Robert Redford credited as playing...
Paul Bratter
- Corie Bratter: My divorce! When do I get my divorce!
- Paul Bratter: How should I know? The marriage license hasn't even come in yet!
- Corie Bratter: Six days does not a week make.
- Paul Bratter: What does that mean?
- Corie Bratter: [pause] I don't know!
- Corie Bratter: [Paul has just arrived home. Corie kisses him passionately] Darling, say something.
- Paul Bratter: [gasping for air] It's six... it's six flights. Did you... did you know it's six flights?
- Corie Bratter: No it isn't, it's only five.
- Paul Bratter: What about that big thing, hanging outside the building?
- Corie Bratter: That's not a flight; it's a stoop.
- Paul Bratter: It looked like a stoop, but... climbs like a flight.
- Corie Bratter: I'm sure you can find someplace. You could stay at your club.
- Paul Bratter: It's not that kind of club. It's a locker room and a handball court. To sleep over, I'd have to keep winning the serve.
- Corie Bratter: You're a funny kind of drunk, Paul. You just sat around looking unhappy watching your coat.
- Paul Bratter: I was watching my coat because I saw someone else watching my coat.
- Corie Bratter: Paul, what's the matter?
- Paul Bratter: I just had an interesting talk with the man down in the liquor store. Do you know that we have some of the greatest weirdos in the country living right here in this building?
- Corie Bratter: No kidding! Like who?
- Paul Bratter: Well like to begin with, in Apartment 1C are the Boscos, Mr. And Mrs. J. Bosco.
- Corie Bratter: Who are they?
- Paul Bratter: Mr. and Mrs. J. Bosco are a lovely young couple who just happen to be of the same sex! And no one knows which one that is.
- Corie Bratter: [Giggles] Crazy!
- Paul Bratter: In apartment 3C are Mr. And Mrs. Gonzales...
- Corie Bratter: So?
- Paul Bratter: No, I'm not finished. Mr. And Mrs. Gonzales, Mr. And Mrs. Armandariz, and Mr. Calhoun, who must be the umpire! Who do you think lives in 4D?
- Corie Bratter: I don't know.
- Paul Bratter: Nobody else does either. Nobody's been seen going in or coming out in three years, except every morning there are nine empty cans of tuna fish outside the door.
- Corie Bratter: Who do you suppose lives there?
- Paul Bratter: Sounds like a big cat with a can opener. Oh I forgot Mr. Velasco, Victor Velasco. He lives in 6A.
- Corie Bratter: Where's that, on the roof?
- Paul Bratter: The attic. He lives in the attic! He's 58 years old, he skis, he climbs mountains, he's been married four times. He's known as the Bluebeard of 10th Street.
- Corie Bratter: What does that mean?
- Paul Bratter: I don't know. It either means he attacks girls on 10th Street or he's got a blue beard.
- Paul Bratter: And thus it was written: Some shall die by pestilence, some by the plague... and one poor schnook is gonna get it from a hole in the ceiling.
- Corie Bratter: Come down, please!
- Paul Bratter: No, not until you've said it again. Loud and clear.
- Corie Bratter: Anything Paul, anything!
- Paul Bratter: My husband...
- Corie Bratter: My husband...
- Paul Bratter: Paul Bratter...
- Corie Bratter: Paul Bratter...
- Paul Bratter: Rising young attorney...
- Corie Bratter: [Paul almost loses his footing. Corie shrieks] Rising young...! Rising young attorney...
- Paul Bratter: Is a lousy, stinking drunk!
- Corie Bratter: Is a lousy, stinking drunk. And I love him!
- Paul Bratter: I love you too, Corie. Even when I didn't like you, I loved you.
- Corie Bratter: You know what you are, Paul? You're a watcher. You're a watcher. There are watchers in this world and there are doers. And the watchers sit around watching the doers do. Well tonight you watched, and I did.
- Paul Bratter: Yeah well, it was a little bit harder to watch what you did than for you to do what I was watching.
- Paul Bratter: [Paul is moving out of the apartment] Bye, leaky closet. Bye, no bathtub. Bye, hole. Bye, six flights. Bye, Corie.
- Paul Bratter: Would you like a drink?
- Harry Pepper, Telephone man: Who?
- Paul Bratter: You.
- Harry Pepper, Telephone man: Me?
- Paul Bratter: Yeah.
- Harry Pepper, Telephone man: No.
- Paul Bratter: Right.