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Never a Dull Moment (1968)

Edward G. Robinson: Leo Joseph Smooth

Never a Dull Moment

Edward G. Robinson credited as playing...

Leo Joseph Smooth

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Quotes31

  • Leo Joseph Smooth: [to Florian, whom he just backhanded across the face] Stop that bleeding, will ya? It's stupid.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: I heard about that big run-in you had with the Treasury boys.
  • Jack Albany: Yeah, yeah, I heard that.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: Well, you were there.
  • Jack Albany: Well, I heard you heard.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: You all right now?
  • Jack Albany: Yeah, I limp a little on the leg. You know how...
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: I thought he gottcha in the shoulder.
  • Jack Albany: He did, yes... It hit a nerve. Affected my leg. I still limp on it.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: He warned me to keep you away from booze and broads. He said booze and broads put you right out of your head.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: You know, I used to paint things you could recognize. You know, flowers, trees, waterfalls. Now I do that kinda stuff,
  • [Points to his splashed canvas]
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: and she swears its progress.
  • Sally Inwood: You know what we're trying to accomplish, Mr. Smooth.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: Well, someday we're going back to flowers and trees.
  • Sally Inwood: And they'll be YOUR flowers and trees.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: I wanna be remembered.
  • Jack Albany: Well, as it is if you wouldn't be?
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: Oh, yes, in some circles, but... Dillinger, Capone, Bugsy Moran. Those are names the whole world knows. They live on through the deeds associated with 'em.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: Well, I wanna do something that'll make a place in history for my name. Posterity doesn't honor executives.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: You know, Bobby used to be a fighter. Pretty good, too.
  • Bobby Macoon: Eight years in the ring.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: Now he's my communications expert.
  • Jack Albany: Oh, still listening for the bell, huh Bobby?
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: I brought Cowboy in from Vegas. Fastest tommy gun in the West.
  • Cowboy Schaeffer: Aw, shucks, Joe.
  • Jack Albany: [Speaking nabout Frank Foley] I got a parlor trick. In one second I make him dead and catch him before he hits the floor.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: Uh, when the time comes, I'll make him dead myself.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: Frank, I want you to shake hands with Ace Williams. And from now on, I want you to treat him like a brother.
  • Frank Boley: Last year I worked my brother over so bad...
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: Now, Frank...
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: If you'll shut your ignorant yaps, I'll set you guys straight on a few facts. First. It's not a lousy picture. It's a very fine picture and it's a very famous picture... worth around 600 Gs.
  • Bobby Macoon: 600 Gs?
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: And, second, it's 40 feet long. A whole room!
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: [to Florian, after slapping him across the face] What're you always bleedin' for?
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: What happened?
  • Frank Boley: He got fresh with the artist and she took care of him.
  • Jack Albany: I should have killed her.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: Francis.
  • [Francis picks Jack up off the floor]
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: I'm glad you were able to control yourself. I'm paid up for three more lessons.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: Pepé was right about you and broads.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: He thanks you, he relaxes, and you kill him. Now, how do you figure you'll do it?
  • Jack Albany: [Acting as Ace Williams] Do what?
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: Kill him.
  • Jack Albany: Oh, well maybe a shiv at the base of the medulla oblongata. Or, maybe I'll paralyze the clavichord. All depends on how I feel at the time.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: Medulla oblongata? Well, in every art form, there's an element of spontaneity, you know. I'm the first to appreciate that.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: What's going on here?
  • Sally Inwood: I would like another car, please, and another driver to take me home.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: Why? Something's wrong with the car?
  • Sally Inwood: It's broken.
  • Leo Joseph Smooth: A new car, less than a thousand miles, and it's broken?
  • Sally Inwood: Well, quite possibly it was not built to withstand crashing into a tree. Of course, that's just an opinion. I am not a mechanic.

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