Telly Savalas: Walter Braddock

Buona Sera, Mrs. Campbell

Walter Braddock

Justin Young: [Tallying up the amount of money they've collectively sent to Mrs. Campbell over the years] You averaged eighty-five a month, you, a hundred and fifteen, me, a hundred a forty... which, over twenty years, compounded at six percent interest, would come to a hundred and ninety seven thousand dollars.
Walter Braddock: [incredulous] A hundred and ninety seven *thousand*?... We paid more war damages than Germany!

Walter Braddock: Oh, honey. Why is it we can't say more than six words without having a beef, huh? After all, what'd I ask ya to do, huh? Take my laundry down to the river and pound it with rocks? All I want for you is to go to the beauty parlor so you look very special.

Walter Braddock: Oh, honey. Somewhere in Mexico, there's a little bald-headed lady walking around. I want 'em to love your hair, not hers.

Walter Braddock: Hey! What kind of an electric toothbrush is this, huh? It hit me right in the eye!
Fritzie Braddock: It's a water pick. I bought it at the airport in New York. It sprays the gums.
Walter Braddock: It's a lucky thing I'm not blind. Every new gadget that comes out, you got to buy it.

Walter Braddock: I was just with her this morning, and she said...
Phil Newman: Oh, now wait a minute. You were with her this morning? But I was there this morning.
Walter Braddock: You? I had to leave on account of some insurance man.
Phil Newman: I couldn't get in on account of an insurance man.
Walter Braddock: I wonder who the insurance man was.
Phil Newman: [Justin Young raises his hand] You too?
Justin Young: That's our collar. Two doors and no waiting.

Phil Newman: It doesn't seem possible. All the beautiful letters she's written.
Justin Young: Correction. Not written - mimeographed.
Phil Newman: And I had her on some kind of pedestal like she was some kinda Snow White.
Walter Braddock: Hmm! Only with Snow White, the other dwarves, they knew about each other right?
[slaps forehead]
Walter Braddock: Geez, you know what we are?

Walter Braddock: Chumps! Idiots, you understand? Dumb dumbs. To think that I personally paid how much?... forty-one thousand dollars.
Phil Newman: What are you beefin' about? I gave forty-seven thousand dollars, six thousand more than you.
Walter Braddock: Whadda ya want, change?

Walter Braddock: [as the three men head inn a taxi for the hospital in San Anselmo] If anything happens to my kid.
Phil Newman: His kid. What happened to my stock in this corporation?
Justin Young: What makes you think there's anything wrong with the kid?
Walter Braddock: Huh?
Justin Young: Look, they lied to us for twenty years. Why should they start telling the truth now?

Walter Braddock: Cheeez. That's the lowest - using my kid...
Phil Newman: Again, his kid. All right. You want the kid? Tell you what you do. Give me forty-seven thousand dollars - she's yours.

Gia Campbell: Turn around.
Walter Braddock: You're talking to your flesh and blood. One of us is your father.
Gia Campbell: Then two of you turn around.

Walter Braddock: Whatever you think, all these years I've been your father. From the day you were born, you've always been my kid, and to me, you're still my kid. And I'm tellin' ya, you're not runnin' off with no married man.
Justin Young: You're going back to school, young lady.
Phil Newman: And you're gonna get straight As.

Walter Braddock: Those doctor's reports are right. She ain't my kid.
Fritzie Braddock: Not your kid? With that big mouth on her. Way she walks. Color of her eyes. Stubborn streak down her a mile wide. You tell me she's not your kid? Well, she's not Albert Schweitzer's kid, I'll tell ya that.
Walter Braddock: Hey, Fritzie, you really, you really think...
Fritzie Braddock: Listen, don't you look at me so innocent with them big rolly polly eyes. I'm the one who's gonna have the explainin' to do. When the kid comes to the States.
Walter Braddock: She gonna stay with us?
Fritzie Braddock: Where's she gonna stay, with strangers? A daughter's place is with her father.