Alan Bates credited as playing...
Jos Jones
- Jos Jones: [visiting Meredith in the maternity ward, shortly after she's given birth] How are you feeling?
- Meredith: Lousy.
- Meredith: [glancing at the newborn baby] Well? Aren't you going to look at it? This is your marvelous child you couldn't bear being destroyed, remember?
- Meredith: [while Jos gets up and looks at the baby] It's hideous. I hate it... It gave me hell.
- Jos Jones: [looking at the baby, rather indifferently] All new babies look like that. You'll like it when it's a bit older.
- Meredith: Oh no. I want it adopted. Now.
- Jos Jones: [He sits back down] I've got a rotten headache. Have you got any aspirin or dope or anything?
- Meredith: [scoffs] Huh! Not that I couldn't use it myself... How do you feel about adoption, anyway? If I ask the nurses here, they'll plague me with sermons.
- Jos Jones: You're a bitch.
- Meredith: You're a bastard.
- Jos Jones: Georgina! George, where are you? You great, sexy beast! I'm free! Hey. I've chucked in that god-awful job at the bank and I'm free. Now we can spend all day in bed together. Hey, where are you? Hey, where are you hiding that great, seraphic body of yours, eh? Come out! Come out. Come out. Come out.
- [undressing, he stops short when he sees the health inspector]
- Health Visitor: Mr Jones?
- Jos Jones: [while making out, he inexplicably stops] That's enough of that, Georgy.
- Georgy: Why? I like it! Why are you stopping? I know I'm not pretty like Meredith.
- Jos Jones: [she cries] Oh, god, no. You're not like Meredith. Well, I couldn't go to bed with you like I do with her, then grab a tomato sandwich and then rush out and catch the 72 bus. Hey. With you, it would be just one long, drawn-out bloody drama. All this whining and carrying on. You know, the trouble with you is you could say that you're a good girl. So I'm sorry, lass.
- Jos Jones: Where's that rude girl, eh? Lying lasciviously in bed? Contemplating in the loo? Aha! Lounging in the bath.
- [singing]
- Jos Jones: You'll look a little lovelier each day.
- Georgy: She's gone out, Jos. She had to. Suddenly.
- Jos Jones: Uh-huh. I brought some supper for the two of us.
- Georgy: [tasting a morsel] Mm. Soggy.
- Jos Jones: I meant Meredith and me.
- Georgy: Obviously.
- Jos Jones: And now she's out. Did she say any time?
- Georgy: 8:00, Uh, 7:30.
- Jos Jones: Get out the Scrabble, then.
- Georgy: O-C-H-R-E. Ochre. I win!
- Jos Jones: Oh! I had "ZHO". Z-H-O.
- Georgy: Hey, what's that when it's at home?
- Jos Jones: A Himalayan ox.
- Georgy: Truly?
- Jos Jones: Truly.
- Georgy: Had some good words. "Catagmatic". "Sostenuto".
- Jos Jones: One of the few advantages of a musical education, my dear.
- Georgy: [he whistles Beethoven's Fifth Symphony] You ought to leave that bank, Jos. Go back to your proper work.
- Jos Jones: I wish I could, George. But second-rate flautists are fourteen for tuppence.
- Jos Jones: I don't want to save anybody. That's where you're a freak, Georgy. Not being big and ugly and all that, it's this wanting to save people.
- Jos Jones: [joking about] Quit stalling. I'll pump you full of lead. You're a two-timing broad.
- Georgy: No, not broad.
- Jos Jones: Yes. Very long. Very long, but you're a broad too. Hey! Are you longer than you are broad? Or is your broad broader than your long? Hey? How is your broader anyway and your sister?
- Meredith: I'm bored. Bored living with Georgy. I think we ought to get married. We don't fight, we love it in bed, and - well, that's about it, really.
- Jos Jones: You must be pregnant.
- Meredith: Yes.
- Jos Jones: Meredith, there's absolutely no point at all in us getting married when I know nothing about you except - well, things that I don't like.
- Jos Jones: I'll stop at nothing. I'm gonna strip stark-naked if you don't come home with me right now. You don't believe me, do you?
- Jos Jones: Look at us. Here we are, sitting by the light of the silvery telly. We're like the old married couple.