Martin Milner credited as playing...
Mel Anderson
- Mel: You're spending a lot more time than necessary with that fag.
- Neely O'Hara: Ted Casablanca is NOT a fag... and I'm the dame who can prove it.
- Neely O'Hara: Well, what nice fattening thing did you tell Arlene to make tonight?
- Mel: Arlene quit. She said you yelled at her.
- Neely O'Hara: She was a louse anyway. You said yourself she was taking home all the booze. Other people have loyal help. Why can't we?
- Mel: You don't know how to talk to them.
- Neely O'Hara: That's your job. You'd better start running this house properly.
- Mel: I'm not the butler.
- Neely O'Hara: You're not the breadwinner either!
- Mel: The studio wants her to find out why she's so exhausted. They say they think it must be emotional conflicts. Conflicts, my foot! There aren't enough hours in the day. The head shrinker said she's - insecure. She needs mass love.
- Jennifer North: Maybe I'm lucky I don't have any talent.
- Neely O'Hara: I can't stop thinking about that audience tonight. You don't know what it feels like, Mel, when they're all applauding and yelling and whistling. They did whistle, didn't they?
- Mel: Oh, yeah, they sure did.
- Neely O'Hara: I felt like they were all taking me in their arms and holding me. It's like when you put your hands on me. Only it was - double, triple.
- Neely O'Hara: Mel, let's get married.
- Mel: I-I thought you'd never ask.
- Neely O'Hara: I'm not kidding! I'll be making good money and with your 150 we can really live! We can get a maid to clean up! We can get a mink coat.
- Mel: She's changed, Jen. She's starts at 5:30 in the morning, still punchy from last night's sleeping pills. So, she takes a red pill to pep herself up and at midnight she's still flying. I try to talk to her. It's like a brick wall.
- Jennifer North: Well, I guess that's one of the drawbacks of being a big star.
- Mel: Now, you're just like all the rest of 'em. Success is too big for you.
- Neely O'Hara: If you ask me, my success is too big - for you!
- Mel: Yeah, sure. Sugar!
- Mel: [enjoying Tony Polar's nightclub singing, where he is flirting openly with Jennifer] Miriam's not gonna like that.
- Neely O'Hara: Who's Miriam?
- Mel: His sister, over there. She manages him. She does very well. He won't make a move without her.
- Neely O'Hara: [shrugs] He's making one now.