Jan Miner credited as playing...
Lillian Hunsacker
- Ned Merrill: How's the family, Howie?
- Howie Hunsacker: My oldest boy just won the American Legion Scholarship Award. Straight A's this year.
- Ned Merrill: That's wonderful...
- Lillian Hunsacker: [Butting in] Yeah, then we bring our kids up to behave themselves. We don't let *our* kids run around drunk, wrecking cars.
- Jack Finney: He kept his daughters' names outta' the paper *that* time.
- Sylvia Finney: I'll bet *that* check didn't bounce!
- Ned Merrill: [Getting agitated] You leave my daughters out of this!
- Sylvia Finney: Well, why didn't you teach 'em some manners?
- Lillian Hunsacker: Ah, those girls never paid no attention to him.
- Howie Hunsacker: You, shut up...
- Lillian Hunsacker: Look, I'm not blaming the girls. It's him. Always chummin' around with the kids, tryin' to be "one of the gang."
- Ned Merrill: My daughters worship me. The love me and respect me. Because I'm their father. And they respect me. They respect me!
- Lillian Hunsacker: [Sarcastically] Yeah?
- Ned Merrill: My girls love me.
- Lillian Hunsacker: How many times we heard those girls talkin' in our place. We heard your girls givin' you the raspberry.
- Ned Merrill: You're a liar.
- Howie Hunsacker: Come on, Mr. Merrill, don't talk to my wife that way.
- Ned Merrill: She's a goddamned liar!
- Howie Hunsacker: Wanna' know what your girls thought of you, Mr. Merrill? Your girls laughed at you. I heard them. They thought you were a great big joke!
- [Ned, disgusted, angrily shoves Howie aside and runs off]
- Ned Merrill: Howie!
- Howie Hunsacker: Hi, Mister Merrill.
- Ned Merrill: Oh Howie, lend me fifty cents.
- Lillian Hunsacker: Don't you do it, Howie.
- Ned Merrill: Howie, for Christ's sake.
- Howie Hunsacker: What's fifty cents, more or less? I mean - considering.
- Ned Merrill: Thanks, Howie. Thanks a lot, chum. Thanks an *awful* lot.
- Jack Finney: You oughta' see the orders I had to send up to his house. French strawberry jam his wife made me stock for her. American strawberries weren't good enough for her.
- Sylvia Finney: Plain mustard ain't good enough for Mrs. Merrill. She had to have Dijon mustard.
- Jack Finney: Hearts of palm. Hearts of artichoke. Hearts of this, hearts of that... Some rich diet you have up there.
- Lillian Hunsacker: Hearts of Jack Finney, that's what they got.
- [Everybody laughs]
- Lillian Hunsacker: Well, are you gonna ask him or not?
- Howie Hunsacker: [embarrassed] Will you shut up?
- Lillian Hunsacker: Okay, then I'll ask him. When are you going to pay your bill, Mr. Merrill?
- Jack Finney: Yeah, how about that? We're decent people trying to make a living.
- Sylvia Finney: We got bills to pay too, you know.
- Lillian Hunsacker: You want to know something? You're the first deadbeat we ever got in our place.
- Howie Hunsacker: Tone it down, Lil!
- Ned Merrill: Wait a minute. Listen. I'm going to send the both of you a check tomorrow.
- Lillian Hunsacker: That's a laugh alright.
- Howie Hunsacker: Alright.
- Lillian Hunsacker: Oh listen, what's the matter with you? He's no friend of yours. His check isn't worth the paper it's written on.
- Howie Hunsacker: Ain't seen you in a dog's age, Mr. Merrill. Too bad you don't get into town anymore.
- Ned Merrill: We sure had a lot of good times, didn't we, Howie?
- Howie Hunsacker: Yeah, I used to count on seeing you 4 or 5 times a week in my place. Few drinks, a hamburger maybe.
- Ned Merrill: How was the series?
- Lillian Hunsacker: [irritated over Ned's unpaid bills] What are you waiting for? Go on, ask him.
- Howie Hunsacker: What series, Mr. Merrill?
- Ned Merrill: The World Series!
- Howie Hunsacker: Oh, you mean 2 years ago.