Robert Morse: J. Pierpont Finch

How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying

J. Pierpont Finch

Miss Jones: What's your name?
J. Pierpont Finch: Finch, F-I-N-C-H. J. Pierpont Finch.
Miss Jones: Well, why haven't I seen you before?
J. Pierpont Finch: Well, ma'am, I'm not supposed to deliver the executive mail. That's his job. Bud Frump, F-R-U-M-P.

Mr. Twimble: Last month I became a quarter-of-a-century man.
J. Pierpont Finch: Oh, that's beautiful, a quarter-of-a-century.
Mr. Twimble: Quarter-of-a-century.
J. Pierpont Finch: How long have you been in the mail room?
Mr. Twimble: Twenty-five years. It's not easy to get this medal. It takes a combination of skill, diplomacy, and bold caution.

J. Pierpont Finch: Look, even though we're all part of the cold, corporate set-up, deep down under our skins there's flesh and blood. We're all brothers.
J. B. Biggley: But, some of us are uncles.

J. Pierpont Finch: Be patient? Don't you realize I've been working here... well, two whole hours now?

J. Pierpont Finch: I feel that when a man wants to rise in the world of business, a girl, or well, let's say an emotional involvement, can only lead to getting involved - emotionally.

J. Pierpont Finch: This is the secret ingredient: it can't miss, I'm combining greed with sex.

J. B. Biggley: Do you know who I am?
J. Pierpont Finch: No, sir.
J. B. Biggley: I'm J. B. Biggley, the President of this company, that's who I am. In fact, that's who the hell I am.

Bud Frump: Are you ambitious, Finch?
J. Pierpont Finch: No, not necessarily.
Bud Frump: Good. You just keep that in mind. If you just remember who I am and who you are, we'll get along fine. If not...
Rosemary: You go crying to your uncle!
Bud Frump: I beg your pardon, I do not go crying to my uncle! It just happens my mother is Mrs. Biggley's sister. If I feel something's wrong, I phone my mother. She phones Mrs. Biggley, and Mrs. Biggley phones Mr. Biggley. That's the DEMOCRATIC way.

[There is music when Finch thinks of Rosemary]
J. Pierpont Finch: Can't you hear it? It's all around me, it's like a beautiful pink sky.
Rosemary: J. Pierpont Finch, what are you...
J. Pierpont Finch: Rosemary, darling, will you please marry J. Pierpont Finch?
Rosemary: NOW I hear it.

J. Pierpont Finch: [Twimble is singing the praises of the company] The company restaurant?
Mr. Twimble: Every day, same lunch. The haddock sandwich, it's delicious!
J. Pierpont Finch: [Unimpressed] I must try it.
Mr. Twimble: [a warning] Early in the week.

Bert O. Bratt: I'm the personnel manager. We're not hiring anyone.
J. Pierpont Finch: Well, I was just speaking to Mr. Biggley.
Bert O. Bratt: Biggley?
J. Pierpont Finch: Yes, sir.
Bert O. Bratt: J.B. Biggley?
J. Pierpont Finch: Yes, sir. He told me to see you.
Bert O. Bratt: You were speaking to J.B. Biggley himself?
J. Pierpont Finch: Yes, sir, I just - bumped into him.
Bert O. Bratt: He's a friend of yours?
J. Pierpont Finch: Well, sir, I don't think a man should trade on friendship to get a job.
Bert O. Bratt: By George, I like a man who stands on his own two feet.