James Garner: Ben Morris

The Pink Jungle

Ben Morris

Sammy Ryderbeit: [entering Morris' car, holding a machine gun] Now, don't panic, men. I'm just hitchin' a ride. Rolled my car over on a back road.
Ben Morris: Did you ever think of using a thumb?
Sammy Ryderbeit: No, it's more dramatic this way. Also, it works better. Alright, you're cleared for takeoff, skipper.
Ben Morris: Uh, would you mind taking that gun out of the back of my head?
Sammy Ryderbeit: Oh. Sure. Forgot I had it. Guns make you nervous?
[Morris takes off at high speed]
Sammy Ryderbeit: I see what you mean. Your hairdo would've been all over the front of your shirt.

Ben Morris: Hey, hold up a minute. Sammy, where'd you put the ChapStick?
Sammy Ryderbeit: I forgot to get any.
Ben Morris: Over $2,000 for this fouled up expedition and you couldn't even buy a 35-cent ChapStick? Whadda we do now?
Sammy Ryderbeit: Stop smilin' so much.

Sammy Ryderbeit: How much you figure was in the knapsack?
Dennis McCune (incorrectly given in credits as 'Crowley'): Twenty pounds, at least.
Sammy Ryderbeit: You don't even know what he's talkin' about, do you? Diamonds measured in pounds. Diamonds are weighed by the *karat*. Five karats make a gram. Twenty-eight grams make an ounce. Five times... twenty-eight times... sixteen.
Ben Morris: Why, that's - that's something over... two thousand karats to the pound!

Alison Duguesne: And there are three of us.
Sammy Ryderbeit: There's six of us. There's two of you, and there's four of me. I used to put on shootin' exhibitions.
Ben Morris: Was that before or after you were a mercenary in the Congo, an IDB, an ivory hunter, and a major in the Peruvian air force?

Alison Duguesne: McCune will kill you if he gets a chance. You know that.
Ben Morris: Oh, I've got his gun. What can he do?
Alison Duguesne: I don't know. There's something so *deadly* about him. God knows Sammy's dangerous and unpredictable, but somehow different.
Ben Morris: Yeah, I know what you mean. If Sammy killed you, five minutes later he'd buy you a drink.

Alison Duguesne: He turned out to be predictable, after all.
Ben Morris: [sees Sammy returning] Well, not quite.
Sammy Ryderbeit: You ever tell anybody I was this big a jerk, and I'll kill you.

Sammy Ryderbeit: Now that was nice goin'. Bluffin' him with an empty gun.
Ben Morris: What do you mean, bluffing?
Sammy Ryderbeit: I can count, can't I? You were out of shells.
Ben Morris: [removes his last bullet, which is only a tube of lipstick] With Passion's Plaything, you always get your man. I photographed the original layout.

Ben Morris: You're not holding us here because you still think I'm a CIA agent?
Coronel Celaya: Ha-ha-ha! I'm sorry, no. That was an error in judgment. I'm afraid I must apologize.
Ben Morris: Well, it's about time.
Coronel Celaya: Ha! To the CIA. It is - it is gratifying to know that they are not yet scraping the bottom of the barrel. Ha-ha-ha! Ha!
[Celaya leaves, then Morris strolls off alone, and produces a radio]
Ben Morris: This is Seven Dash Seven, reporting. Are you there, Clyde?
Clyde: Roger.
Ben Morris: Operation Pink Jungle is concluded. You can scratch Ortega. The revolution has been postponed. Oh, by the way, there's a - a nut named Ryderbeit flying out of here right now on a chopper. Let him go, will ya? I could've never pulled it off without him.
Clyde: I'll send a plane.
Ben Morris: Uh, no. No, don't send a plane. Uh, Colonel Celaya might get suspicious. I may want to use this same cover story another time.

Alison Duguesne: Whose crazy idea was it to come here?
Ben Morris: Mine.
Alison Duguesne: Mister Morris, I'm a freelance model, and I get paid for working, not for waiting. I have to work in Paris in three days, and then in St. Moritz. Can't even come through Customs. Any other man would have...
Ben Morris: I'm an artist. I'm not supposed to be practical.
Alison Duguesne: Artist? Peering through a piece of glass?

Ben Morris: Wait, wait a minute, Sammy. Uh, uh, you're - you're out of touch. Here - you - who - who uses money? See? There you are: a Diner's Club, American Express, uh, Bank Americard, Shell, Carte Blanche.
Benavides: Is good! Good! All good! See?
Sammy Ryderbeit: Now wait a minute. I promised him $500 to keep his mouth shut.
Benavides: Is alright! Is okay! Is good! Good!
[writes on the credit card invoice]
Benavides: Bribe: $500.
Ben Morris: There. You see?
Benavides: Sign here!

Sammy Ryderbeit: What's a nice girl like you doin' in a place like this?
Alison Duguesne: Looking for a lost diamond mine.
Sammy Ryderbeit: You got a map?
Ben Morris: Sure. Show it to him.
Sammy Ryderbeit: What'd you pay for this thing?
Ben Morris: Ten dollars.
Sammy Ryderbeit: Aw... You got stabbed. That version sells for $5 anywhere. Here, I'll show you somethin'. Catch that.
Alison Duguesne: What is this?
Sammy Ryderbeit: Now that's a diamond. It's industrial grade. And I know where you can pick up a million dollars' worth in an afternoon.
Ben Morris: You'd be a king in the used car business.

Sammy Ryderbeit: Now, listen. This is no corny con game. These diamonds are hidden to hell and gone back in the river bed. Back in the bush. They'll run 20% gem stones. I used to be an IDB before they made it too hot for me.
Ben Morris: A what?
Sammy Ryderbeit: An illegal diamond buyer. I told you I was from Joburg, didn't I? Look, you know what a pipe is?
Ben Morris: Sure, it's the word before "dream."
Sammy Ryderbeit: Ha ha. A diamond pipe is the matrix. It's blue...
Alison Duguesne: Watch it!

Alison Duguesne: I wouldn't have missed this for anything: intrigues, mysterious meetings, millions of diamonds...
Ben Morris: Yeah, a traditional setting, too. Oh, these things always take place in a shady nightclub. Madame Lobo will be a smoldering Latin in a tight evening gown.

Ben Morris: I've been in some backward places in my life, but this one takes the prize.
Customs Agent: Then why are you here?
Ben Morris: Because they told me in New York this was the world's most primitive jungle.
Coronel Celaya: Quite true.

Ben Morris: How much for the wild orchid?
[points to the top of the truck]
Ben Morris: The wild orchid.
Figueroa: Oh! Hoh! Very rare type. But for the senorita: one dollar... if you also buy lottery ticket for one dollar.
Ben Morris: I could never resist a bargain. There you are, Sir.
Figueroa: You wish to buy a map to a lost diamond mine? Only twenty dollars.
Ben Morris: I can't afford to find a diamond mine. I'm already behind in my taxes.
Figueroa: But diamonds are very profitable.
Ben Morris: Uh, yeah. So are wild orchids at a dollar apiece. No thanks, pal, not today.

Alison Duguesne: [looking at a drunken man sleeping] As the steamship ad says: Getting there is half the fun.
Ben Morris: [examines the man's liquor bottle] You can see what he was using for fuel.