistakes, its an adventure to find them. Only the atmospheric photography in a few scenes and the sci-fi-weird music was really of note.

Four astronauts crash-land on the surface of Mars, where they encounter strange lifeforms; travel by land and by raft; and arrive at an ancient city. All while a narrator drones on, and "eerie" sound effects intone.

THE WIZARD OF MARS is a silly sci-fi epic, loosely based on THE WIZARD OF OZ. Indeed, the female astronaut's name is Dorothy, and there's even a "golden road" to follow. John Carradine puts in a cameo as the title character (aka: a histrionic, floating head). His ultra-melodramatic speech seems endless!

If ye be fearless amidst atrocious "acting"; unflinching in the face of brain-drilling "dialogue"; and plot is of no real importance to ye, then enter herein...

Hewitt's "Gallery Of Horrors" is one of the great "so bad it's good" funny films, and his really stupid "Monsters Crash the Pajama Party" is inept but a lot less amusing. so the genuine qualities of "Wizard Of Mars" caught me off guard. It's video title "Horrors Of The Red Planet" is actually a lot better and more fitting. I hate to get into a fight here about the obvious merits of MST3K, who did not even do this movie, but it would have in fact been a bad choice for the show, as the film does have a strange, hypnotic effect that goes along with the clumsy flubs one expects from a Hewitt film. The film has a dream like quality, and it's strange story seems, yes, an interesting forerunner to "2001".

Three of Hewitt's "Gallery Of Horrors" stars (Carridine, Roger Gentry, and Vic McGee) are back. McGee does the best work of his career, even toping his

sleazy ganster in Ed Wood's "Sinister Urge." Opps, there I go. Actually, Vic McGee is a terrible actor who appeared in a handful of grade Z films, but his work here is somehow moving. See, this movie just won't let you make fun of it. I don't know if the actress is overdubbing her own voice, but they should have found a better one to use(the whole movie is overdubbed). In any case, see this film. It's right up there with "Creation Of The Humanoids" in the strange department.