The X from Outer Space

It starts with a bunch of astronauts preparing for a mission to Mars, three guys and a girl, of course (and an American girl with a crush on the Japanese mission commander at that!), while the mission commander meanwhile has an uneasy relationship with the beautiful moonbase communications officer who is a good friend of our beautiful blonde scientist (they even shower together).

Anyway, once they're enroute in space things start to happen, like blocked communications signals and asteroid showers, and a weird UFO with a tracking beam that deposits some sort of glowing spores on the ship. Naturally they bring one back and it grows into a giant semi-chicken-shaped monster who stomps off towards Tokyo. Then it becomes your typical man-in-a-suit monster movie.

Though a bit slow at the beginning, THE X FROM OUTER SPACE is one of those over-the-top silly Japanese monster movies that they just don't make anymore and is totally fun to watch because you can't believe how silly everything is. The film is very juvenile and was most likely made for 5 year old kids more than anyone else.

If you listen to the dialogue at the beginning of the film, when the astronauts are introduced, there are a lot of double entendres to be heard, like when the man tells a grinning Lisa (Peggy Neal) "However, you are to touch nothing unless specifically authorised by the Captain Sano." ARF!!! I wonder if the folks who dubbed the film deliberately made it sound so funny.

The scene on the moon or in space are pretty much pointless but they're funny nonetheless. The best thing in the movie is the monster itself, Guilala (what a sad name for a monster!). When Guilala attacks, it walks about like a drunken fool, as if it got no clue of what it was doing. Maybe the guy in the suit couldn't keep his balance because the models were so cheap and fragile. The monster's roar was really funny to hear. Like someone clearing his throat. When Guilala shoots its fireballs, it looks like he's burping them out. The whole moment when the monster destroys a building and Lisa gets trapped beneath some rubble, they make a big deal about the fact that her leg is trapped and she's in pain is priceless because soon afterwards, she walks about like nothing had happened. Another great scene is when Guilala runs after a truck. It's laugh out loud funny. But the really goofy thing about this film is how fast the characters go from the earth to the moon, and vice versa. It's like the moon was only a couple of miles away and as easy to access as the nearest shopping mall.

But the film is not all goofiness. When the monster turns into a fireball and flies about Japan, destroying everything in its path, well, the film sorta becomes cool for a fraction of a second. And the ending, when the monster is attacked for the last time, well, I felt bad for the poor old space chicken! But the producers set it up so a sequel was possible. Where's the sequel? I want to see Guilala battle Baragon. BTW, the container which holds tiny Guilala at the end looks like a camping lamp.

The worst thing about THE X FROM OUTER SPACE is the music. Aside from the fun song, the actual music used when the monster attacks is basically the same thing played repeatedly over and over. It gets really tiresome.

Words cannot adequately describe the genius of a film that is certain to be

critically examined by afficionados of the genre for years to come. Look for the inevitable Hollywood remake with Cameron Diaz cast as the female lead.

Spotlight on Guilala (pronounced GOO-LA-LA) and his agonizing struggle to

determine his/her/its own destiny, perceptible through the translucency of the classic "alien monster run amok" thematic device. Groundbreaking special

effects underscore Guilala's haunting portrayal of a space monster who is both hunter and hunted, his fate resting in the hands of one solitary American

heroine who places herself in harm's way for the greater good-the preservation of man-and more importantly-woman-kind. Peggy Neal's performance as Lisa is

astonishing, crystalline in its sensitivity. Her coif remains perfect throughout. Fans of the novel are of course among the film's harshest critics-others applaud director Kazui Nihonmatsu's unique interpretation of the original tome, myself among them. The film is more than a visual feast-it reminds viewers that the key to the centuries-old mysteries of life on Planet Earth may lie somewhere beyond the stars.

In the 70's, as a kid when looking through the new TV Guide for the week's monster movies, the only thing as good as finding a Godzilla film or two was finding the Godzilla wanna-bes, like the undeniable classic "The X From Outer Space."

"X" is probably the personification of "cheesy Japanese monster flick." This monster is silly-looking, the FX are horrid, the music is terrible, and the film is a total blast. The "X" attacking planes and destroying buildings is just good and bad enough to make everyone happy.

The reason this film is a blast is because it has a lot of charm and heart. Those are a few of the ingredients that certain giant monster films made back then lack, and that's why they are unwatchable and truly bad, while films like "X From Outer Space" are bad but have enough of those things to make it fun. When a film lacks those things and is clueless, you get dreck like "Queen Kong" and "A.P.E."

There's nothing wrong with "The X From Outer Space" if you are simply into watching fun giant monster films with actors in suits (no computer crap) stomping on miniature buildings and swatting airplanes on wires out of the sky.

Which is where they seemingly pulled this mess. A space ship on its way to Mars picks up some spores on its hull. Of course, Man being Man, the spores are brought back to earth. Funny how guys returning from, say, Africa have to pass through Customs and then through a medical quarantine, but some space spore is carried right to Earth. Needless to say, contact with Earth's atmosphere causes the spore to become Guilala (where do they come up with these names?!), a cross between a giant chicken and a dinosaur. It is a lively monster, though. You can see the spring in its step when its trashing Tokyo.

The movie has the usual trademarks of Japanese monster films -- bad dialogue (Peggy Neal's "Monsters have rights" speech ranks up there with Peter Graves' "Man has a responsibility" speech from "It Conquered The World"); atrocious dubbing (why do they dub American actors' voices); cheap special effects, and unintentional comedy. For instance, Peggy Neal, an actress who unwisely used Japan as a starting point for a failed movie career, and a Japanese astronaut (Eija Okada, sadly far removed from brilliant films like "Hiroshima, Mon Amour") bounce across the moon. You can almost see the trampolines. Another time, as Guilala moves across the countryside, a soldier on a ladder moves a cardboard cutout of the monster across a map. It reminds me of "Varan, The Unbelievable" when the army comes up with a detailed miniature model of Varan for their strategy board only minutes after the monster first appears.

The miniatures tanks and jets are sub-par even for Japanese films. In one scene, a jet gets taken out and hits the water, looking about as large as an oil tanker.

The funniest part of the movie, aside from the annoying theme song ("Stars are our destiny..."), is the monster. It looks as if the monster suit is a size too large for the actor inside. Guilala shoots fireballs so fake-looking you can almost see the strings guiding them towards the tanks and jets. The monster smashes through the cheap cardboard city buildings a little too quickly (obviously the director didn't know that slowing the film speed a little would have helped). It's roar is, at first, laughable, then, finally, just plain irritating. There's a scene later where Guilala chases after a jeep hauling a trailer full of radioactive material. The jeep's doing about 80 and Guilala's running after it in slow-motion (not the slow-mo like "Six Million Dollar Man," but as if the actor was being told to walk oddly to avoid catching up to the jeep too quickly).

I saw this film on "Creature Double Feature," a hugely popular syndicated sci-fi/horror anthology popular in the 1970's and early 80's (wow, I'm getting old). I watched it just for the laughs when I was only seven, so that shows how bad the film is if it can't get past a child.