Frank Gorshin credited as playing...
The Riddler
- The Riddler: You and your trained exploding shark!
- The Penguin: Ah, crack! How should I to know they'd have a can of Shark Repellent Bat-Spray handy? Why, you sniveling sardine!
- The Riddler: And you pompous, puffed-up Penguin!
- The Riddler: I see the way to do it! We'll play each of our treacherous trumps in one hand, and we'll do it right here!
- The Penguin: How?
- The Riddler: How? The end! The end, oh...
- [giggles]
- The Riddler: We shall spring them from the Joker's jack-in-the-box through that window, out over the sea, and into the waiting arms of the Penguin's exploding octopus!
- [giggles again]
- The Riddler: The trigger: one of my riddles, of course, and the bait: you! Catwoman!
- The Riddler: [referring to Batman and Robin, of the Penguin] They've already been through one of his fishy explosions, and yet they're still very much alive!
- The Catwoman: Riddler.
- The Riddler: Yes?
- The Catwoman: You're mad, Riddler. Penguin finished Batman by now.
- The Riddler: Why, that miserable waddling mountebank of a bird! He couldn't finish a bag of popcorn!
- The Catwoman: [speaking to her pet cat, Hecate] Sic 'em, Hecate. Scratch out their eyes.
- The Penguin: Take away that ravenous panther!
- The Riddler: So help me, Catwoman, I'll feed him to the birds.
- The Joker: I'll incapacitate the beast with my trick confetti!
- The Riddler: The Dynamic Duo has been silenced forever.
- The Joker: And blasted out of the sky by a coincidence! Oh, the delicious irony of it! Downed by one of Riddler's Polaris skywriters.
- The Penguin: Oh, happy happenstance! Now, hold your breaths as we cross the hall. There are still lingering traces of my finely filtered Penguin gas.
- The Riddler: Question: Who's going to make the feathers fly and knock Batman and Robin out of the sky?
- The Joker: Suppose Penguin did fail! All the more reason not to hand them your crazy clues!
- The Riddler: Oh, but I must, I must! Why, outwitting Batman is my sole delight, my Heaven on Earth, my very Paradise!
- The Riddler: This bird has flown around the bend.
- The Joker: Too cuckoo to land!
- The Catwoman: Riddler! Joker! Do something! We weren't meant for a watery grave, DO SOMETHING!
- The Joker: Now hear this! Now hear this! Blow all tanks! Surface! Surface!
- The Riddler: How did it go, Catwoman?
- The Catwoman: Purrfectly. Purrfectly. In my disguise as Kitka, I penetrated their press conference. The fools are completely baffled.
- The Penguin: Capital! But who are we going to kidnap?
- The Riddler: I know the perfect victim. I know the perfect victim! l know the perfect victim! Bruce Wayne, the millionaire head of that disgusting do-gooding Wayne Foundation.
- The Joker: Oooh! Oooh! Delicious! Just the sort of square citizen Batman will dash to rescue!
- The Riddler: You and your reconditioned war surplus torpedoes!
- The Penguin: He must be using a super energy reverse polarizer!