Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die

Mercifully not nearly as offensive as that title suggests (which the makers were actually proud enough of to base a title song on) although the threatening names as producer and director of Dino De Laurentis and Henry Levin serve as ample warning that the results will be predictably banal; the biggest surprise in the credits being the name of the distinguished TV writer Jack Pulman.

Chuck Connors is personable enough foiling a particularly daft scheme by Raf Vallone to rule the world, but what makes the film is a lively Dorothy Provine as an English agent with a cut-glass accent and her very own Parker in the form of Terry-Thomas.

Am i the only person in the world who has noticed that the Brazil/Rio sequence of "Moonraker" is an uncredited remake of this major parts of this film, swapping the sexes of the CIA and Brit agents?

Well, it is.

Even the sequence in the bedroom where Bond and the CIA grrl show each other their gadgets is straight out of "Kiss the Girls...".

This seems to be a light knock-off of Bond films of the era but certainly not as well done or fun. The positives are Mike Connors and great scenery in Rio, so its a decent watch if you have nothing else to do. The plot is not well presented early on but you will get the idea who the villain is, who the protaganist is, and the grand plan the villain has to take over the world. I guess that's all you need to know, but it isn't very satisfying. Some plot points are a little confusing with an example of a diary, which seems to be important...and then it doesn't. It has decent action sequences, silly car chases, and lame gadgets. I would rate this a 5.5, OK but not good.

All four main actors, which I've seen in many other movies, they have surpassed my expectations here in a good way. I'm talking about Mike Connors, Dorothy Provine, Raf Vallone and Terry-Thomas. They are all very good, due to the script and Henry Levin's good direction (together with Arduino Maiuri, who has directed only another film except this one). It's a delicious comedy, parodying spy movies, that is, the James Bond genre. And, not accidentally, in a Bond called "Moonraker," they were inspired by this movie, so well is done (this one, because, "Moonraker", just between me and you, it's probably the worst Bond). The beauties called Margaret Lee, Nicoletta Machiavelli, Marilu Tolo, they appear just a little bit, almost not at all. Instead, Dorothy Provine appears in full and she is delicious. Funny character Hans Thorner as Krüger. Very smart film, entertaining, a real beautiful surprise!

Kiss the Girls and Make them Die has a great title, and since it was shot in 1966, great chic value at this point. Plus it was a studio movie with enough budget to be shot with top shelf cinematography, film stock, and sets (including locations in Brazil), but the actors don't really carry it over the top. Mike Connors is recognizable and active, but his lines aren't the best. It's not edgy or intense enough to shadow James Bond, and not camp enough to be Matt Helm. It's quite a blah in between. ANother problem is there are a LOT ofstylistic and plot 'borrowings' from the specific Bond movie You Only Live Twice, and this undermines it being a parody. Then there are moments when the film inexplicably fails to capitalize on both small and big moments, and just kind of lets them drift away, which is frustrating because at other times you're marvelling at the frame and sets.

Most of the female actresses are forgettable, particularly the one who develops into the lead. The arch villain is threatening, but also not maximized, and his henchman is particularly uninteresting, and unconvincing as a bad guy. THe film switches up between serious and campy, and it's just not written clever enough to pull it off.

That said, the movie is visually gorgeous, with shots of a Rio De Janiero in the late 1960s, with one fantastic interior after another, a mix of Brazilian culture with mid-century modern. You want to see a Rolls Royce driving a jungle road? You'll see it here. It's too bad the leads weren't more engaging, or given more character in the script to work with.