Aleksandr Demyanenko credited as playing...
Shurik
- Shurik: What did he say?
- Nina's uncle: He says if you refuse, they'll knife you. That's a joke.
- Balbes: Joke.
- Shurik: A joke. Okay.
- comrade Saakhov: You have a wrong idea about our parts. As we all know, Kuzbass is... national smithy. Kuban is a national granary. And the Caucasus is a national what?
- Shurik: Health resort!
- comrade Saakhov: Wrong! It's a national smithy, granary and health resort.
- Nina's uncle: The custom prescribes doing it naturally. The bride will offer resistance, she'll kick, bite, call the police, cry "I'm going to complain to authorities!" You ignore her, it's a fine custom.
- Shurik: I see. Not to worry, it will all be natural.
- Shurik: What is the ritual called?
- Nina's uncle: Abduction of the bride.
- Shurik: Abduction?
- Nina's uncle: Not quite. The bride wants to be abducted. Her parents don't mind. According to our custom, the bride should be stolen before registration.
- Shurik: Stolen? It's a beautiful custom. Where do I come in?
- Nina's uncle: Catch the bride.
- Shurik: Catch...
- Nina's uncle: Shove her into the bag.
- Shurik: The bag? Is it the custom too? Fantastic!
- Nina's uncle: And give her to whom?
- Shurik: The enamoured man.
- Nina's uncle: Nope. Friends of the enamoured man.
- Shurik: Oh, friends!
- Nina's uncle: Such is the custom.