Dean Martin credited as playing...
Sam Hollis
- [last lines]
- [an oil gusher erupts from the grave Lt. Sibley was digging]
- Kronk: Every time dig hole, black poison shoot up! Now have to move town.
- Don Andrea Baldasar: [disgusted] Texas. Pah!
- Sam Hollis: Eh, if it was up to me, I'd give it back to the Indians.
- Iron Jacket: Who wants it?
- [Sam and Baldy's "duel" ends when both men come face-to-face without drawing]
- Sam Hollis: Well, what are you waiting for?
- Don Andrea Baldasar: For you to start... itching.
- Phoebe Ann Naylor: Well, it's plain to see you're no gentleman!
- [admiring Phoebe Ann's figure barely concealed by a wet blanket]
- Sam Hollis: Well, it's plain to see you're not one, either.
- Don Andrea Baldasar: This is night. Are you going to sleep?
- Sam Hollis: Well, it ain't healthy to travel through Comanche territory in the daytime, so we'll travel at night.
- Don Andrea Baldasar: Oh, when we ride, the savage sleeps. Yes?
- Sam Hollis: Yep. Them Comanches believe the moon is an evil spirit.
- Sam Hollis: Why, you dumb, fool tenderfoot! Are you trying to take on that whole tribe single-handed?
- Don Andrea Baldasar: When one is alone, one must become an army.
- Don Andrea Baldasar: You stand so; I stand so. And then...
- Sam Hollis: Back to back? Now what kind of shootout is that?
- Don Andrea Baldasar: Please Sam Hollis. I have dueled many times in Spain and I'm...
- Sam Hollis: But this isn't Spain - it's Texas!
- Don Andrea Baldasar: Even a simple duel you cannot perform in a civilized manner!
- Sam Hollis: We have had civilized killings around here for years. I come from one end of town like this and you come from the other end... and you get the itch, you draw.
- [during an Indian attack, the settlers run out of ammunition]
- Kronk: Gun empty.
- Sam Hollis: Yell, "Bang-bang."
- Kronk: For Comanche need bullets, not jokes.
- [Baldy attempts to rescue an Indian girl from a rattlesnake wielding medicine man]
- Sam Hollis: He either likes girls or he's crazy about snakes.
- Kronk: Comanche run for hills.
- [Looks at Sam Hollis]
- Kronk: Why you look so funny?
- Sam Hollis: [In Kronk's language] Too mah kunoh tee hee sooti kaygoh-honi. And one laugh outta you and I'll boot you so hard your whole tribe'll fall down.
- Don Andrea Baldasar: Ten paces.
- Sam Hollis: Ten paces?
- Don Andrea Baldasar: Why, that is customary. Do you wish to give the command to begin or shall I?
- Sam Hollis: I don't know what you got in mind, Baldy, but I'm here for a shootout.
- Don Andrea Baldasar: Precisely. You take ten steps that way; I take ten steps this way. Then we turn...
- Sam Hollis: Turn? Step? I ain't here for no square dance! Now which end of town do you want to come from?